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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to ask how you deal with playground cliques!

335 replies

Onthedowns · 11/01/2017 21:55

My DD just started reception last year was warned about certain playground mums but ignored it however! There are three mums with younger children who seem to be glued together all the time before school, after school, parties they don't speak to anyone esle or make the effort. One if them I find particularly rude I have stood aside for her to pass and she hasn't acknowledged me just looked straight past me, they never smile say hello or intergrate. She ignored my DD chasing after and calling her son on the way home once too, if I hear someone calling my DD I make sure she at least acknowledges Them, considering my DD was running right beside her she couldn't miss her! I don't speak to every mum either but make an effort to smile and say hello to the ones I see regularly. I know not everyone will get on etc but considering our children are in the same class for the next however many years I find it strange you don't acknowledge people you see every day! It's my dds bday soon and I will be inviting whole class but these mums I don't feel I want too - but of course I will as it's not their children. so how you experienced mumsnetters battle through the minefield of playground politics!

OP posts:
BusyBeez99 · 11/01/2017 21:56

I always think that the only think I have in common with the playground mums is that we gave birth in the same 12 month period......

Year 6 here and it's still the same.

HateSummer · 11/01/2017 21:57

Ignore, ignore, ignore. Don't give them headspace, detach, do your own thing, make your own friends and ignore. Smile.

SharkSkinThing · 11/01/2017 21:58

Try not to take it personally!

You have many years of playground politics ahead - for your own sanity, smile away but do your own thing. 🌞

bumsexatthebingo · 11/01/2017 22:00

It wouldn't bother me tbh. If they're not friendly I'd just chat to someone else.

dayswithaY · 11/01/2017 22:01

Smile, be pleasant, don't try to understand their behaviour, let them get on with it. If you are relaxed and friendly to all then people will gravitate towards you and you will end up with some nice friends. Before you know it they're at senior school and you'll wonder what you were worrying about.

BarbarianMum · 11/01/2017 22:05

I don't notice them - lots of other parents to talk to.

PerpendicularVincent · 11/01/2017 22:13

Ignore it, there are plenty of other places to find nice people who would want to be friends.

Busy summed it up perfectly.

MrsDustyBusty · 11/01/2017 22:14

Why do you care if a group of women are friends?

Basicbrown · 11/01/2017 22:16

I don't stand for rudeness though. Ignoring/ not acknowledging is pig ignorant. Fix a big smile and say cheerily 'hi Gail, hi Carol' every time you see them, pretending you haven't noticed they are twats. Before obviously finding someone more interesting to talk to. It's a victory when people like that realise that you are utterly uncontrollable and give up.

Gatehouse77 · 11/01/2017 22:17

Ignore them but be civil if warranted.
It's their loss not yours. I'm glad I'm not part of any particular group - I can't be bothered with all the bloody drama.

MrsDustyBusty · 11/01/2017 22:17

Why do you need to believe they're conspiring to control you?

Magzmarsh · 11/01/2017 22:21

They're doing their own thing and have no interest in you. This happens in all aspects of life, not just the playground. Focus on your own life and let them get on with it.

NavyandWhite · 11/01/2017 22:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Basicbrown · 11/01/2017 22:25

Why do you need to believe they're conspiring to control you?

Hahaha well it's not personal to me. The point is that one person can be rude if they like, but you can't stop the other person being polite and friendly. Why would you ignore them back and sink to their level?

Jayfee · 11/01/2017 22:27

you sound nice...they dont

Yoarchie · 11/01/2017 22:27

Perhaps the three that are friends just cling to each other rather than talking to others. Perhaps they are not confident.

In any case it's all best ignored. You don't need them and it won't impact your child's friendships.

MrsDustyBusty · 11/01/2017 22:28

Why would you ignore them back and sink to their level?

Well I didn't saying would but I just can't imagine an existence where I'd dream up a strategy to prove to some strangers that I'm immune to their chicanery.

Basicbrown · 11/01/2017 22:29

They aren't strangers are they? You have to see them possibly every day if you are a SAHM.

SeaEagleFeather · 11/01/2017 22:30

there's only 3 of them. Must be lots of other mums! So they stand out as standoffish and rude, maybe in comparison with the others, but they just aren't that important. 'Don't exclude their children from invites, smile and be civil to the poor kids' mums and don't sweat about their lack of manners.

Kinda odd to be so bound up in each other that you can't look or talk to anyone else, really.

MrsDustyBusty · 11/01/2017 22:31

I'd still consider them strangers, really. They just happen to go to the same place. I also think of the people who get the same bus as me in the mornings as strangers. Certainly I'm not thinking about them and whether they ever think about me.

Magzmarsh · 11/01/2017 22:32

I see the same people on the bus to work every morning, they're strangers and hopefully I'll never be expected to engage with them just because we share that space for 30 minutes every day.

witsender · 11/01/2017 22:32

They're just people. They might be arses even if they weren't mums and in the playground. And there is no obligation to be friends.

80schild · 11/01/2017 22:34

Let it go, as the song goes. Venting on here will make you feel better (I have done it myself at times) and get on enjoying your life.

SallyGinnamon · 11/01/2017 22:35

Good point magz

Basicbrown · 11/01/2017 22:35

I agree there's no need to be friends and I wouldn't want to be. There is still no excuse for rudeness though.