To stop sending money to ungrateful brats???

[ThePeoplesChamp]

Every year I've sent Christmas money to my neices and nephews. Last 2 years I've reduced this slightly as it was costing me a fortune at the £ per kid. Close to £400 just on this part of Chistmas.

There is a view that because I work and the parents dont, and that I dont have kids that I am 'posh' ...... and, as such should be simply thrilled at handing over the money.

But heres the rub, in the 10+ years I've been doing this I've yet to receive so much as a thank you or even a Christmas card in return. And - its almost become a 'demand' - I remember one night having to leave a (pre)Christmas meal out to dash out to give my DB the money as 'the kids would like it early so they can buy what theyd like' he literally rang and rang and rang until I left the restaurant to stroppily hand over £100 for his kids.

I've been with DH 4 years and half of the nieces and neplhews have ever met him, such is their lack of interest at seeing us unless its to collect ££.

WIBU to just stay at home with DH, leave the ££ in the bank and sod the lot of them?

[woodhill]

Don't they get you anything in return?

Blow that for a game of soldiers.

[Crazycatladyloz82]

please stop. you are being played for a fool. DH does the same, it annoys me no end. He has never had a thank you, hasn't seen them in years and couldn't point them out a line up. His DB has never even acknowledged our DDs existence with a text, card, present, phone call nothing but the one time the cash and card to his niece was 1 day late BIL got on the phone to MIL asking what was going on and what DH was playing at. I need to show DH this thread to hopefully get him to see sense!

[Rainydayspending]

Fuck no i like the selection box idea. Maybe socks?

[Badcat666]

I've been in the same position. I always got gifts and cards for my nephews and nieces and never got a thank you or even a card. So I just stopped it one year. Saved me a bloody fortune!

Either your brother is keeping the money and not handing it over to the kids or they are all a bunch of ungrateful little gits.

Just keep the money for yourself and have a lovely chrimbo!!

[PomBearWithAnOFRS]

Could your brother be using your money to buy his present for his children. Your nieces and nephews might not even know you send it...

[EssentialHummus]

Fuck no. No "thank you", no gifts. Send a card.

[laurenandsophie]

I agree with Pom, I reckon your DB is using it to buy stuff himself.

[SleepFreeZone]

Fuck that 😦

I bet you anything they are counting on you leaving them all your money in your will if you have no children of your own. You should make them think it's likely and then ensure it all goes to a donkey sanctuary 😋

[ThePeoplesChamp]

Thank you ALL. Thank you thank you THANK YOU!!

I felt bad as really its not the kids faults theyve been raised with such awful manners, but I really am just at my bloody limit.

I'm lying about never receiving anything - one year I received a half drank bottle of plonk as the mother had drank my original gift!!!!! ..not sure whether 'original gift' was a lie or if its even more cheeky to hand over the half drank bottle :-S

[hollabackgirl]

The parents don't work at all? Is there a valid reason?

Absolutely stop, can't blame the children really, blame the parents with no manners.

[Starlight2345]

I also wondered if kids know you send money.. The kids would only write thank you letters if told to.. yes I would stop ...

[Fi61wales]

Selection boxes!

[SVJAA]

How rude! No YANBU at all!

[MrsBlennerhassett]

YANBU! i dont ever send thankyou notes or make my son, but i do let people know ive recieved the gift and thank them by text or email. I do send cards to everyone who sends anything to me at the very least and if they are close but not immediate relatives who buy something for my child i get them wine or chocolates. And we have very little income.
£100 is a very large amount to be spending on children who arent yours or even your grandchildren!

[ThePeoplesChamp]

DH is literally cackling with joy shrieking 'MUMSNET has spoken' :D

[RebelRogue]

YANBU. However it sounds like the parents are the issue here rather than the kids.

[Nicpem1982]

I didn't think of that.....

Could your brother be using your gift to fund his children's presents from him?

[Cagliostro]

YANBU

[Liiinoo]

I would stop sending the money but please don't blame the children. If their parents haven't taught/nagged them into receiving gifts graciously, it is the parents who are to blame not the the kids.

It seems sad that you have no relationship with them and they haven't met your DH. Would it be appropriate to invite them all to a meal at the local Nando's/Harvester/your house this year in leiu of a gift? For all you know, some of them could be lovely.

[kerryob]

YANBU wtf half a bottle of plonk what a piss take! Go spend the money on yourself and DH

[Pigeonpair1]

Have to say, my first thought was that your DB was using the money and maybe the kids never even got it! Seems strange that he was so desperate for it.......

[ThePeoplesChamp]

Sorry to read I'm not the only one in this situation ...

To answer a couple of points. ...

Unfortunately the ££ does go to the kids.... DB is very 'entitled parent' and feels his kids deserve the earh.

Why not working - see above, DB simply must be on hand to look after them. Not so much PFB as PF - AllBorn

I also get messages a few days before Birthdays. Literally hear nothing alll year, and then 'just to let you know its XX's birthday on Thurs, he just wants money' one year I did ignore and subsequently suffered a lot of tagging in every single birthday party pic

[Kittenrush]

I'm going to get stick for this I can feel it now, but I am genuinely curious as to why you're on mumsnet if you don't have children? Am I being a terrible cynical shit?

[RudolphTheRedNoseReindeer]

You are absolutely^^ not being unreasonable! You've never even had so much as a phone call (to thank you obviously...we know they're happy to phone to demand the money).
Keep the ££ in your account and enjoy a lovely Christmas with your husband and spend it on the people who earned it...in other words, you and your husband.
Ungrateful, entitled, demanding and just plain rude. They deserve nor are entitled to any of your hard earned money.

[Champagneformyrealfriends]

Kitten yes you are. The boards are used a lot by people without children.