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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

ABIU to be mad at boyfriend for accepting this job

152 replies

Baybay16 · 05/12/2016 18:48

Hi
I have had an absolute shit say full of horrible people ( bus driver shouted and gave me the finger to give an idea ) so not sure if am just in a horrible mood

I got a new job in June full time my boyfriend was scraping full time hours with two jobs but always had a Tuesday off. I made sure I always had Tuesdays off. It's me and another girl on the make up counter she started on thursday she told me she could work a Wednesday and Friday. I said I am so sorry but is there anyway you can change the Friday to a Tuesday? She shuffled things around ( I think it was uni stuff ) and said she could so great!

I got a text from boyfriend today "been offered a full time job Monday to Friday , took it." I was happy at first but now mad that I made the girl change her days for my Tuesday. There's no way I can get a saturday Sunday off so we will never have a day off together .
I am frustrated that I am always so flexible and considering to him but seems he couldn't actually care less. He knew the hassle I went to to get a Tuesday off for him and I just feel annoyed that I will see him after 5.30 and that's all ( some nights I work til 9 too! )
AIBU

He said I just want him to feel shit about it and he wants me to change my days ( again .. and I can't!)

OP posts:
greenfolder · 05/12/2016 18:49

Hes got a full time job and that is your reaction? Poor boyfriend

Crunchymum · 05/12/2016 18:49

You sound a bit needy OP.

Do you live together?

rumpelstiltskin43 · 05/12/2016 18:50

How old are you? 12?

PossumInAPearTree · 05/12/2016 18:51

Most full time jobs are Monday to Friday. Be happy he got a job.

TheCakes · 05/12/2016 18:52

Most full time jobs are Monday to Friday. It's daytime hours. What's wrong with evenings?
I'd be glad he had a full time job and a but of security.

Original poster
Baybay16 · 05/12/2016 18:52

The job is in his work he is at now .. it's only 3 more hours a week which just doesn't feel worth it for how little we will see each other

OP posts:
PossumInAPearTree · 05/12/2016 18:52

Do you work every weekend?

Original poster
Baybay16 · 05/12/2016 18:53

Yes every weekend x he does too normally

OP posts:
ChuckGravestones · 05/12/2016 18:54

You wanted him to turn a job down because you can't get the right day off?

Why?

SVJAA · 05/12/2016 18:54

DP works 60 + hours per week minimum, we find time to spend together. I think your reaction is pretty nasty, you should have congratulated him!

Osolea · 05/12/2016 18:54

It was always going to be difficult for him to get a job with regular Tuesdays off, you can't expect him not to accept a standard Monday to Friday job when he needs to find work.

It's understandable you're disappointed that you won't get much time together, but try not to have a go at him for doing a completely reasonable thing because you're upset.

bloodyteenagers · 05/12/2016 18:54

Work patterns change. Even if he remained doing two part time jobs, at any point he could have had a shift change.

SheSparkles · 05/12/2016 18:55

Really?

HermioneJeanGranger · 05/12/2016 18:55

I work five days in seven, DP works Mon-Fri. We rarely get weekends together. It sucks sometimes but we get every evening together which is more than lots of couples.

It also means we get plenty of time to ourselves which I think helps a lot.

YABU to be mad at him. If you were offered a Mon-Fri 9-5 job, wouldn't you take it?!

alltouchedout · 05/12/2016 18:55

When I was pregnant with ds3 a bus driver almost ran me over then shouted at me for it. I stood in front of his bus, called him a cunt and offered him out. He was shocked.

OP I think you've just had a shitty day. See if you can change your days and if not just shrug and plan some nice stuff to do in your free days :)

ShowMePotatoSalad · 05/12/2016 18:56

How many full time jobs do you think you can swap a weekday for a weekend day? Is that what you were hoping he could do?

Do you see him during the evenings?

YABVU.

CharliePurple · 05/12/2016 18:57

Op, you might not think it is worth it but he does. Most people have to juggle their work and home life, you just have to get used to it and deal with it in a mature way.

Bluntness100 · 05/12/2016 18:58

Wow, yes, that's highly unreasonable, I guess he's looking to better himself and make his prospects better and a full time job should be congratulated. Very strange to think he should decline it so he could be off on a Tuesday with you and yes. Very needy. Sorry.

FishSauce555 · 05/12/2016 18:59

Yabvu I'm afraid!

Maybe you could look for a more compatible job?

Original poster
Baybay16 · 05/12/2016 19:00

He could have just stuck which his jobs ( in the same super market ) he works 16 hours there and 16 hours at a shopping centre
I work til 9pm a lot of evenings so no won't see him then much

This isn't a permanent job just until we go back to Uni next year

OP posts:
BratFarrarsPony · 05/12/2016 19:01

I think you should be happy about his new job opportunity.
You see him every evening dont you?
I suppose it would be nice to have a day off together, but that is life really.

Why did the bus driver stick his finger up and shout then? not for no reason I am sure!

Original poster
Baybay16 · 05/12/2016 19:01

We said we would enjoy our year off Uni since we wouldnt be working full time and studying we would be able to spend some time together it just feels like it's defeating the point

OP posts:
Original poster
Baybay16 · 05/12/2016 19:02

I work til 9pm most evenings get home at 9.45 quick something to eat and then bed so no I won't see him evenings.

OP posts:
FairyDogMother11 · 05/12/2016 19:02

My job involves switching from days to nights and back again. It varies from week to week and I never have a set day off. My partner works 12hr shifts and again, has no set routine. We're adults and we have bills to pay. We live together and sometimes don't see each other awake in four or five days. Unfortunately that is life, it's not ideal but we are always grateful for the time we do get together. We make an effort to book our holidays at the same time but apart from that, if we didn't do what we do our mortgage just wouldn't get paid.

Bluntness100 · 05/12/2016 19:02

Are you in some way worried or insecure about your relationship? Is there a back story here that we aren't aware of?