Short men

[luellami]

I have been dating same guy for about 5 months. He is lovely and really caring...I couldn't ask for more. Only thing is...he is short. Same height as me...I'm 5'6". I thought I would get over it but I can't...am I being a twat? I'm thinking of ending it as it's just not fair on him. He really deserves better.

YABU

First because most people tell you that you are being a twat and you ignore them. CBigs sells you the idea that this issue is a shame and poor you for having to deal with it, and you are all over that.

And second, because it is not like you have dated him a few weeks. It has been six months! You knew what you were getting into the moment you met him. Everyone has their 'preferences' and you would have known yours before this started. You can kid yourself that you didn't if you like! Plenty of people meet once or times and know the person is not attractive to them for some reason or another (too fat, too bald, not tall enough), but they don't carry it on. You have led him on. So, agreeing with your original point before your ego was stroked, do HIM a favour and end it. HE deserves someone better.

Oh, and third, because anyone who bases their preferences on looks in such a superficial way, is an ass.

As already pointed out, if you really liked him his height wouldn't bother you. So best do the decent thing and split up with him.

My DH is 5'7'' and I'm 5'9''. I would like it if he was taller but it's not a biggie!

You love him for his personality, not his height but if it still really bothers you then maybe this relationship is wrong for you.

If he was 7" taller but not such a nice person would you stay with him? Not liking his height is a bit shallow but we all have our preferences.

I'm 5'1", my dear late husband was 5'11" (and a lovely person) and his elder brother is 6'1" (with the right hair and expensive clothes) but a complete twat. I know who I was better off with and it wasn't Mr Tall.

Why date him for 6 months before deciding he is too short? It would be painful for me to have things end at the point where you were just really getting to know the other person, and a long term relationship beginning to seem feasible.

Be kind.

No! You're not awful, BU, or a twat!

You just don't like him enough to see past his height (sorry, for that smile] )

That's all! You have every right to feel as you do. Ignore anyone who tells you you are shallow, a twat or anything else. You just don't fancy him enough for him to be the one .

Let him down nicely. Say thanks but bye! That's it. No problem!

Oh, and third, because anyone who bases their preferences on looks in such a superficial way, is an ass.

That's ridiculous. You have to have an instant attraction with someone. I don't believe people don't base their relationships on looks at all. Surely that's natural?!

But I agree with you wrt how long it's been- if you know you're not attracted to shorter guys, you know that. Doesn't take 6 months to realise

Holy Shit! How did I miss the 6 months thing?

OP YOU SIMPLY MUST MARRY HIM! Anything else would be cruel. You have led him on and now you must pay!

Pillocks

I'm short but then again so is my wife, she's taller than me by a centimetre We are both around five foot five.

My height or her height has never been an issue, it's not like it can be helped. She also wears heels and I guess to others it can look a bit weird but we don't give a shit. Even if I was taller than her I'd still struggle to lift my arms above my head etc due to a disability.

I have mostly dated tall men - DH is 6'3". For a while I had a boyfriend who was just a couple of inches or so taller than me (I'm 5'4") & he did feel a bit small in comparison, but it was fine - we had fun while it lasted & his height had nothing to do with why we split up he was terrible in bed

I don't think I'd be initially attracted to someone shorter than myself, but if I got to know them & liked them, why not?

Well he's clearly not the one is he?

I always preferred taller blokes - I'm 5 ft 7. Preferably dark. Then I met DP who's 5 ft 8 and blond, and generally considered to be very hot amongst my friends, I might add. It didn't matter with him.

But don't tell him it's because of his height. That would be awful

You are not a twat but you are just not that into him.
If you were in love you wouldn't give a monkeys if he had dwarfism, or was in a wheelchair, or was overweight.

As Dorinda said, be kind.

No, shirt men don't do it for me either.

Short.

Of course romantic relationships have a basis in a preference for looks, if you don't fancy someone, you don't fancy someone. It's not being an ass. If you don't fancy them, then you keep them as a friend.

However I also agree , five months is quite a long time. I think the op likes him, so maybe kept it going longer than she should, i suspect she's also a nice person and is being genuine when she said she thought she'd get over it, but if his height is bothering her then I think it shows the relationship isn't right.

If you are dumping him for being a couple of inches below average height, just tell him the truth. Ok, you will make yourself look bad, but at least he will know it is you not him.

Why did it take six months?

Maybe the OP thought he'd grow on her?

my dh is a short man [same height as me] and he is the most loving and affectionate man ever, have been out with several taller guys but two of them acted like knobs as they towered above others and thought they were the dogs as a result.
would not swop my man for anyone !

my other half is a shortarse. I've never been out with someone shorter than me before.

he is hilarious and kind and funny and handsome and generally ace. the height thing is...not a thing.

comfort zones are for pushing against sometimes. DP has changed my life for the better and I love him very much.

plus he gets to go in the soft play at McDonalds so it's all good.

5 months and you only just realised he was too short?

I don't think you are wrong to prefer certain physical characteristics, we can't help who we are attracted to, but you shouldn't have let it continue so long when you are fully aware that his height will never change.

DH is shorter than me. I don't care, it doesn't define him. It's never been an issue.

I don't think being told he's too short will make him think it's her and not him. Quite the opposite in fact!

Just say it's not working out for you etc. etc.

Yeah I would not tell him it's because he's short when you dump him.

Everyone is the same height lying down

Just saying'

You feel how you feel. You clearly didn't go into dating him with bad intentions. How else would you be six months in and still just not comfortable?

Just let him down nicely and let him move on and find a nice woman who won't give two hoots about his height.