to not want dh keep taking ds to toddler classes?

[quinnlee]

i dont want him taking him to so many, i dont think its good for small children to have so much structure, he is only 3. will start nursery in jan as it is. currently does at least 2 classes a day. thinks like toddler gymnastics, toddler dance, toddler football, toddler etc. etc. he is a sahd and is really good with him, but isnt this something we get to decide together? i dont want all the income going on those classes, it seems like such a waste to me especially if its doing him no good (i dont think structured classes are good at such a young age like i said) aibu??

2 class s a day!!! YANBU. It must set you back a fortune

YABVU! It sounds like he's busy and active.

YABU.

The parent doing the parenting at that time gets to decide the activity, IMO.

Think yourself lucky he is getting to experience so much and isn't stuck at home! Unless he is getting tired or over stimulated and it's having a negative effect then why shouldn't he go?

Here was me thinking the 2 classes a week my DD goes to was maybe too much!

Maybe it's him that needs the structure?
I'm a SAHM to a 3 year old and an 18 month old. We do a lot of groups/activities. Quite frankly, it keeps me sane. DH is happy as long as we're happy.

Sounds good to me - lots of things to interest him and opportunities to develop new skills, meet other children and be active.

Classes and groups are great, but 2 a day is excessive. They need time for unstructured play.

Is your DH feeling lonely?
Does he lack confidence in entertaining DS?

Are they 'structured'? Not sure how much structure you can impose on toddlers chasing a ball around and so on. Is he paying for all these things, and are they expensive? And lastly, how would you feel if you were the one at home and he started saying 'I don't want you doing X with him'?

2 a day?! sounds bloody expensive for starters.
I have a 3 year old (a d a 5yo and a 4 month old) and yes the 3 year old needs to get out most days, but a toddler group or two in the week, plus two actual classes seems plenty! In fact I was going to drop one of the toddler groups. When does he find the time to just go to the park, mooch at home, go to a friend a house?

ds seems to enjoy it and i think it has helped him to be more social, but i am paying for these and it is a lot! i mean we can afford it but i dont know why he cant just take him to the park or something and let ds actually have to think of things to do?

the classes are only 45 mins so still lots of the day left but i just think its all a bit much

They need time for unstructured play

My children get to at 6am, bed at 7am. 2 groups a day at 1.5 hours each still leaves a lot of time for parks, mooching at home and unstructured play. We're usually all climbing the walls by 9am.

oops under the wrong name lol

Bed at 7pm, obvs.

Well what does DH say when you tell him he will have to cut back because you cannot afford it and think it's too much?

I wonder if he finds parenting hard and having all these classes, which does sound excessive to me, helps him because he can sit back a bit?

I don't think you can dictate how they spend their time (I don't think the classes do any harm, they sounds fun and kids love fun) but you can have a conversation about the money if that's a concern. I discuss with dh what classes I'm signing the dc up to and we decide together if we can afford it and if they represent value for money.

45 mins each so only an hour and a half out of what? 12 hours? That leaves a lot of time to keep a toddler entertained.

Sounds like way too much to me. Your DS needs time to rest, to be bored, and to learn how to amuse himself. Even if he enjoys them all, it's still a lot of classes to be going to so young. Parent and Toddler groups are different, as he would get to entertain himself there, but structured classes not so much.

Generally I think the parent at home should decide roughly how to fill the day, but I think that number of classes, plus the expense, sounds over the top and you're well within your rights to slow the pace a bit.

If you can't afford it then I think it's reasonable to cut back.

I'm really glad DH doesn't dictate to me how I should spend my days with the children.

If it's to do with money YANBU but im a SAHM and although I don't go to classes (unreliable nap times ) we go out every day and do activities . Perhaps as other people have said your OH wants the adult company. I certainly do!

2 outings a day for a lively child is fine. Mine are like big labradors who need two walks a day or they get cabin fever and go a bit berserk. Doesn't need to be formal classes though. Toddlers are interested in just about everything so we'd typically do one child centred activity and something more mundane (but out of the house) each day.
There were loads of free sessions a week (sure start, libraries etc) a couple of years ago. That might have changed but if not, could save you money.

he is with dc for a few of those classes, apart from the dance one, where he doe sthe food shopping, but i feel like he should be taking ds foodshopping with him things like that etc

Sounds like your DH needs to be doing things all the time. Does it make him feel useful? Is he scared that he's not doing a "proper job" without all these classes? Watch out come January as he may struggle when your DC is in nursery. It seems to me like it's time for a chat about if he is happy at home.

Could you suggest less structured (and expensive) classes and more toddler groups that focus on kids playing and parents drinking coffee? Churches often run them for little to no entry fee. Maybe look some up for him?