To stop sending money to ungrateful brats???

[ThePeoplesChamp]

Every year I've sent Christmas money to my neices and nephews. Last 2 years I've reduced this slightly as it was costing me a fortune at the £ per kid. Close to £400 just on this part of Chistmas.

There is a view that because I work and the parents dont, and that I dont have kids that I am 'posh' ...... and, as such should be simply thrilled at handing over the money.

But heres the rub, in the 10+ years I've been doing this I've yet to receive so much as a thank you or even a Christmas card in return. And - its almost become a 'demand' - I remember one night having to leave a (pre)Christmas meal out to dash out to give my DB the money as 'the kids would like it early so they can buy what theyd like' he literally rang and rang and rang until I left the restaurant to stroppily hand over £100 for his kids.

I've been with DH 4 years and half of the nieces and neplhews have ever met him, such is their lack of interest at seeing us unless its to collect ££.

WIBU to just stay at home with DH, leave the ££ in the bank and sod the lot of them?

[PaulDacresConscience]

Bigredfireengine - I interpreted that as a bit of tongue in cheek humour from the OP. I don't think it was meant as a slur against her sibs. But in fairness if the only time my lot came out of the woodwork, was to demand I drive my annual cash deposits to them, then I'd be judging them like hell.

[ThePeoplesChamp]

Bigred, I'm being fecatious as the whole thread has quite a humourous tone.

But 4 kids and 0 jobs is really quite irresponsible if you are looking for a serious opinion

[Splashingincuddles]

Ooh this piddles me right off. One Christmas morning we got a phone call as DH's niece hadn't received a Christmas present - it was wrapped under the tree and I'd just missed it when putting all of DH's family's gifts in a bag. I couldn't believe that the adults there on Christmas morning hadn't said 'no, you will not phone them, you do not assume that you get a gift'. As children we had to keep all tags, write the present on each one then send thank you letters. Basic courtesy. Stop sending money OP.

[ThePeoplesChamp]

...... fixating on this half drank bottle of plonk. I could prob send each poster on hear a bottle of unopened plonk for what I've shelled out... and still have a little pile of lovely gin / wine / crikey.... ANYTHING for when bump making is done

[DeepanKrispanEven]

Goodness, if my brother had started pestering me like that I would have told him I'd already bought his kids their present. And gone out and bought them something worthy but boring. But I agree that this year you're entirely justified in calling a halt.

[MsAdorabelleDearheartVonLipwig]

The money that you would have sent could be put aside for when your baby comes. Much better use for it.

[HorridHenryrule]

Just get them a present each with a card and watch their faces drop. Make it a quick drop and go or use royal mail to deliver it. Don't give them no more money if they are going to be ungrateful.

[Gooseygoosey12345]

I actually don't know how you haven't lost your rag with him. I'd have told him where to go a long time ago! Please don't send anything this year, put it away for your LO to compensate for all the presents he/she won't receive from your siblings!

[NoncommittalToSparkleMotion]

Holy hell no! Stand your ground, save your money, have a merry Christmas. And congrats on the bump!

How can people with multiple children not work? How do they feed them? Just once at Christmas?

[Cherrysoup]

I stopped. I was sick of not even getting a FB message telling me the cash had arrived, having changed into their country's currency, spending more than I wanted to ensure they had the same exactly, same notes, everything. It's just rude. You should stop!

[Weedsnseeds1]

Book on etiquette. Section on thank you notes illuminated in fluorescent highlighter pen. Beautifully wrapped and addressed to the lot of them.

[icy121]

to get yourself to Snappy Snaps and have your scan photo made into a selection of mugs, mouse mats, key rings and other grim tat with the caption 'World's #1 big cousin!!!!' In comic sans. Yellow comic sans . Then do the shiny eyed PFB at them and say you have tried to set up a bank account for their Christmas donations to your child but they won't let you until they are born so you'll take cash this year and then supply the bank details in time for next year so they can just do an online transfer to save time

[grandmainmypocket]

Op I'm in shock. Ugh how and why would you give anything to ungrateful sods. Regardless of who they are.

[dowhatnow]

YABU

For not stopping sooner.

[LiviaDrusillaAugusta]

I stopped buying a present for a relative's child when she opened my present to her, glanced at it and threw it on the floor - she was 10!

[Queenie2004]

I wouldn't give to them, you sound like a lovely aunt and they sound horrid but that's also due to the parents. I would suggest that you use the money you would usually spend to book a nice little weekend away. Therefore you ensure you and your DP are not present during that time. I would also suggest you turn your phone to do not disturb therefore stopping calls coming through. Just send them some cards NO MONEY

[Ohyesiam]

I stopped getting my nephew presents when I never even heard if he received them. I love my sister, but she can lack the basics at times.

[hotdiggedy]

Sorry, only read the first and last page but are you certain the children actually receive the money? I ask because when I was younger relatives would send us christmas money but we never actually received it as my dad would just keep it. We rarely saw one set of the relatives and the others we never saw at all. I remember one year when i was older that I actually begged the ones we saw occasionally to please send us a gift instead because we never got the money but they didnt believe us and said he must be putting it into the bank for us.

[RainbowJack]

I'm expecting

ThePeoplesChamp Ha! Are you taking odds on if your generosity will be reciprocated?

[Wdigin2this]

What a bloody cheek, they're obviously only interested in you for the £££. So maybe just give them a quarter of the normal amount this year, half that next year....,then be unavailable for future years!

[ThePeoplesChamp]

Fraid so Hotdiggedy, DB is intensely entitled when it comes to his kids. One year I bought them a really sought after gift (like Hatchimals today) and he complained I hadnt gotten it from a specific store rather than online, as they have a preferred store ... I think it was this that prompted the switch to cash

... and sorry to hear about what happened to you :(

[ColdCottage]

I wouldn't give the money. Pay you are planning to take them out for the day instead and do something you (and BF if you think he will like it too) and they will enjoy together. Make memories and bond.

If they don't want to come then you have saved yourself the money.

[ThePeoplesChamp]

the replies here are cracking me up. DH has nodded off satisfied that he's been 'right all along' (and possibly dreaming of the powertools he will still not be allowedto buy, and I am here gleefully thinking of the rukus that will ensue..... and possibly of high end makeup I shouldnt really buy instead!

[hotdiggedy]

preferred store???

Yes, save your pennies!

[Milliways]

If you do decide to go down the charity route, please consider my favourite charity and Twin their Toilet - it raises a laugh and you get a really good framed photo to remember the gift every time you visit your own loo. Tell them they have "spent all the pennies" now :)