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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

ABIU to be mad at boyfriend for accepting this job

152 replies

Baybay16 · 05/12/2016 18:48

Hi
I have had an absolute shit say full of horrible people ( bus driver shouted and gave me the finger to give an idea ) so not sure if am just in a horrible mood

I got a new job in June full time my boyfriend was scraping full time hours with two jobs but always had a Tuesday off. I made sure I always had Tuesdays off. It's me and another girl on the make up counter she started on thursday she told me she could work a Wednesday and Friday. I said I am so sorry but is there anyway you can change the Friday to a Tuesday? She shuffled things around ( I think it was uni stuff ) and said she could so great!

I got a text from boyfriend today "been offered a full time job Monday to Friday , took it." I was happy at first but now mad that I made the girl change her days for my Tuesday. There's no way I can get a saturday Sunday off so we will never have a day off together .
I am frustrated that I am always so flexible and considering to him but seems he couldn't actually care less. He knew the hassle I went to to get a Tuesday off for him and I just feel annoyed that I will see him after 5.30 and that's all ( some nights I work til 9 too! )
AIBU

He said I just want him to feel shit about it and he wants me to change my days ( again .. and I can't!)

OP posts:
jamdonut · 05/12/2016 19:27

I think you are being unreasonable.

You'll just have to make the effort to go and see each other when you are both at uni next year. The extra money will come in useful to fund that!. Are your universities close?
My dd goes to see her boyfriend every other week, and he goes to see her when shifts at his work and lectures etc allow. She spends most of the week in a shared house, then comes home at weekends to work.

Original poster
Baybay16 · 05/12/2016 19:28

The Uni thing is irrelevant we will have less time when we go to uni as will work almost just as much .. I meant jobwise it's not his dream job it's a filler til we go back .. not when we go back I will see him loads.

OP posts:
NonnoMum · 05/12/2016 19:29

Write each other letters...

It will fuel the flames of this beautiful relationship.

Allthebestnamesareused · 05/12/2016 19:30

You'll be able to see him when he gets home on Tuesday because you're not working until 9 then. As the others have said why don't you look for another job if it bothers you that much. After all its only temporary until you go to uni!

VeryBitchyRestingFace · 05/12/2016 19:31

YABU.

But then so he is for expecting you to change your hours.

Original poster
Baybay16 · 05/12/2016 19:34

Yes it is only temporary until we go back to Uni ... But when we go back we will see each other even less than this new set up ! We hated that and was one of the things we looked forward to on this year off it feels like we have took the year off for no reason at all

OP posts:
notangelinajolie · 05/12/2016 19:35

He has just got a new job and all you have to say is .... 'what about me'? I really have no words for you OP.

ThatStewie · 05/12/2016 19:36

You have 9 months until uni starts. Prioritising saving as much as possible.

Sparklingbrook · 05/12/2016 19:37

What was the year out for? Why did you not continue at University?

TrinityForce · 05/12/2016 19:37

I get you, OP

How long have you been together? I'd be a bit annoyed if taking a new job wasn't discussed together - I'd discuss my poss new job with DP - can't imagine not doing!

But I COMPLETELY get it - you want to spend time together, not work your arse off for 2 measly extra work hours and a full day less together!

VeryBitchyRestingFace · 05/12/2016 19:38

We hated that and was one of the things we looked forward to on this year off it feels like we have took the year off for no reason at all

You took a year off uni in order to spend more time with your boyfriend?

I think I'm hallucinating. Please someone tell me I'm reading that wrong.

Sparklingbrook · 05/12/2016 19:39

I think I may be too Very. As a parent of a near University age DS.

Maverickismywingman · 05/12/2016 19:39

Unfortunately, though, this is the reality for most couples - working out your social life after work.
It would've been nice if he'd considered you, so maybe ask him why he didn't? The time together obviously means so much to you, and I think he ought to have known that.

Original poster
Baybay16 · 05/12/2016 19:39

No I said it was the main thing we looked forward to not the main reason why ... We had to move and couldn't afford to do that whilst at uni . Money has evened out now and are done

OP posts:
Original poster
Baybay16 · 05/12/2016 19:40

Our move also had to make us change unis and we would have done it time for enrolment

OP posts:
Original poster
Baybay16 · 05/12/2016 19:41

Wouldn't sorry my laptop grr

OP posts:
Champagneformyrealfriends · 05/12/2016 19:42

Am I right in thinking you work in retail? Cosmetics? What on earth have they got you doing every weekend and until 9 every night for? And what other day off do you have?

Sparklingbrook · 05/12/2016 19:42

Why did you have to move? Are you renting?

Original poster
Baybay16 · 05/12/2016 19:43

Working it out it looks like it will be less money as he will have met tax threshold and would have to pay tax

OP posts:
Sparklingbrook · 05/12/2016 19:43

That's Christmas in retail at the moment Champagne.

Champagneformyrealfriends · 05/12/2016 19:44

I don't think it's possible to earn less paying tax (on the same hourly rate) as it is not paying tax.

Champagneformyrealfriends · 05/12/2016 19:45

I did 12 years in cosmetic retail (flagship stores) and never did every weekend and every late.

Original poster
Baybay16 · 05/12/2016 19:45

Yeah cosmetics our shopping centre is open late and as I am the only.one in I must cover the late shift I get away with an early shift very rarely. We had to move as the uni stopped doing the courses we did and turned into an engineering and mechanics one ( nowhere near what we want to do )

OP posts:
Bedsheets4knickers · 05/12/2016 19:47

Yabvu get a grip

Lilaclily · 05/12/2016 19:47

Well I think it's great that you are both students and working to pay your way

Hope things get easier for you op