I'm feeling a bit sad and terribly nostalgic .... anyone up for a bunfight about trolls, spoof threads being not fun but bad, the po, bitchplopping and general MUMSNET HAS GORN TO THE DOGS.

[HoneyDragon]

It's pretty much fucked here in general a bit so I figured we could just make up some stupid petty vendettas and have a good old fashioned bunfight?

I've nothing against rescuing Princes. It's just that they too damn heavy to carry over your shoulder. And Viscountesses are HUGE!

Just tell the truth tiggy - it was you that killed the princes in the tower, wasn't it!?

Please capitalise my name Beyond. And ideally bold it. Then do a little fanfare in your head every time you read it.

And those Princes were already dead when I got there!

Empresses don't need rescuing. Empresses can rescue themselves.

Surprised Empresses have to do anything themselves, don't you have underlings to do your rescuing for you? What's the point in empressing if you still have to work?

Hmmmm that's a point....

What's wrong with being a pervert all of a sudden? God, Mumsnet is so judgemental these days. I remember when all this were penis beakers and anal sex.

I'm a baroness and have just returned a steaming dog turd to my neighbour who lets his dog shit outside my house several times a day.
This is going to be a real life bunfight.

Oooh shit got real!

Should have been flung ideally, Baroness, but it's a start

Light it, put it on his doorstep, ring the doorbell, BaronessBomburst. He will come out and jump on it with both feet to put out the fire.

Could I use the dried stuff on the hearth?
You know, like turf? 😂

Oi!! I need to know how this dog shit story pans out!!!

Nothing to report!
DS has been busy telling all his friends, and 6 year old boys love a good poo story. I expect half the village knows by now.