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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

ABIU to be mad at boyfriend for accepting this job

152 replies

Baybay16 · 05/12/2016 18:48

Hi
I have had an absolute shit say full of horrible people ( bus driver shouted and gave me the finger to give an idea ) so not sure if am just in a horrible mood

I got a new job in June full time my boyfriend was scraping full time hours with two jobs but always had a Tuesday off. I made sure I always had Tuesdays off. It's me and another girl on the make up counter she started on thursday she told me she could work a Wednesday and Friday. I said I am so sorry but is there anyway you can change the Friday to a Tuesday? She shuffled things around ( I think it was uni stuff ) and said she could so great!

I got a text from boyfriend today "been offered a full time job Monday to Friday , took it." I was happy at first but now mad that I made the girl change her days for my Tuesday. There's no way I can get a saturday Sunday off so we will never have a day off together .
I am frustrated that I am always so flexible and considering to him but seems he couldn't actually care less. He knew the hassle I went to to get a Tuesday off for him and I just feel annoyed that I will see him after 5.30 and that's all ( some nights I work til 9 too! )
AIBU

He said I just want him to feel shit about it and he wants me to change my days ( again .. and I can't!)

OP posts:
Original poster
Baybay16 · 05/12/2016 19:03

He stuck his finger up at me because I intervened when he shouted at an old lady making her cry when her card didnt work.. i said there's no need to speak to her like that and paid her fare

OP posts:
BratFarrarsPony · 05/12/2016 19:03

oh that does sound nasty...Flowers

Original poster
Baybay16 · 05/12/2016 19:04

I feel like if because we like spending a day together a week to see each other is insecure then yes am insecure ??

OP posts:
Happyoutlook · 05/12/2016 19:04

Welcome to the real world OP! This is the way life normally works out.

harderandharder2breathe · 05/12/2016 19:05

Yabu one full time job is better than two part time jobs and mon-fri is a standard working week so hardly a strange thing for him to have

Surely you can still spend evenings together?

HermioneJeanGranger · 05/12/2016 19:06

Can't you look for another job?

I think he's been very sensible.

LoveForTulips · 05/12/2016 19:08

I can see why you would be upset - (more for the fact he hadn't discussed it with you)
However... i can go weeks seeing my DH only in passing, mornings or evenings as one of us comes in, and one of us goes out.

When we do get time off together, we make the most of the time we are spending together and do something we both want to do.

Original poster
Baybay16 · 05/12/2016 19:09

For the third time I work til 9pm most evenings and will be home 9.45 so no can't spend evenings

OP posts:
Hamsolo · 05/12/2016 19:09

Are you taking a year out before going to university? I imagine your boyfriend wants to maximise what he can save to get him through the cost of going. It seems really sensible to me.

Original poster
Baybay16 · 05/12/2016 19:11

The new job is about three more hours A week it isn't going to make much diffeeent financially

OP posts:
Maverickismywingman · 05/12/2016 19:12

Jeez OP, give your boyfriend a break.
Plus!
This isn't a permanent job just until we go back to Uni next year

So it's a temporary thing! Not forever. And the extra three hours WILL generate a bit of extra income, and it looks good on future CVs and if he wants to apply for any other in house positions.

Crumbs1 · 05/12/2016 19:13

My husband was often away for a week at a time and even now he is away 3 nights a week. A full time job is better than two part- time so you may need short term pain for long term gain. Use the day off to see friends, catch up with your mum, do something new. Enjoy the time apart and you'll enjoy time together more too.

sparklefarts · 05/12/2016 19:14

you exactly what maverick said.

You sound very immature and needy.

Reality16 · 05/12/2016 19:15

Welcome to life

cardibach · 05/12/2016 19:15

At the start you said you work some nights until 9. Now you are getting shirty with people and saying you always work until 9. Which is it? It seems you are changing details because people aren't agreeing with you. It's just a year, then you'll be at University with plenty of spare time.

Maverickismywingman · 05/12/2016 19:15

And ok, I feel I've been a bit harsh - it's perfectly normal and good to want to spend a whole day with your partner. But, as its temporary, I think it's worth just making a go of it.

I can see why your boyfriend would want to take just the one position rather than working the two jobs. One paycheque is better than two separate lots.

Original poster
Baybay16 · 05/12/2016 19:15

It's in a supermarket doing the same thing so it won't really make a different on his cv
I just wish he hadn't made such a fuss about the possibility of me not having a Tuesday off anymore if he's going to take jobs and expect me to work around him without even asking
I'm always at least considerate of it doesn't work tough shit but I like to take him into consideration at least

OP posts:
Helbelle75 · 05/12/2016 19:18

Sorry, yabu. I work mon-Fri, my DH Works a rota including Saturday and Sunday , so it is very rare that we get a weekend off together. It's a pain, but he relocated to be with me and I was very proud of him for getting a full time job within his field in a month of moving here.
You'll work something out so you spend time together.

Sparklingbrook · 05/12/2016 19:18

What Reality said. You both have jobs and University to go back too. Think positive.

Shakey15000 · 05/12/2016 19:20

I'd also say welcome to life. When DH and I BOTH did shift work, one would be getting up for work while the other one came home. A bleary "alright?" was the most we managed. And survived Smile

harrypotternerd · 05/12/2016 19:21

UABVVU you and your boyfriend work. That is part of life. My partner works full time and studies full time as well. He is out of the house 6am and can get home anywhere from 6pm to 7pm. He then has about an hour or so of study to do most nights and even more on weekends. We do not spend that much alone time together. We do make sure we do something for ourselves at least once a fortnight like go to the movies or out to dinner together. I am not currently working as I look after my DC full time but when I was I also worked weekends. We survived.

IonaNE · 05/12/2016 19:23

YABVU

expatinscotland · 05/12/2016 19:23

'I'm always at least considerate of it doesn't work tough shit but I like to take him into consideration at least'

STOP. You're young and at uni. Put yourself first. He does. You have the rest of your life to consider others. Now's the time when you don't have to.

cardibach · 05/12/2016 19:23

Actually, if it's your year off it's not even a year, is it? Just until next september, so about 9 months. Your OP doesn't say he asked you to keep Tuesdays free - perhaps he (like everyone else here) feels that getting a full time job is more important.

Doublemint · 05/12/2016 19:26

Ha 9 months! That's a military deployment. I won't even see my husband for that length of time. Zilch. Nada. Nothing.

This is called adulting.

YABVU OP.