To stop sending money to ungrateful brats???

[ThePeoplesChamp]

Every year I've sent Christmas money to my neices and nephews. Last 2 years I've reduced this slightly as it was costing me a fortune at the £ per kid. Close to £400 just on this part of Chistmas.

There is a view that because I work and the parents dont, and that I dont have kids that I am 'posh' ...... and, as such should be simply thrilled at handing over the money.

But heres the rub, in the 10+ years I've been doing this I've yet to receive so much as a thank you or even a Christmas card in return. And - its almost become a 'demand' - I remember one night having to leave a (pre)Christmas meal out to dash out to give my DB the money as 'the kids would like it early so they can buy what theyd like' he literally rang and rang and rang until I left the restaurant to stroppily hand over £100 for his kids.

I've been with DH 4 years and half of the nieces and neplhews have ever met him, such is their lack of interest at seeing us unless its to collect ££.

WIBU to just stay at home with DH, leave the ££ in the bank and sod the lot of them?

[RubyRoseViolet]

Poor you op! It sounds like you've been through the mill! Thanks for your post, it gave me the impetus to stop giving money to my own nephew who literally never sends any form of acknowledgement/thank you. You did the right thing. Hope the fall out isn't too dreadful and that you get well soon!

[mysistersimone]

I am glad you aren't sending them anything, keep the money for your child and if the brothers have the audacity to say a word of complaint just smile, tilt head, say "yes, kids are so expensive as I am learning already. My baby will be so grateful for his/her cash gifts from their Uncle" tinkly laugh

[mysistersimone]

Get well soon, hope you are out of hospital soon

[ChocoChou]

Place marking for the fallout!

OP you are definitely doing the right thing by stopping being the cash cow.

Enjoy your Christmas

[SestraClone]

Eek, hope you are not in pain now! Well done in making a stand against your grabby siblings.

[Wrinklesandspotstoo]

Looking forward to the updates! I've had nieces nephews and siblings just the same! I don't really bother anymore and although I felt guilty at first I sure as heck don't now! When other relatives ask what I'm buying for such and such I say same as they get me!

[TeenyW123]

moany old woman

I think you mean moany old man!

[Milklollies]

Once again placemarking eagerly awaiting the results! OP by the way you have nothing to worry about

[WhatchaMaCalllit]

Any update OP?

[ThePeoplesChamp]

Hello all you lot.... hope you have all had a great time..... but all the 'MiL' and 'Crap present' and 'ungrateful guests' posts suggest it may have been strained for some of us.

Do you know....I held firm. Gave my Dad a gift - he still buys me a gift and in recent years because DB's can't be arsed to drive over to even see me to collect the money has become the 'drop off point' for all the £££ so they can just collect their haul conveniently. Just breezily said 'sorry no envelopes of cash for the kids this year, my earnings are dropping by 80% in the next month or 2, I need to save' Dad was ok-ish.

Absolute silence from DB's and kids..... but, when people behave so rudely anyway and wouldnt have contacted me if I HAD sent the usual £££ it's hard for me to know or care if they are annoyed or are still just rude Was sending a few 'have you had a nice time' messages to pals on facebook last night and noticed one DB was online, LEAPT off in fear of a 'why havent you sent the kids money' 'youve changed' themed stroppy message.

So today - curled upon the sofa scoffing a box of shortbread with my little dog and making a list of things to buy for my hospital bag for the birth. .... in a way DB's have almost contributed. Alls well that ends well.

Thanks MN'ers for making me see sense and saving me a good few hundred quid

[Soubriquet]

Ah well done OP

Keep your feet up and enjoy relaxing for a few days

[ThePeoplesChamp]

If this thread still exists by the time the 'outrage' and 'indignation' works it's way back to me with the expected strains of how 'stuck up' I am (and it will) ... I'll update with the highlights

[Cagliostro]

Excellent! Well done :o

[Groovee]

I reckon it will be simmering and blow up at some point. Look forward to hearing what your brother does.

[LegoCaltrops]

Good on you! Perhaps your dad mentioned the reason for the lack of gifts this year, & family have realised (or been made to see) that any attempt to chase gifts would be excessively grabby & probably jeopardise their chances for future years... Possibly clutching at straws there but you never know.

[LagunaBubbles]

Good for you OP! There is zero reason to feel bad.

[ThePeoplesChamp]

Thanks all - after all the 'dont you dare send more £££ replies' I dont feel a bit bad, and really worried I would.

LegoCaltrops I heavily suspect there is disappointment that I am preganant and god willing will have someone of my own to spend all my 'pots and pots and pots' of money on (Lordy! I wish! eyes feeble bank balance) and bequeath my 'massive' mortgage fortune to. Also there will be worry that as I am only DD DGF will favour new DGC ..... really not an issue and not one I'd accept as it'd be overbearing, but this is the level of ££paranoia that exists in the family.... glad to be on the periphary truth be told.

[dowhatnow]

Something will be said at some point. Hopefully just a sarcastic remark rather than anything heavier, but the error of your ways will be pointed out sooner or later.

[ThePeoplesChamp]

.... as sure as the sun will set tonight, and bad / nasty news always seems to find its way home.

...will meditate daily on giving less f*cks

[user1471545174]

Good work OP and DH

[Lndnmummy]

Well done OP for sticking to your guns. You see, no one will change but you. I know it is a cliche but true non the less. Well done and put your feet up! No i guessbut have some

[brasty]

I send my niece and nephews money every birthday and Christmas and never get any acknowledgement at all. I did say once to my sister, and she looked grumpy, but the next year I got thank you notes from the kids. That was the only time. I have decided to stop when they all reach 18.

[OzzieFem]

Well done OP. Wishing you a Happy & Properous New Year.

[ThePeoplesChamp]

Just a quick one to wish everyone a cracking New Year. Still a wall of silence from DB's and brats children. I'll leave you all in peace and...if this thread is still around update with what I receive on little mans birth

and good fortune to you all in 2017.

[mysistersimone]

Happy New Year, I hope you have a smooth labour and a healthy bouncing baby. And big fat yay to returning for any possible updates. You are my kind if OP