Are there some things silly, nasty things that happened where you just can't forgive the other person and/or they just really stick with you?

[SnipeBird]

My ex-bf from sometime back (we were together for 4 years) once did something which always comes back to me (whenever I see my eye in the mirror with a small scar above it!). We were volunteering supporting a youth pentathlon and my then bf was in charge of the shooting. I had never shot even an air rifle. He was a policeman and trained. He got me to demonstrate what they had to do, and instructed me to push my eye right up to the scope when I pulled the trigger. I obeyed and as he expected the gun (only an air rifle thing to be fair) had a kick back which knocked me right in the eye. He was pissing himself with laughter trying to tell the kids that was a great demonstration of what not to do, whilst the scope had cut part of my eye and I had put my hand to hide the blood and walked away pretending to laugh and burst into tears as soon as out of sight. I was left with a horrid black eye and all he could say was 'well that was bloody stupid wasn't it!' We split up shortly after! It happened over ten years ago but still to this day really sticks with me.

undivided I believe that people like her get their comeuppance eventually.

banana I wouldn't have found what your DH did funny either if it happened to me but it did make me smile.

DH did something stupid to me once. I had my dressing gown on and it must have had sprays etc on it. He had a lighter, this was our smoker days, and pretended to set fire to it by flicking it by me. Only it went up very quickly but didnt quite catch. It stank after! Bloody twat! I've never let him forget the time he almost set fire to me.

I started dating my first serious/long-term boyfriend when I was doing my masters. A couple of years after we started dating, I had to move to a different part of the country for my job but we carried on a ldr. He cheated on me, and it hurt but I almost understood why and I was going to forgive him. Then he broke up with me and said that he'd only ever started dating me because English girls are supposed to be "easy" (we were both living his home country, which was also the country where I grew up). A whole 3+ year relationship, a man I thought was going to be my life partner, and it was all because he thought I would be easy to get in bed

20 years ago we were collecting in a pub for a sponsored walk in remembrance of DS1 who had died very young. My sister and her daughter were both asked for a kiss in exchange for a pound. Then they looked at me and said 'no thanks love'. I was mortified, tried to laugh it off but that still hurts. Plus the fact that I should have punched them for asking for kisses in exchange for money for charity

A so called friend of mine who raved about how my daughter was her adopted daughter. Except when my daughter got into a situation which my friend knew about, she sat back and did nothing! Didn't go to help her, didn't contact me or Dh to let us know so we could have been there a lot sooner. She then smirked at me when I brought it up about how she couldn't possibly get involved. I struggled with getting my head round that!

Then about 13 months ago her and her friend decided to ignore me. They would make spiteful remarks which was really uncomfortable in our group of friends and I ended up backing off. Then suddenly she wanted to be friends again. Tried over the summer but in September cut contact. I've seen her about but I just walk past her now. She's made her bed, she can lie in it!

My nan died in the summer who was more like my mum to me. It was an appalling four weeks leading up to it. Two days later my best friend came round (I asked her to) as I needed company. I was very tearful and admitted I had considered putting a pillow over my Nan's face to spare her the suffering.

Next night some friends invited me round to theirs. I wasn't really in the mood but they said I needed to eat and it didn't matter if I didn't want to talk, they just wanted to get me out of my flat. They were very kind. Offered to come to funeral with me if I wanted. I wasnt overly chatty but did my best. There were about 8 of us there including best friend who barely said 3 words to anyone as she was busy texting on her phone to a bloke she'd just met. I didn't stay late and best friend walked me to car. I said I'd see her soon but didn't hug her. She pulled a face so I asked why. She then had a go at me "I'm trying to be supportive but you're just giving me the cold shoulder and not talking to me".

This was the day after I'd poured my heart out and she'd ignored pretty much everyone and me that evening for 90 minutes to text this random bloke.

I had a 'friend' in high school who, when we fell out (as teenage girls do)made everyone turn against me as she stated I was a 'psycho creepy lesbian' and sent me a note telling me to stop staring at the girls in the changing rooms at PE. Yet at the same time was spreading rumours that I was going with boys down the park.I wasn't. I don't know why she did it, all I know is that she tried to buy me back a few months later with teddy bears and nail varnish...it didn't work....

I also came to the end of my tether with my (now ex) boyfriend who continually told me I was too much like my mum (yes my mum is overprotective but she gave him a room to stay in and food to eat for 3 yrs)

I was diagnosed with cancer.
I started telling people & told someone I thought was a good friend & who, because of her profession, might be able to help understand all the info that was thrown at me.

She sent me a postcard saying how she wouldn't talk to me whilst all this was going on but she'd keep up with my progress by getting in contact with another friend who she'd met once.
At that point I hadn't told the other friend of my diagnosis so she ingnored the FB message from friend 1 because it didn't make sense to her.

I've never spoken to her since that postcard, it would have been less hurtful if she'd said Fuck off rather than treat me in such an infantilising, patronising, thoughtless manner.

Nicketynac, you're absolutely right...and she did. She died 8 years later.

Made plans with a supposed friend for nye in London. Called her several times on the day to find out when she wanted to leave but no answer. She ignored my texts. Read on fb at 8pm that she'd gone to London earlier with other people. Never really forgave her for that, as it was a final nail in the coffin (she wasn't a great friend).

We were out for a friends birthday, me and DH, few mutual friends and this bloke, Charlie. Charlie was always quite cool towards me but we didn't know each other well and didn't seem to have much in common so meh...

About halfway through the evening, Charlie leaned across the table to DH and said 'if I was married to someone like Alpaca, I'd have to go and have an affair just to cope'
It came out of nowhere, my jaw dropped. Such a nasty thing to say for no reason. DH hadn't even heard him properly but I did, so I got up and walked away for a bit. Charlie then accused me of 'sulking'. Cunt.

It sounds so petty but I've never really forgiven him. I didn't feel much sympathy when I found out that his long term gf had cheated on him with lots of his friends and dumped him by text.

I lost my first pregnancy while I was on honeymoon. I wont say baby as I had only just found out 5 days before I got married but as you can imagine I was still pretty upset. Mil picked us up from airport in a foul mood and blurted out "she may not be pregnant now but I'm sure it won't be long before she is again" she had been in our flat while we were away I left keys for emergency reasons but she just fancied a nose to tell us It was a state. It was a tiny 1 bed attic flat and dh had far to much stuff. It was a dig for us to sort ourselves out.

Derxa- that's a really tough one. I think you're right to seek support. It must feel really conflicting. For what it's worth, I don't think someone dying warrants forgiveness..

Banana thanks for your comment. Sorry to hear about your losses.

ExH insisted I went to a party where I knew no one. I was crippled with social anxiety due to an abusive relationship before I met ExH, so really didn't want to go, but ex insisted. I was stood in a corner trying to be invisible whilst everyone played a game which involved putting a funnel in your waistband, then trying to flip a coin from your forehead into the funnel. Everyone had a turn, then ex insisted I try. I was beyond mortified to be the centre of attention but he kept on until it became easier to agree to do it. He put the funnel in the waistband of my jeans and told me to tip my head back, as soon as I did he tipped his entire can of beer down the funnel. I was stood there, pants dripping wet with everyone laughing at me. I was devestated. Turned out he cooked up the whole "game" just to do that, to"bring me out of my shell"

Many people have described me as looking like a librarian

HarryPotter - Terry Pratchett has described librarians as the most highly-evolved life form in the the universe.

Be proud!

(Someone once told me I looked like Jane off "Crossroads". I cried for days . . . )

Some of the things I have read on here are heartbreaking. There are some unbelievably cruel people about. It puts my whinge into proportion.

I am not surprised that many people are having difficulty coming to terms with the spiteful comments and cruel "jokes" that have been directed towards them.

I hope that all of us will be able to get over the unmerited spite that has been directed against us. We all deserve better.

What happened to you wasn't forgivable, OP.

You aren't compelled to forgive anyone and it's possible to move on satisfactorily in life without forgiving unforgivable acts; I'd say it's easier, actually.

Thanks happy, sadly it is more to do with the fact I look like a "square". I was also told I look like a character from a children's cartoon, won't say which as it's pretty outing. I was mortified and have refused to have my hair that particular length again and changed my glasses straight away. Seems so stupid to be hung up on what people think about the way I look, but no one ever just says anything nice! It always seems to be negative.

After my first miscarriage, SIL told me it's a good thing it happened anyway, the baby might have inherited my DB's mental health problems (he's not diagnosed but he has got plenty of issues). She's ex-Sil now which is good.

Quite small in comparison, the first man I ever loved. We'd been talking about the next steps in our relationship.
It came about that we were going to get tattoos of each others names.
The next day I called him and said I was going to have a surprise for him. He guessed that I was getting my tattoo... I'll never forget that he said "yes baby, go get it!"
I got the tattoo,
2 weeks later he ghosted me.
When he came back he told me that there was a woman who was carrying his child. Conceived about the time I got that tattoo.

I'll never be able to forget that he did that to me.

Going through horrific postnatal depression involving a fair amount of drugs.

Someone who knew me well enough to know what the score was took me aside at a social event and told me to get over myself. She genuinely thought she was helping. In reality she did the exact opposite.

I have as little as possible to do with her now.

Hungry hippo - how awful, and not minor at all.

Several years go I had cancer. After 2 operations, radiation treatment etc. I got the all clear. Although I have to take medication every day.
DH and I had life and critical illness insurance. Paid a lot over the years for the policy.

Due to the tumour being over a certain size and not completely contained as well as being on life long medication to keep me alive the insurance policy paid out. It wasn't a huge amount but It meant we could move out of our small flat and into a larger semi detached house. keeping the same mortgage that we had. ( so effectively the policy amount was the difference in value between the 2 properties)

DH told his best friend who then told his wife. She told me ' What an easy way to get money'

Yeah really easy, 2 operations leaving me with a permanent scar that is visible all the time. Radiation treatment that was so radioactive I was kept in a lead room unable to see my children for over a week. Was terrified I'd die and leave my young children without a mother. On medication that doesn't completely work and will probably over time damage my heart.
All of which she knows.

When husbands best friend and her were looking to move house she felt the need to again mention the money. How ' we can't all get given money for nothing'