Are there some things silly, nasty things that happened where you just can't forgive the other person and/or they just really stick with you?

[SnipeBird]

My ex-bf from sometime back (we were together for 4 years) once did something which always comes back to me (whenever I see my eye in the mirror with a small scar above it!). We were volunteering supporting a youth pentathlon and my then bf was in charge of the shooting. I had never shot even an air rifle. He was a policeman and trained. He got me to demonstrate what they had to do, and instructed me to push my eye right up to the scope when I pulled the trigger. I obeyed and as he expected the gun (only an air rifle thing to be fair) had a kick back which knocked me right in the eye. He was pissing himself with laughter trying to tell the kids that was a great demonstration of what not to do, whilst the scope had cut part of my eye and I had put my hand to hide the blood and walked away pretending to laugh and burst into tears as soon as out of sight. I was left with a horrid black eye and all he could say was 'well that was bloody stupid wasn't it!' We split up shortly after! It happened over ten years ago but still to this day really sticks with me.

In high school (and continued) I had anorexia (tonnes of psychological care etc behind the scenes). I had told a close friend, and explained that one of the things that terrified me and made me really anxious was people watching me eat. One lunch time I was in the canteen with a few mates and dared to nibble a crisp to stave off the hunger pains, glanced up and she was stood staring through a window with a bunch of people she'd "recruited" to come and watch me. The bastarding smirks on their faces stung for years. I am on fine terms with a few of them, but that girl I would cross the road and could not look her in the eye even now.

Positive is I am a healthy weight now with some lovely friends :)

I have another one. In my last school, I was fought over by two boys - constantly. It got so bad that one day my form teacher sat the whole class in a circle to discuss problems and the whole class said that it was my fault for not facing up to the responsibility for the two boys fighting over me. My mum also backed the teacher up to make matters worse.

derxa and flippinada I'm sorry to hear that you've had similar experiences! It seems as if there are quite a few people with no empathy whatsoever out there. It's disheartening.

Mine is very minor in comparison to all of these, but it has stayed with me. My mum died at the end of 2015. I bumped into someone we both worked with in a shop about a week or so later, and let her know. Her response was "Oh I didn't really know her" Honestly, even if that's what you think, you don't say it to a grieving relative. A year later, and I still kind of want to punch her.

These are so painful to read to us all

My brother in law was a teacher and when I was 15 I went to stay with him and my sister for a week in the holidays. We saw one of his pupils one day and I (half joking) said I wouldn't mind his number. "He's way out of your league". Way to destroy a fragile teen's self esteem

My sister has said some shockers to me. When my boyfriend when I was a teenager died I apparently 'used it to get attention'. When i confided in her about my birth and how I was a bit upset that med students had turned up she said with great authority (she is a hcp) 'oh they are like vultures. You would have been a piece of meat to them'. She also told me 'i needed a psychologist' after a family drama and I told her (truthfully) that I had spent thousands on therapy, which happily shut her right up! She still tries to reel me back in with her nice side but I have very little to do with her now. Just too many nasty comments to forgive, family or not

God there are so many but I don't want to mention the cruel or spiteful ones. Let's just say I've been Wendied twice now and I'd be happy to go through the rest of my life without female friends. I've got my husband, my grown up kids and my sister and that's enough for me thank you very much!

However a past boyfriend once said to me "You're a big girl". Emphasis most definitely on the big. I was a size 6 at the time....... I mean, what the fuck?!

Oh yeah and my SIL (brothers wife) told me I'd "never get [this particular] job as I don't have a degree" We were going for the same job. Guess what? I got it, she never even got interviewed! Fuck you bitch!

Some people are just bastards aren't they?

Completely trivial compared to alot of these, I'm so sorry for the nasty things people have had to go through at the hands of others.

My brothers girlfriend, has a history of being a twat, completely out done herself at my cousins wedding, got pissed as a fart and ended up being banned from coming back into the building, well she manages to get in, her language was awful and it was infront of the kids, my husband asks her to tone it down which she doesn't like, so she mental and goes to assault him, in front of the kids, scared my kids to the point that dd1 was screaming in fear.

My brother thinks we should forget about it now and move on but it's not going to happen, we knew she'd kick off, he did too, so no way am I putting my kids in the position of ever having to witness behaviour like that again.

I genuinely feel like there is some sort of actual/biological disconnect between these people's brains and their mouths. I am horrified!

for you all

flippinada - you are right that words can do untold damage, absolutely - as seen on this thread. The phrase though was one I used a lot when I was at primary school. "Sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me". I sang it out to the groups of bullies who were calling me fat and ugly. It made me feel powerful. It was a defence. It was a way of saying that the insults can only upset me if I let them. (although they did hurt - for years)...

My wise teenage daughter sometimes tells me that "They can only hurt them if you let them - they don't matter - it doesn't matter what they think" when I am having trouble from someone at work.

So yes - you are completely right - and there are some horrible people around - but the phrase has resonance for me as I remember the six year old me standing defiant in the playground.

Cancelly you're right. In the colleagues case I've Curriehill) forgotten exactly what they said to me but how awful it made me feel.

BadKnee if it helped you feel better then good . I suppose I'm thinking more of the way in which people dismiss the hurt caused by "just words".

My ex when I was absolutely on my knees with hyperemesis and contemplating a termination "if you do it I'll tell everyone we know that you are a sick baby killer"

Same ex when I had a miscarriage (different pregnancy) "whew! We dodged that bullet"

My mum when i called her in tears because 2 of my dsc were vomiting (I am emetophobic) "oh four! Your worst nightmare! Ha ha ha! I'd love to see your face right now!

It even hurts to type those..

Nowhere near as bad as some of these, but this one has long stuck with me.

Our landlady had three houses to let in her enormous garden, and was charging us an extortionate rent (high rent area). They were a really wealthy couple but really tight. There were all sorts of problems with damp, and she used to let herself into the house while we were out but we stayed, we were there a few years.

We found out that we were unexpectedly pregnant with twins and needed to move into a bigger, less damp place. Money was really tight and we needed our whole deposit back (£1000). Struggling with morning sickness and exhaustion, I scrubbed that whole house til it shone. I was so proud of how we were leaving it. We dropped the keys off with a bottle of wine and wished them well.

A week or so later we got a cheque for £900 from them and an explanation that we'd left the kitchen sides 'sticky' so they were keeping £100 for cleaning fees

My heart still beats fast thinking about it now! They knew that we were pregnant and struggling, and they knew that we'd left that house spotless, and they were so well off, yet they were so bloody greedy that they needed to squeeze a last £100 off us. Awful people.

Let's just say I've been Wendied twice now and I'd be happy to go through the rest of my life without female friends. I've got my husband, my grown up kids and my sister and that's enough for me thank you very much

purplenurple I had to check the name , I could have written exactly that! I must either be a magnet for fake friends or just unlikeable

I was at primary school, aged about 7 or 8. It was morning break and there was a school tuck shop held in the hall on that day, so I went into the cloakroom to get my tuck shop money from my coat pocket.

Just as I got my own money out I was joined in the cloakroom by another girl who had come to get hers. She couldn't find her money so she immediately accused me of being a thief and then for days went around the school telling everyone that I had stolen her money (it later turned out that she had forgotten it that morning, but she never admitted that).

My real friends didn't believe her, for which I was very grateful. I look back now and realise what a spiteful little shit she was. I have never forgotten how that felt, and I don't find it forgivable to accuse anyone of anything like that without incontrovertible evidence.

A friend/work colleague turned against me for no apparent reason and went to great lengths to spread lies and rumours about me to fellow friends and workers.
I've moved on, it was years ago and it seems like she's had a dose of karma.

A month after I got married, dh and I were at another wedding and one of his ex work colleagues was there too. I got chatting to the ex colleague and he told me to ask my dh what he was doing on 3rd Nov. I asked why, and he said I should just ask my "loving" husband. (He did the air quotes thing).

I was fairly squiffy so this upset me. Someone dh used to work with was basically telling me that dh was cheating or up to no good. Dh said it was bullshit (and it was indeed bullshit) and others there told me that this guy has form for similar things because he thinks it's funny. I just remember feeling so upset that someone could be such a cunt to me, a newly married person he doesn't even know. What did I do to him?! He considered dh to be his mate as well.

Funny thing is, he had just applied for a job to work for dh at his new company. Even the week after this incident, he called dh and asked him if dh had looked at his application yet. Dh told him no, he hasn't. And he wouldn't be looking at it either. Ha. Prick.

When I was a teen I had a boyfriendof two years in the military who came home on weekends. I also had a Saturday job in the local supermarket.

He came in to the shop on a Saturday afternoon with a friend he'd invited home to stay, to say hello and arrange to go out later that evening.

Seems like he also bumped into my parents shopping that afternoon and mentioned it to me before leaving the shop.

I went home after my shift to get ready for my evening out. My parents were home and told me that as they approached the supermarket they came up behind my boyfriend and his mate, boyfriend was apparently pointing me out through the large window (I was a checkout operator) and saying I was the fat one, over there. Apparently his mate replied, "well not fat but just a bit tubby. "

I was absolutely devastated and didn't show up that night, went to bed and cried.

Boyfriend came round the next day to see me, and find out what was going on. I explained and his face was completely

My parents made the entire thing up. They admitted they thought it was hilarious.

Oh Bellona, that's so lovely what you did! Your stepdad is an ass. And what does he know anyway?! Just remember your Granny told you herself that she appreciated what you did and felt cared for. That's how she felt. Don't doubt it.

Cake, don't cringe. Hold you head up high. You did nothing wrong. They were cruel and abusive -- shameful behavior even for teens.

My narcissist adoptive 'mother 🙄)'told me my mother was a slut and I would be too.
She had this whole theory involving bad blood.