Hardly anyone is coming only hen do

[peroxidebrown]

I'm so upset. Have been organising my hen do for a while - well bridesmaid is doing the bulk but if invited people, not loads maybe a dozen close friends. Two bridesmaids have pulled out even though I went to theirs which were more extravagant saying they can't afford it. It's one night in the UK. Another friend today has pulled out. It's going to be about six of us in total and I now feel embarrassed about the whole thing.

I feel bad for you that your friends have cancelled, but honestly, hen parties absolutely blow

I would gladly never go to one ever again. Even my very best friend or my sister's.

Forced Fun is not fun.

MissVictoria I have been to several classy hen dos and no one cheated either. It's not always about going out to town and getting drunk. We have stayed in lovely lodges, hired out country houses etc

OP totally understand where you're coming from. It's not nice to have several people pull out, especially bridesmaids. Hope you have a lovely hen do though

I'd be annoyed too. But on the point about social media... when I see people posting loads from something I think they're not actually enjoying it that much! When I'm hashing a great time the last thing on my mind is taking pics for social media! You'll have a fab time!

Your bridesmaids have really let you down.

I'd much rather go with 6 than 20 though as I prefer smaller groups. Been to a few classy hen dos with 6 and 4 - both fantastic.

And Miss Victoria is trying to hard.

YANBU. I know exactly their sort - expect the world to revolve around them in the build up to their wedding but then can't be bothered to make the effort for other people. Yuk.

Tell them if they're so short of money, they can save some more by not attending the wedding either.

That's very, very mean of the bridesmaids. Not on, at all.
I would sack them too.

This is just bizarre!! Ditch the bridesmaids immediately. I think it's appalling they are not going. Despite the fact that one of my bridesmaids was in the early stages of pregnancy (I didn't know) and felt like shit, she made the supreme effort and came to my hen do - this involved flying in to London from the country where she lives. When she told me a couple of weeks later I was horrified but she wouldn't hear of it and insisted she made the right decision to travel... that's the kind of behaviour of a selfless bridesmaid!! I've been to loads of hen dos and I can't remember a single one where the bridesmaids weren't there. Money is a lame excuse... if that was an issue they should have factored it in to the initial planning.

YANBU. That's really disappointing for you they've pulled out. However, as others have said, a smaller group is not a bad thing! I had 6 (inc me) for my hen do and had a fantastic time. Smaller group is less chaotic and much easier to get around (if you're going from place to place), yet still really fun, and you get to spend time with everyone! I loved mine - I'm sure you'll still have a great time.

YADNBU. I hate hen dos (even my own) but as a bridesmaid I'd be there if you wanted me to be. They knew it was coming up so should have budgeted or prioritised better.

I had two at my hen do. Me and my sister.

No way was I wasting time and energy on organising a bunch of women who would all disagree on the date, the cost and what we did.

Instead my sis and I spent a fortune. We:

Went to London - first class train
3 nights in a suite at The Waldorf
Front row tickets for Matilda the musical
Dinner at The Ivy
A box at the Royal Opera House to see Swan Lake by the Bolshoi Baller
Afternoon Tea at The Ritz

We went everywhere by cab - drank and ate and had the best time.

YANBU, I hope you have a great night but, your friends are inconsiderate arses

I never go on hen do's. Just can't stand them. Don't feel bad about a small group, it's much easier to chat to everyone etc

As for your bridesmaids, they should be ashamed! I would have it out with them.

Wow colabottle, that sounds extravagant and fab, living the high life!

Could you go out with the 6 and then do another evening at yours with more? I had 7 of us in a spa for 1 day and night and then my mum hosted 12 or so at hers for dinner. That way they can't use money as an excuse!

Sorry you feel sad about it. I would too. Partly because bridesmaids pulled a dick move but your emotions are probably running high in the run up to the wedding.

Good luck

What are you planning for your hen do?
Must admit, they're not my cup of tea. I didn't want one but my friends insisted so we went for a curry and that was nice. I had a v small wedding with just immediate family and a party at home the next day which my friends were invited to.
Just focus on having a lovely time with a few friends. Posting pics on social media showing how many attractive friends you have really isn't important in the grand scheme of life.

Shit, OP. Sack them! Money is no excuse, they've known it's happening so they could've budgeted accordingly.

IT will give you a good excuse to find you can't afford to pay for their bridesmaid dresses!

I would feel the same, that's poor form from the bridesmaids.

Just go ahead with it and give it some serious welly Don't feel embarrassed, you've done nothing wrong, some people can't make it is all.

I do think it's shit of the bridesmaids to pull out tbh. You went to their hen dos, they even approved the venue for the night for god's sake.

All those saying they don't like hen dos, well I'm sorry but the bridesmaids just need to suck it up as they are there to support the bride and can surely hack it for one night.

And as for not being able to afford it, that's a nonsense surely? I mean if the venue is close by and in the UK there are minimal travelling costs. They don't have to drink alcohol and if the do is in a restaurant they could eat something beforehand and just order a starter or dessert when they are there.

I would also be really disappointed OP and would reassess these two as friends and bridesmaids tbh. I thought it was actually part of the bridesmaids' role to organise the hen do so these two are failing badly. It is not on for the bride to be left feeling embarrassed and miserable.

My hen do was 4 of us to a local spa then dinner with another 3 who couldn't make it to the day time. It was a fab day! One of my bridesmaids couldn't make it as she lived 200 miles away but you know what it was a lovely day with my closest friends.

Don't sack them! They've just had the balls to say what, seemingly, lots of people including the op think about hen nights; they're something expensive to endure and pretend you're enjoying to make your friend feel extra popular.

They're probably going to be good bridesmaids. No need to punish them for skipping a relatively unimportant part of the wedding.

It's awful of the bridesmaids to pull out. It does strike me on reading the thread that quite a few people (including the op) have said that they haven't really enjoyed hen dos but they put a smile on and bear it. It seems a bit pointless if people are just pretending to enjoy it. What's the point?

If your main worry is Facebook, ban it.

Just say you'd rather not have your hen do plastered all over it and ask everyone not to post any photos.

Sorted.

A few people pulled out of my hen do, one who is very close to me who had to pull out on the day because she was ill. My bridesmaids brought in some subs who I knew but not well. To be honest in the end quite a few of the people there were people my bridesmaids had invited to make up the numbers. When you read that it sounds like a right sad affair but it was an absolute riot. I'm sorry your friends have been rubbish, is it just a night out? You might find you have more fun with the ones who have committed to coming.