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AIBU?

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Original poster

Would you try someone else's wedding dress on?

213 replies

WinterIsHereJon · 16/12/2016 07:35

I'm getting married next year. Bought my dress a couple of months ago, and it's been living at my mums house away from where DP could see it. I was talking to my gran last night, who accidentally let slip that when she last came to visit both my mum and my sister tried my dress on for fun. I'm really upset and angry; it's supposed to be special but sort of feels less so now somehow. My mum and I have now fallen out as it was "just a bit of fun". I can't believe they would think it was ok! AIBU or overreacting?

OP posts:
Mrsglitterfairy · 16/12/2016 18:30

I would have been pissed off at that. When DH bought my engagement ring, he left it at his mums and I found out that his mum, sisters and nephew had all had a try on! Fuming Angry

SantasJockstrap · 16/12/2016 18:32

I would go MENTAL if someone tried my wedding dress on.

crazycatzz · 16/12/2016 18:55

It is just a dress for a wedding that lasts a day. It's got no baring on the marriage and not worth falling out over with your family.
Now if your mum had worn it whilst having sex with your dad then yes I could understand you being a bit pissed off.

Both my dd's have tried on mine actually and it was my idea so that's how not bothered I am about it.

TaraCarter · 16/12/2016 19:32

crazy, are you normally okay with your daughters secretly trying on expensive special occasion clothes that you haven't had a chance to wear yet?

SouthWindsWesterly · 16/12/2016 20:14

It's not just a dress. It's a fucking expensive dress that has some major emotional and symbolic meaning for the OP. That much is obvious.

Your mum and sister are twats. And I think your gran didn't just let it slip. She probably is thinking the same way as well.

Get your dress, avoid your mum and sister for a while to let heads cool and as it is a significant dress for you, see if you can change it.

UnbornMortificado · 16/12/2016 20:18

I let DS try mine on big mistake.

She's 16 stunning and looked much better then I did in it

hellinabreadbasket · 16/12/2016 20:51

You are so not bu! I'd say it's not so much about it being "special" (though of course it is), about the fact that you don't want it to get stretched, caught on something or any of the things it could befall it! I was cautious about trying on my wedding dress prior to the wedding because of these things

SparkleMotions · 16/12/2016 21:03

I'd be pretty pissed off too, it's your wedding dress, it's not something for them to play bloody dress up in! They were completely out of order and extremely disrespectful. They owe you an apology OP!

kerryob · 16/12/2016 21:08

YNBU I would have been fuming sorry it's disrespectful, you trusted it into your mums safe keeping and she took the piss!

I would have bought a new dress if my mother & sister had worn it before my wedding. It's just bloody rude! I feel angry on your behalf! Angry

SeraOfeliaFalfurrias · 16/12/2016 21:10

YANBU to feel upset, OP. When I got married I went for a fitting with my dressmaker and she casually told me that SIL had tried my dress on the last time she's been there for her bridesmaid dress fitting. I couldn't believe my ears! I didn't say anything; there didn't seem much point after the fact and it was in a different country where I struggled a bit with the language. But I was so upset about it. I felt that some of the special-ness of my dress had been lost by it being treated as a dress-up item for someone else's amusement. I was astounded that a) SIL had even asked (she's normally so lovely) and b) the dressmaker let her.

As an aside, my dressmaker also changed the neckline of SIL's bridesmaid dress when she asked her to. Which I wouldn't have minded if they had discussed it with me, it looked better and I probably would have got the the other bridesmaids' dressed altered to match. But apparently neither of them thought to run it by me so instead I had one odd-one-out bridesmaid!

SparkleMotions · 16/12/2016 21:15

sera
That was pretty crappy of your SIL trying it on behind your back and the dressmaker was very unprofessional to let her do so. I hope you had words with both of them?!

Darthvadersmuuuum · 16/12/2016 21:17

If it was just a joke and they thought you wouldn't mind, they would have told you about it themselves!

YANBU

Patriciathestripper1 · 16/12/2016 21:22

ShockShockShock wtf!! That's your special dress! What the flip were they thinking??
I'd be furious. Op I am so annoyed for you. Is it too late to get s different dress? Would your budget allow it? I really feel for you😳

lht22 · 16/12/2016 21:22

YANBU! I would be really annoyed with that.
When my husband proposed, my mother in law asked me for a proper look at my engagement ring (she meant take it off and pass it to her) then proceeded to put it on her own ring finger and admire it! Made me cringe and I was a bit pissed off, weirdo!

ButterscupsRevenge · 16/12/2016 21:28

What would even possess you to do that?!?

If you had been there or you were close and they had asked you fair enough, imagine if they had damaged it or mucked it. Too right be upset, can you keep it elsewhere?

BillyNotQuiteNoMates · 16/12/2016 21:35

YANBU
And while I can, just about, understand a sisters desire to see herself in the dress, why would you want to try your daughters wedding dress on?? That's just weird, imho

INeedNewShoes · 16/12/2016 21:41

What weird behaviour!

YANBU!

flirtybird · 16/12/2016 21:43

I have my daughters wedding dress hanging up in my spare bedroom. She is getting married in sept and there is no way I would try on her dress. It is beautiful but it is her dress. I don't think you are being unreasonable at all. They should not have done it.

ToadsforJustice · 16/12/2016 21:53

I would burn the dress, then make them buy you a new one and un-invite them from your wedding. Bitches.

notrocketscience · 16/12/2016 21:53

It's disrespectful behaviour and made worse because it feels conspiratorial against you. These women should be totally supportive of you and it almost smacks of jealousy. Your sister, I can almost understand the temptation but not your Mum. It's weird.
Is there anyway you can change the dress? I think I'd be saying to future DH, let's not have the big wedding but let's use all the money and elope somewhere exotic, just the 2 of you and stuff everybody else.

isitginoclock · 16/12/2016 21:56

It's a dress. Get over yourself.

JakeBallardswife · 16/12/2016 21:56

I can appreciate how annoyed you were but now they know you are annoyed can you sit and discuss it and not fall out?

chelle87 · 16/12/2016 22:01

Omg I'd be so pissed off. My mum wouldn't even let my sis see mine never mind out it on. They aren't exactly cheap everyday dresses are they. YaNBu at all!

SailingThroughTime · 16/12/2016 22:01

I'd be pissed off if someone used anyyhing expensive of mine without permission especially ifcthere was a fair chance that they'd damage it (it's so easy to get make up onnlight clothes). The fact that it's a wedding dress wouldn't make a difference as I don't buy into woo or understand the fuss about surface wedding stuff.

TiggyD · 16/12/2016 22:07

No I wouldn't.

But I would look fabulous.