Short men

[luellami]

I have been dating same guy for about 5 months. He is lovely and really caring...I couldn't ask for more. Only thing is...he is short. Same height as me...I'm 5'6". I thought I would get over it but I can't...am I being a twat? I'm thinking of ending it as it's just not fair on him. He really deserves better.

Yes but Fixx the point is that if I didn't fancy him and his creepy long fingers and lanky legs from the get-go it would be unlikely to get to 5 months later before I decided he was too tall!

Sorry Fizz not Fixx

Some people are ditherers and they stay with people longer than they should because they’re dithering and fretting about how to let them go. I had to give a male friend of mine a metaphorical slap on the chops as he’d been with a woman for three months but still wasn’t sure he fancied her. He wasn’t being mean or trying to lead her on, he was just thinking too much about how he should like her rather than facing up to the reality that he it wasn’t going to go anywhere.

self I have agreed with you on that part numerous times!!!!!!!

What is irritating is people saying that it's not acceptable to not fancy someone who is perfect apart from a trait such as height. It's human nature! We like who we like.

What is irritating is people saying that it's not acceptable to not fancy someone who is perfect apart from a trait such as height

I didn't say it's "not acceptable" I said it's "puzzling to me". I don't understand it. I'm not applying a value judgement, I just don't get it.

It's just my opinion. We're allowed have those too, as well as preferences.

I still think it's wrong and bad natured to go out with someone and then be in a relationship 5 months when you knew from the start you wouldn't like him as he was short. You've essentially stole 5 months away from him he could have been dating someone else.

It is rather shallow. It's a bit like a guy saying he'll only go out with blondes. I spent my life dating tall men till I realised I was cutting myself off from all those other lovely shorter guys.

You can end a relationship at any time for any reason, even if those reasons are really shallow - it's just probably best if you don't share the true reason when you break up.

For example, I (at 5'9") dated a short guy (5'2") for 6 months, was utterly infatuated with him but he couldn't handle his stupid friends making little man jokes about us so he dumped me and, to save my feelings about being too tall, told me it was because I wasn't womanly enough (tall, flat chested and opinionated see) which was kind of him because I got over him very quickly...

Lady clearly I wasn't talking about your post

I wouldn't mind.

But if you do mind... well, then he deserves better.

Fizz wasn't clear to me.

How was it not clear? My post was addressed to self. I never said lady lady your post contained xyz. You simply assumed.

Fizz I thought the section that was directed solely towards self was the first paragraph. By moving on to another paragraph I thought you had moved on to talking about posters more generally. That's why I said it wasn't clear to me.

Sorry for any misunderstanding on my part.

Fwiw I quite liked your original post... It's exactly what I think as far as the 5 months thing goes. I couldn't go out with someone I didn't fancy for 5 months either!!

I understand as I wouldn't go out with someone my height or about 5 inches taller (I'm 5 foot). But very few traits are a deal breaker. Fat, thin, black hair, green hair - height and voice only things that would matter.

However, I wouldn't date him in the first place. It just feels odd if a man is really short when you kiss etc. I have quite a few short male friends who are amazing.

I think we all have preferences but should never be nasty about it - he can't help his height.

To those saying a relationship doesn't begin with looks how do you start dating:"/show an interest in dating then?

Because unless you've known them for ages you hardly know their personality.

It's:

1. Initial looks / demeanour
2. Vague personality traits
3. Deeper personality, opinions etc.

Normally the middle phase is when you begin to date if you didn't know them already.

Looks don't matter very much to me.

I have usually dated men I already know, workmates, friends, relatives of my friends etc.

What is going on in a man's head is far more interesting than the skin that is covering it.

Heightism is the last acceptable ism. It's no better than racism for me. That doesn't mean that you can't find someone who is really short unattractive but it's not really any better than deciding someone is unattractive because of their skin colour. So I'd keep it to yourself.

As long as I treat short men with the same respect as I treat tall men what is the problem? I have a friend who will only date black men as she doesn't find white men attractive. I don't think she is racist. I am not going around telling short men I don't fancy them (like they would even care) and I'm not making judgments about them as people.. I just don't want to date them.

I really don't think it is a problem or anything wrong with who I don't find attractive.

Im 5ft 6 OH is 5ft 7. Met him after Id been through several rotten relationships I couldnt care less about his height - he is honest, kind, financially responsible and still fun to be around. Thats what matters.

If height is really a dealbreaker for you then do him a favour and get rid - don't stay with him for the sake of it let him find someone who accepts him as he is. Hope your 6ft prince charming comes flying over the hill one day tho..sometimes you shuffle a good deck of cards and end up with The Joker

My dh is only 5'10 and it does bother him. He would love to be taller. Doesn't bother me as I am 5'7, so he is taller than me (if I stick to flats).

I think it's common, but not pc, for women to find short men slightly unattractive.

I agree that it's the last acceptable 'ism'.

I wonder how shortness remains iyswim, if it's so unattractive. Surely we'd all be 7 foot 4 by now.

selfcleaningvagina (your screen name, holy moly!) I agree with you. I find enormous giants of men a bit............ too giantish. And extremely tall men who aren't overweight are like fold out metre sticks.

I can only base the next statement on the short men I have come across, but... I don't know a faithful short man sorry.
they seem to have something to prove.

I am going to get my comeuppance though, as I think DS will be small!

Height isn't anything I've thought about when choosing a partner.
I don't have a type physically. At all.

(I secretly think people who only fancy one sort of individual, who have to look a particular way, are a bit lacking in imagination.)

I always think people who have a "type" are perhaps stuck on someone from the past that they found especially attractive. Subconsciously maybe.

My last 2 partners have been 5'7" and 6'4".