Are there some things silly, nasty things that happened where you just can't forgive the other person and/or they just really stick with you?

[SnipeBird]

My ex-bf from sometime back (we were together for 4 years) once did something which always comes back to me (whenever I see my eye in the mirror with a small scar above it!). We were volunteering supporting a youth pentathlon and my then bf was in charge of the shooting. I had never shot even an air rifle. He was a policeman and trained. He got me to demonstrate what they had to do, and instructed me to push my eye right up to the scope when I pulled the trigger. I obeyed and as he expected the gun (only an air rifle thing to be fair) had a kick back which knocked me right in the eye. He was pissing himself with laughter trying to tell the kids that was a great demonstration of what not to do, whilst the scope had cut part of my eye and I had put my hand to hide the blood and walked away pretending to laugh and burst into tears as soon as out of sight. I was left with a horrid black eye and all he could say was 'well that was bloody stupid wasn't it!' We split up shortly after! It happened over ten years ago but still to this day really sticks with me.

thankyou mummynoo hun -yes thankfully that was 8 years ago i totally rebuilt my life much to my now ex friends dislike and my ex husband.like so many people have said on this thread thou it as always stayed with me-her cruel words when i needed a few kind words instead.Unfornately there will always be people like her in this world but being able to cut them help is the best thing anyone can do x

I have a lot of unhappy memories from my childhood as I was overweight and bullied a lot due to it - even had a grown man say to me in the street 'when are you going on a diet' I must have been about 11 at the time but a teacher when I was in y7 commenting on my red complexion by using a word to rhyme with my name has always stuck with me and I am incredibly conscious of my skin tone because of it. However one of the rawest memories for me is only from about 5 years ago. The headteacher of the school I was at bullied me horrendously and stepped it up a gear when I returned to work after maternity and it reached the point where I broke down and was signed off with stress for two weeks. On my return she hauled me into the office to tell me all the things I needed to do to improve which caused me to break down in front of her. She then told me there must be something wrong with me and made me call the dr in her office in front of her before lettting me leaveto go home. As it turned out I did have Pnd exacerbated by the work situation so I actually felt suicidal at one point. When I finally left during my last assembly she paid a cursory goodbye to me in front of the children then pulled her final trick against me - she had got all the children to write down all the wonderful
Things they loved about their class teachers to read out. I was the only teacher In school who didn't have their own class so everyone had something read out for them except for me. I cried in the toilet after the assembly but hid it from her. She was a monster and I hope karma catches up with her one day

One of my childhood abusers asked me for pictures a couple of years ago. I stupidly obliged. It just put me back in that headspace. Much better after therapy but my OH's remark still haunts me.

'if you ever cheat on me again I will throw you out and get custody of the baby, and you'll never see her again. The courts will side with me because you're crazy.'

Clakster I am really happy for you. It is an unbelievably hard journey to make. Am so pleased to hear of your new life without either of them

thankyou mummynoo- it means a lot your kind words.x

yippeekiyay2 - what an absolute horrific bitch. I would consider reporting her to whoever governs the teaching body - you had a medical condition which needed respect and understanding. I've had some horrific bosses in my time and now wish I'd have done something about any one of them. Sadly people like this seem to be all too common in positions of authority (and all through life). At least you got away from her and can move towards something better.

I really hope you got the support you needed from your family and doctor and that you are on the mend.

And it amazes me how many people don't seem to understand how cruelty to a child can affect them all through their life

Thanks mummynoo, it was 5 years ago and I am lucky to have a supportive dh and family and recovered fairly quickly once diagnosed and receiving treatment. I also went on to work in a different place where I have been respected and valued and it turned out to be a positive move, although I will never forget her behaviour and it takes me a while to trust people in workplaces now. I also have a 5 month old as well now and have been lucky to not have suffered pnd a second time

My long distance lorry driver (relevant) boyfriend of two years casually mentioned to me that 'Tracy's pregnant' one night while we were out with friends. I asked him who Tracy was and the reply I got was 'my wife'. Never got over that and I never got over that our 'friends' all knew, including my closest friend who was also my roommate.

Bloody hell Wilbur

Moved out that night and never told a soul since user. Even when I read it back it seems like it happened recently though it was 20 years ago.

That's unbelievable, I can't believe your friends didn't tell you. I always wonder how people have double lives, maybe it would be harder these days with social media etc.

Rix

I can't forgive how family member were when my first child was being diagnosed with autism. It veered from outright disbelief to accusing me of having that "munchausens" then there were the ones who whined on about how it affected them because they were so very worried. I've never had an apology from a single one of them and I have no time for any of them even though they do make an effort to be understanding now. People say life is short and I should get on with them and make the effort but I can't forget how much harder they made the worst time of my life. I feel indifferent to them all and can't see that will ever change. I just don't like them.

Members not member

One that stands out for me was when I started dating someone and it turned out I actually vaguely knew his ex wife

When he told her he was dating me she said isn't she a bit fat?' And then he actually repeated it to me

We didn't last long for other reasons

When I was in college, I desperately, desperately wanted to take up ballroom and latin dancing. Always wanted to dance as a child but couldn't afford the classes. Went along to classes hugely excited and was told by the teacher that I was 'too manly' to dance the girl steps and would have to dance the man's part. Admittedly there were too many girls in the class for all the guys to partner, but with the other girls, next tallest after me was about 5'4, they took it in turns to dance with the guys and with me. I am about 5'7, 5'8 at an absolute push, there were guys taller than me in that class. I asked if I could swap but no, she couldn't spare me because I was 'so tall.' Didn't help I had a lot of self image issues at the time. Teacher herself was about 5'1 and constantly complimenting the shorter girls for being dainty and feminine etc. I stuck it out for a couple of weeks but I found the classes and her attitude so upsetting I stopped going in the end. I so want to take it up properly but I'm scared of the same thing happening again :( Not the end of the world and certainly not as bad as some on this thread, but I've never forgotten it.

For all PPs ♡

My husband telling me on my birthday that I was too fat to have sex with. Also lots of awful dreadful things said and done that night. Only been married nine months, he apologised the next day.

It's my most lasting birthday memory, it's my birthday this week. Even lots of years later, I hate my birthday!

I just want this "special" day to be over. I will just sit quietly on the day, I'll go to bed early.

Gosh Fraggled are you still together?

As a child of about 9 or 10, I wasn't very popular but was friends with a girl who was. One lunchtime, she was hanging around with some other popular girls and I suppose I was sort of tagging along. She hung back, grabbed my arm and twisted it around my back then said "do you ever get the feeling nobody wants you around? Because they don't!" I left and sat on the mobile classroom steps in tears. Not a single other person came to speak to me, except a lovely Jamaican dinner lady, whose voice I can still remember, who asked me if I was having a bad day and that it would pass. I have never forgotten how awful that felt. Same girl invited me to her birthday party, sleepover and swimming. During swimming, I started to feel really badly sick and had come down with a tummy bug. Back at school, she told everyone never to invite me to their party as I would ruin it. I remember her also ripping up a beautiful birthday invitation of mine, which my mum had spent ages making. I can still feel the hurt and humiliation.

Many years later, at university, it was summer and I was wearing a perhaps ill-advised combination of pink shorts and a matching pink T-shirt. I had gained a bit of weight, as you do at uni, and was around a size 14. I was walking home across the market square and happened to make eye contact with a young man on one of the burger vans. He smirked at me and slowly said, whilst laughing, "you are a big fat pig." Horrible.

Many years ago our DD was born 4 months after our wedding. Close family happy and delighted to have a GD. Cousin wrote to me expressing her disapproval and the disgrace I had brought on the family name. She had 3 DDs and was 8 months pregnant with her DS at the time.

My DD died suddenly aged 7 months. Cousin wrote to my parents to express her sympathy but couldn't write to me.

I have been no contact with her ever since.

Nasty things said are never silly.

My ex told me after an emotional affair, when our 2nd daughter was 3 months old, that the person he was with was my intellectual superior. That hurt a lot. I forgave him, we moved on, but I didn't forget it. When he left me and our three children for his affair partner, he said the same, 16 years later. Abusive people don't change.

to all of you.

I must've been thoroughly unlikeable when I was younger but the most recent and work related one was when my dad was dying of mesothelioma . I work in an envoirnment where there's 2 of us and while telling my colleague about the latest cancer related stuff she stopped me and I KID YOU NOT said " we all have to die somday!" We ended up in the office not long after that . Awful thing to say .