To want to tell my SIL to go and take a running jump...

[OhJustPassTheCake]

So I don't have a good relationship with my brother and his wife, unfortunately. I used to be great mates with my brother but since his wife came along (10 ish years ago now!) it's got worse and worse over time. She doesn't like to associate with family, preferring her friends over anyone and everyone. Her choice but makes a lot of situations awkward, especially as I would like my son to have a relationship with them and his cousins.

Anyhoo.... she has just text me to say that she is organising a surprise party for my bro's 40th in the summer, so I'm thinking, ooooh that sounds fun, I wonder what we'll be doing..... and then it says "so because everyone will be there I was wondering if you would babysit?"

After I spat my tea all over my keyboard and got over the shock, I typed back a very blunt and rude text but don't dare send it! How does she dare not invite us!??? I really wanna put her in her place but I also don't want to cause a bigger rift in the family...... what do I do Mumsnetters, WHAT DO I DO! I fucking hate the evil bitch

[OhJustPassTheCake]

Oh I like that one @Twopeapods.... God she's such a cow.

[FireInTheHead]

"LOL. I think you meant this for your babysitter. Really looking forward to the party!! Let me know if you need help setting up or if we can bring anything."

[DoomGloomAndKaboom]

"Sure! And of course you'll return the favour having our dc overnight when dh and I take bro out to celebrate his birthday. Or, go fuck yourself - your choice."


More cheek than Godzilla's arse.

[RuggerHug]

Someone above suggested tickets to an event. He could be made sell them. HOWEVER, if you got him tickets to an event in another city, and say your parents got him flights to said city, it would be a whole lot of bitchy for her to make him cancel his present from everyone and make them lose money. Just saying.

don't do this it's just what I'd be tempted to plan and imagine her face

[GreenShadow]

As Dorcas says, I would assume it is a party for friends not family. We would generally have separate social gatherings for friends and family members so it may not be a slight at all.

[MadMags]

I wouldn't give a shiny shite about upsetting anyone! How dare she?

I would text back

"I'm assuming you meant to send this to someone else, as obviously I'm going to attend my own brother's 40th party :) "

Do add the smiley face. Nice and PA.

[IMissGrannyW]

I thought KatnissMellark said it perfectly, and I particularly like the offer of a sleepover, but there's others similar which are good too.

Good luck, OP and hope you get your invite!

[Cherryskypie]

You've said you don't have a good relationship with your brother. Do you think he would want you there?

[AHedgehogCanNeverBeBuggered]

Ooh yes, definitely post what Teapods said! That'll throw her!

[Kadena127]

She's got some balls hasn't she!! Fancy trying not to invite you to your own brothers birthday!!

[Lovewineandchocs]

Today 16:42 GreenShadow

As Dorcas says, I would assume it is a party for friends not family. We would generally have separate social gatherings for friends and family members so it may not be a slight at all

Yes but the text says "everyone will be there" i.e. there isn't anyone else to babysit. Kind of implies that her family at least will be there, probably his too, if some of them usually babysit. I'd be furious!

[OhJustPassTheCake]

Just phoned my parents - MY BROTHER ANSWERED!!! He put mum on the phone and I made small talk, said I'd phone her again later

[Strokethefurrywall]

I'm going to come in and sit myself down as I feel this may be a winning thread!

[seven201]

Are you sure there aren't separate family and friends events?! Bloody cheek if not!

[SouthernNorthernGirl]

OP, are you going to respond to it? How bloody cheeky!

[AhNowTed]

Nobody is that insensitive.. she is plain nasty, knows you'd be hurt be doesn't give a flying.

[SouthernNorthernGirl]

Stroke I was just thinking the same!

[Astro55]

... when you think you've heard it all!! LOL 😂

[MySordidCakeSecret]

wow. Definitely find out if other family have been invited. What a bloody cheek!

[CalmItKermitt]

😮😮😮😮😮

That's all!

[FoxTeaParty]

What a cheeky cow! not at all placemarking to see how this pans out

[SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius]

I might go with:

"How are you planning to explain not inviting his own sister to his special surprise party?"

Or "I know we do not get on, but I cannot believe you would have a party for Brother'sName's special birthday without inviting his own sister - and I am sure he won't believe it either! Obviously I would not spoil the surprise, but I will be honest with him afterwards and tell him we were not invited".

[SingingInTheRainstorm]

I would reply, 'Of course we'll watch your DC whilst at the party, it goes without saying. So excited, let me know if you need any help.'

Should do the trick

[OhJustPassTheCake]

Fab response ideas people - FAB! Just want to find out if any other family will be there before I wade in, but kinda agree with @AhNowTed, she knows exactly what she's doing

[Ilovecaindingle]

Tell her yes it will def be a surprise for him when he has no family there!! What an odd ball!!