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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Short men

296 replies

luellami · 11/12/2016 15:41

I have been dating same guy for about 5 months. He is lovely and really caring...I couldn't ask for more. Only thing is...he is short. Same height as me...I'm 5'6". I thought I would get over it but I can't...am I being a twat? I'm thinking of ending it as it's just not fair on him. He really deserves better.

OP posts:

Amandahugandkisses · 11/12/2016 15:42

I couldn't but it's a deal breaker for me. That's why I don't meet them because even if they're nice I have to let them down.

Pointeshoes · 11/12/2016 15:44

If you really liked him you wouldn't care how tall he is

bloodymaria · 11/12/2016 15:45

He really deserves better.

Yep.

IDismyname · 11/12/2016 15:45

Hmmm... IMHO, short men always have ishoos... Difficult to put my finger on, but certainly are a bit more aggressive and prone to chips on their shoulder types.
As I said - only my opinion!

Doje · 11/12/2016 15:46

Get over it. I though the same as Aman but then met my (now) DH. It doesn't matter how tall he is. He's lovely, and that does matter. If gos height bothers you, he's not the right man for you.

Wallywobbles · 11/12/2016 15:47

I'm 5'3 and a half, DP is 5'4. Im the luckiest woman alive. It's the inside that makes you happy not the outside.

Doje · 11/12/2016 15:47

gos = his.

Bluntness100 · 11/12/2016 15:48

Of course you need to end it. He's not going to be able to change his height and if you can't get over it it's the end of the road.

However I'd not tell him that's the reason. I know honesty is best, but it'll just make him feel shit about himself.

I'd also not recommend dating any other short men if I was you.

VivienneWestwoodsKnickers · 11/12/2016 15:50

Either get over it or finish the relationship if it's that big a deal.

I'm 5'9", my fiancé is 5'6". I stopped wearing my heels when we got together, and that was that.

Is it a deal breaker for you, OP?

I8toys · 11/12/2016 15:51

You knew how tall he was when you started dating him and you carried on for 5 months? - he's not going to grow!

Original poster

luellami · 11/12/2016 15:52

It's not a deal breaker but I can't get over it. I don't know what is wrong with me. I know that I will never find someone like him as he is just so kind and caring. Maybe bc I have always been surrounded by very tall men?? DB, DD, DG?? All over 6'2

OP posts:

JoeyJoeJoeJuniorShabadu · 11/12/2016 15:53

Yeah he does deserve better.
you can't be that into him anyway if his height is so troublesome.
cut him loose and let him find someone who loves him as he is.

this is exactly the same as a man rejecting a woman because she has small boobs, by the way.
its no different at all.

DeepFriedCamembert · 11/12/2016 15:54

It would be a deal breaker for me too. I just don't find short men attractive.

VivienneWestwoodsKnickers · 11/12/2016 15:55

If you can't get over it, it is a deal breaker. And agree with the PP they is no different to a man rejecting a woman based on her boob size, hair colour etc. You knew he was this tall when you met, so you need to come to terms with it or make your decision.

Suburbopolis · 11/12/2016 15:55

Can i have him?
I've been out with two guys in the last fortnight and both have raised my hopes a bit and then given me various versions of the no thank you speech. so fed up.

I8toys · 11/12/2016 15:56

I don't find short men or very tall men attractive so wouldn't even date them in the first place.

Amandahugandkisses · 11/12/2016 15:57

If you have small boobs you can always have them augmented. If you're overweight you can diet. You're either tall or not it's a tricky one that's why you need to be clear from the start of dating.

Ladygrinings0ul · 11/12/2016 15:57

I don't do short at all so I wouldn't of even gone on a first date. It's been six months for you so you must like him ?

RestlessTraveller · 11/12/2016 15:58

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Suburbopolis · 11/12/2016 15:58

One of them was 5'7" and I thought we were a really good fit. Humour-wise. Really hit it off and then i got a message from him to cancel our second date to tell me that he'd met somebody he preferred since our date! The next one, he was six foot and he seemed so keen on our first date, asked me to take myself off Pof. Then after second date told me he wasn't in a good place, had stuff to sort out, didn't want to waste my time etc...........

But then I felt chemistry with the first one especiallly. If there's no chemistry you can't pull it out of a hat. I think I could be friends with the second one.

Original poster

luellami · 11/12/2016 15:59

I do like him a lot. I have never been on a date with a short guy...he said his height was 5'8" on his profile!!! Which is still short but okay

OP posts:

cbigs · 11/12/2016 16:00

Thing is op if you can't get over it it is a deal breaker and I feel for you actually because if it's just not right for whatever reason it's just not right... if you will always be thinking I wish you were taller I'll thy be a problem? It's not about him deserving better but if it's playing on your mind he's probably just not quite right for you. I've dated lovely guys who just were not quite right and now I'm engaged I was right to wait because when it is all there you know. Imho

Joinourclub · 11/12/2016 16:00

I really don't see the problem with a man the same height as you. Unless you want to be all 'ickle' next to your 'big hunk'. And the short man syndrome is bollocks. All the properly short men I know are brilliant.

Original poster

luellami · 11/12/2016 16:01

Thanks cbigs I think you are right x

OP posts:

TheSnorkMaidenReturns · 11/12/2016 16:03

Of course he deserves better than someone who judges on his height.

And as for ishouldcocoa 'short men always have ishoos' - get a grip. Perhaps those 'ishoos' are all in the eye of the beholder who is assuming they must be there. Have you any idea how nasty it sounds? It's not my experience at all. My experience is that height has no bearing on being arrogant, aggressive or having a chip on the shoulder. In my view you are projecting your judgement.

OP, you would be 'a twat' if you tell him you are ending it because he is short. But at least you would reveal what a shallow person you are.

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