Are there some things silly, nasty things that happened where you just can't forgive the other person and/or they just really stick with you?

[SnipeBird]

My ex-bf from sometime back (we were together for 4 years) once did something which always comes back to me (whenever I see my eye in the mirror with a small scar above it!). We were volunteering supporting a youth pentathlon and my then bf was in charge of the shooting. I had never shot even an air rifle. He was a policeman and trained. He got me to demonstrate what they had to do, and instructed me to push my eye right up to the scope when I pulled the trigger. I obeyed and as he expected the gun (only an air rifle thing to be fair) had a kick back which knocked me right in the eye. He was pissing himself with laughter trying to tell the kids that was a great demonstration of what not to do, whilst the scope had cut part of my eye and I had put my hand to hide the blood and walked away pretending to laugh and burst into tears as soon as out of sight. I was left with a horrid black eye and all he could say was 'well that was bloody stupid wasn't it!' We split up shortly after! It happened over ten years ago but still to this day really sticks with me.

Thanks PurpleNurple69. My DF was abusive emotionally verbally and physically and he never really forgave me either. When the real asaults happened he refused to acknowledge them saying obviously i was lying.

I've mentioned this before on other threads but a few years ago I had a phone call from the police saying they wanted to speak to me about an incident on the beach that morning concerning my out of control dog

I said "What dog and what incident" as I don't and never have had a dog and I was nowhere near the beach that morning

It turned out that a "friend's" dog had attacked another dog and when the owner intervened my so called friend had given the police my name, address and phone number

Still bothers me

Don't want to hog the thread but I have thought of another one. Nasty but in a small way. More petty. But still irks me. When I was in my early teens I had a bad virus which didn't go away. The following year after a huge battery of tests and examinations I was diagnosed with ME/CFS. My DF accused me of faking it, which is typical of him. But the most hurtful thing was my friends at school taking the same attitude- I hadn't expected it from them. A girl who had a reputation for being mean would tease me about it telling me that i was just "tired" and to stop whingeing. But I hadn't expecte dmy close friends to turn on me. My best friend didn't stick up for me. She did believe the ME/CFS diagnosis, I think but would say that as i wasn;'t in a wheelchair that I wasn't truly disabled and when I was still sick in my late teens/20s she would sneer at me to get a job. Aside from that she was a nice mate. I think it is just ignorance but for some reason it hurts more coming from "nice" people

Had a friend who very enthusiastically told me that she was having a great time gossiping about my divorce to all who would listen!

Then my now NC MIL who told me that she was only interested in having pictures of her son and her at my and DH's wedding, promptly followed by taking me to one side and threatening me if i ever upset DH. And then announcing how beautiful the bridesmaids looked!

She and SIL were like the even more toxic ugly sisters, luckily my DH, sees then for the cows they are, and has told them so, before he went NC.

Dani what you were subjected to there is a well known con/sharp practice in the world of property rentals. It's probably not helpful to tell you now that if you had taken them to the small claims court to get that money back you'd have had a good chance of winning the case.

My contribution to this thread is nothing like as horrible as some on here. When I was a student I really wanted to go inter-railing but it was the 80s and girls just didn't go on their own unless they were prepared to be perved over in several different languages. Being awkward and hearing impaired I didn't feel equipped. My then boyfriend started to talk about going and then his BF joined in and we all started to discuss it. A few months later boyfriend announced to me that he wanted to go inter-railing with his BF and not me as I would apparently have spoiled the atmosphere (not sure how, but something to do with being female instead of a 'lad' ). The relationship didn't last much longer after that. No, I never did go inter-railing, but on reflection, I don't think I missed much. Hotels beat tents hands down.

Dani some landlords are unbelievably spiteful. I have a friend who was once rescued in a medical emergency by the police, who broke into her home to rush her to hospital - she had phoned 999 and collapsed and the paramedics couldn't get in. She survived, but only after a long period of time spent in hospital very critically ill. Her landlord and the lettings agency withheld her deposit (around £1000) because the police had mildly scratched the front door whilst rescuing her! (They also tried it on claiming that she had stained various items in the flat but she had pictures to prove she hadn't.)

She had a lawyer write to them to point out that she wasn't liable for the damage either in law or under the terms of their very own tenancy contract, but they refused to listen. She ended up taking them to a dispute and won. During the whole saga neither the landlord nor the agents even so much as asked how she was or expressed any concern over her health. Nasty, nasty people!

My advice now is never to hand over your rented property back to the agents or landlord without LOTS of time-stamped digital photos showing the condition of absolutely everything in the property. As I hand back the keys to the agent I tell them I am about to send them an email showing the exact condition I've left the property in (with tons of pics attached) and press send from my phone so they can see I've done it. It seems to prevent them taking the piss over the deposit these days. Oh and if you remember, take photos of everything just before you move your stuff in, too, so that you have a record of the condition of everything there. Too many landlords and agents really take the piss trying to charge tenants on spurious grounds for longstanding damage or expected wear and tear which they are meant to budget for but like to try to get tenants to pay for instead.

Aunt who told me after the death of my DF (her brother) that everyone would be happier if I'd died instead. I was 9.

MIL who said that each of my MCs were for the best because I'd make a terrible mother.

Later when I was gripped by PND she said it was because I wasn't meant to have a child and I'd failed my DH.

ScreechingWeasel All those things are HORRIBLE. Am so sorry you went through all that. Some people are just evil. ((((hugs)))) (flowers)

My body is a bit of a mess to look at, I've got a lot of very visible scars, I'm covered in them everywhere but my face (gang raped, they had knifes) and I've had a double mastectomy. I don't cover any of it up, haven't had reconstruction, wear a bikini on the beach, backless dresses, sleeveless shirts etc and I've had some real crackers of comments. In fairness they don't bother me at all anymore, I can just scoff at them but it took me a long time to get to this point.

I have been told that with my scars I look like a messier version of the corpse bride - gave me a good idea for my Halloween costume that year, lady who made the comment looked like she wanted the floor to swallow her when I won the best costume prize and thanked her publicly for the idea. It was a bit childish of me .

I've also ad some really horrific comments, but not going to list them here as too many other people have awful memories on this thread. for all.

The one comment that stays with me the most, even though only a few months ago, still makes me beam. On holiday a few months ago DS (3 years) overheard some people making comments about my body and he spun around with balled up little fists and an angry face and told them his mummy was a superhero because she could turn into a zebra in the sunlight, so there! He meant the way my skins tans really well but the scars don't, but it made me cry it was so sweet. Then he told me to come on and marched off!

Wow Loup im almost speechless...

Can't people connect that scars must have come from a shitload of pain and trauma?

Insensitive pricks.

Your boy sounds like an angel. 😇

ineed you would think so, wouldn't you, its pretty obvious they're cuts from knives. You also wouldn't believe the number of lectures I've had on the evils of self harming and how I "better have stopped that nonsense now you're a mother" . I haven't ever self harmed but that's beside the point, its a shitty thing to say and makes me furious, not for myself if that makes sense.
He is, I am biased but he is an amazing little boy, and is always making me laugh, we are extremely lucky to have him

This will sound trivial compared to other PPs horrible experiences, but I have NEVER forgotten this: happened about 30 years ago. I used to work abroad, came home once a year to see my dad. Have 2 sisters, youngest lived with Dad and as we did not get on (due to the way she treated Dad), I could not stay there. My older (wealthy) married sister lived nearby, in her big 4 bed house, no kids, but I was never invited to stay there. I stayed with a good friend a bus ride away and every few days went to see my dad, then dutifully visited my older sister, thinking that at least I was doing my part to keep some family contact going. If I was lucky I'd get a cup of tea there, then get the bus back to my friend's house. One day, at my sister's, I realised I had to tell the friend I wouldn't be back for dinner that evening. I asked my sister if I could use her phone (this was long before mobiles!). She said in an icy voice 'As long as it's just a local call ...' I did not bother with the dutiful visits to her after that, rather encouraged my dad to come and visit me, and haven't seen either of my sisters for years. That sentence was the last straw and I have never forgotten it.

Loup - what your son said was lovely!

Loup

You are incredibly courageous - and whoever marries your son will be one lucky girl/boy!

When I married dh, who is of asian descent, a friend told me that my 'status' would go down (because he was asian and I am white british).

228 and happy, thank you both so much - he is an amazing little boy, always selfless and considerate, he has two particular friends who have some pretty severe disabilities and whenever we go and stay with either of them he is always the first to jump to their defense in parks and playgrounds on the occasion otherr kids say anything. DH and I are very proud of him, he's wonderful. I am determined to be the worlds best MIL, if/when the time comes, but who knows I may decide to go creepy on him .

Gingham thats awful

Walkers some people are real idiots

When I was little, I was bright at school. So my parents labelled me the bright one and my dsis the arty one. Then one year, to everyone's horror, I won the school art prize. My mother marched me and my sister into the headteacher's office and told her she'd given the prize to the wrong child. I very quickly learnt not to do too well at art. Or anything much for that matter.

I still wonder what the headteacher must have thought of that.

all.
I was told one morning on the bus on the way to university (I can see in my head exactly where we were 20 years later) by a 'friend' that I was an energy sucker. That I drained the energy out of her when I spoke. I was gutted.
We stayed in touch a bit after uni. I dropped her a few years ago tho. Didn't stay in touch or return calls etc. She made me feel bad. Life's too short.

Yep. 12 years ago i was at a wedding with my husband - we'd only been married 2 months. During the evening an "old friend" of his who was over from Australia for the wedding (and who we'd entertained at our house that week with an overnight stay already and had been very flirty with my husband and who was going to be staying with us again on the wedding night) came up to our table and said for all to hear "when you go to sleep tonight I'm going to get into your bed and fuck your husband". She'd have done it too. WTF????!!!! Cue stunned silence all round. My spineless twat of a husband over- polite husband said nothing and didn't support me at all over it. She then got all upset and needed to be comforted.Then it came out from him that they had history together which he'd lied about previously. She then came home to our house to stay over and spent the next day lounging on our sofa eating all our food and drinking our wine. And he let it happen. I found it very hard to address it with her and he did NOTHING. I almost left him over the whole thing.

Unsurprisingly I've not really got over it and she'd better hope I don't see her again. I'm far more mouthy confident these days. And to an extent am still angry with him about his total lack of balls over the whole thing...probably should let it go now I suppose!

Mummy she sounds like a fruit loop.

I think you were right to be annoyed with your DH, even if he didn't say anything at the wedding I'd understand him not wanting to make a fuss at someone else's big day.

But to allow her to stay in your house, that really crossed the line. He should've taken her to one side and sternly advised her to book a room sharpish.

Loup, your little boy is amazing.
People are so nasty sometimes. This is a sad thread.
Hate humanity sometimes.

Loup your wee boy sounds so special. What a caring nature to treasure.

ineedmore - I know. Totally get keeping quiet at the reception (when we rowed about it there we took it outside lol) but I asked him to speak to her quietly while we were there and he wouldn't do it. He really does need some big boy pants (thought about getting some for xmas but he wouldn't have worn them ). She was a disturbed individual I think and he "didn't want to upset her". Em, what about your wife??

when I was pregnant the first time I was quite unwell. High blood pressure, was hospitalised a few times etc. I was living with DH in a new country, not my own, and all my family and friends live in my home country. One of Dh's friends would call me every day and ask how I was. I always felt it a bit much,and her questions were a bit intrusive but I did not want to be rude. I used to say to DH; 'Why is she calling again'. I thought it was being kind, but felt it was wierd.

When DC1 was about 2 we finally went out with DH's friends to a pub. There was a big group. This friend of DH's got really drunk and out of nowhere she piped up aggressively; 'You know, you were really fucking pathetic when you were pregnant. Worrying about this or that. i used to get off the phone and laugh at you'.

When i left my violent and abusive husband after trying to find the courage for years -my so called friend said i was mental to leave him because of the big house i lived in.i.ll never forget those words when i was at my lowest living in a refuge in one room no money and 2 children under 5.

clakster - that's truly awful. Huge respect for you for managing to leave to make a better, safer and heathier life for you and your children. I really hope that life has improved hugely since then for you