AIBU to ask how you deal with playground cliques!

[Onthedowns]

My DD just started reception last year was warned about certain playground mums but ignored it however! There are three mums with younger children who seem to be glued together all the time before school, after school, parties they don't speak to anyone esle or make the effort. One if them I find particularly rude I have stood aside for her to pass and she hasn't acknowledged me just looked straight past me, they never smile say hello or intergrate. She ignored my DD chasing after and calling her son on the way home once too, if I hear someone calling my DD I make sure she at least acknowledges Them, considering my DD was running right beside her she couldn't miss her! I don't speak to every mum either but make an effort to smile and say hello to the ones I see regularly. I know not everyone will get on etc but considering our children are in the same class for the next however many years I find it strange you don't acknowledge people you see every day! It's my dds bday soon and I will be inviting whole class but these mums I don't feel I want too - but of course I will as it's not their children. so how you experienced mumsnetters battle through the minefield of playground politics!

You're in a hole op, stop digging

And I'm more than happy for people to discuss and disagree but you apparently have a big problem with it. Go ahead and have the last word op, it's clearly incredibly important to you

Who said I posted on here for everyone to agree with me! Why am I digging a hole? I happy for all opinions I have said that whole way though. But yes I have principles about rudeness and manners nothing wrong with that. Never said I disagreed with anyone's viewpoints you both did

down take the advice that's helpful to you
You dont have to explain over and over again. How you deal with it is up to you. You don't have to answer to anyone.

Yes OP Ghost There are many goaders on MN unfortunately. I think you can take from this thread that many people have experienced similar feelings. The difference seems to be how you react and sometimes that only changes with age and experience, sorry if that sounds patronising. I used to be quite sensitive but many experiences have taught me that often other people behave differently because of their own problems. Try to take it less personally and focus on those people that are like minded. ps I agree that they were rude but that's their problem, not yours.

Ghost is right, I meant to say.

She hasn't said that has she, your ready to jump on anyone for an argument that's all I can make out

On the other hand, if the cap fits Navy?

I wouldn't care, I'm only there for 10 mins picking my kids up, it's not a significant part of my life.

Last word is it? Who is it that's immature?

Unfortunately it doesn't stop in reception. My dd is now 10 and doesn't get invited to anybody's party in her class. She hears about them from everyone else, and it really upsets me because she has manners, is polite and caring. I think it doesn't matter who your child is, if you don't fit in neither will your child.its always going to be about who the parents are friends with. I think it's the case for any school gate anywhere

That's very sad , whatever the situation with parents it shouldn't affect children

Absolutely. Onthedowns I've heard they've been out for meals or to the cinema and I don't understand what's going to be different if my child was there. You obviously must need a certain look or way of life perhaps

Have you tried speaking to anyone? That's really tough for your child

It's horrible when your children are excluded and you can't do anjthung about it

I think the key to being invited to parties is having them yourself because people then invite back. DD never wants one (she'd rather do something smaller with her best friends) and then complains when she doesn't get loads of invites back . Not many 10 year olds have actual birthday parties surely?

At 10, my DC'S invite who they want, it's nothing to do with who their parents are. It's the same for all the children in the class, as far as I can tell.

OP, you've been given excellent advice on here about turning the other cheek and not letting other people's behaviour impact on your own life. You've also been given lots of reasons why some people come across so rude. Use these reasons to reassure yourself that their rudeness to you is not personal and then it becomes easier to bear. Your skin will thicken and life will be happier . Good luck with the next 6 (?) years, thank fuck I only have 6 months left!

I do think the reciprocal party thing has a ring of truth to it. At my DCs old school. I used to invite one of DSs friends every year. In the summer we'd always be invited back to her DCs birthday party. It was the only one he'd ever be invited to and I learnt to accept it as he has SNs and I think a lot of the time some parents are scared of how to handle him if he has a meltdown. I'd always stay around anyway but understood.

The one time I was struggling financially I didn't have a party for either DCs and the parents never invited DS back that year. It doesn't have to be like that though. My DD had a friend that moved schools and she still gets invited to her parties.