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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be annoyed with DB over DN's birthday gift?

201 replies

HickDead · 04/12/2016 21:29

I live quite a distance from my DB, DSIL and their DC. Birthday presents usually end up being sent so that the kids have them on their birthdays. Lately there has been quite a few issues with the postal system, not sure if it's my end or their end but things have been going missing or turning up obviously tampered with. With this in mind I decided that for DN's birthday I would just put a cheque in a card as that would be safer, DN doesn't have a bank account so I made cheque out to DB. This was about 10 days ago.

This evening I have just had the following message from DB
Hi Hick, can you forward cash to us as cheque does not suit, we are busy people and I don't know when you think we'll have time to get to bank with it. My details are * , if you sort it ASAP as DN needs it.

WTF I have never come across anything so rude in all my life, I'm really disgusted and want to tell them where to stuff it. DB and SIL have form for being a bit arrogant and thinking the world revolves around them but this has really upset me. No thank you, no please, no nothing! AIBU?

OP posts:
TeenageCentaurMortificado · 04/12/2016 21:30

Rude yes. But what's wrong with online banking?

Funko · 04/12/2016 21:30

And Cancel the cheque Grin

YelloDraw · 04/12/2016 21:32

Ride message but cheques are a bit 1990's :-)

Footinmouthasusual · 04/12/2016 21:32

How rude! Ignore

RandomMess · 04/12/2016 21:33

Very rude not to thank you and then ask nicely if you would do a transfer instead!!!

I'd be tempted not to bother and see if they get around to ever cashing the cheque in the next 6 months...

bigredfireengine · 04/12/2016 21:33

The tone is rude but the intention is ok.

We had years of cheques and etc children who didn't have accounts they could be paid into (I note that you didn't do this) .

To pay in a cheque I have to pay £2 to park and it takes at least an hour- so loss of income. A bank transfer takes the same time for the giver but much better for the receiver. There are so few banks these days compared to years ago and around here they are all in towns.

CherryChasingDotMuncher · 04/12/2016 21:33

Reply "sorry, no can do, I don't know when you think I'll have time to go to the post office again for you so you'll have to find a way to cash it".

Cagliostro · 04/12/2016 21:34

Definitely cancel the cheque :o

Yes, very very rude

mya83 · 04/12/2016 21:35

Reply telling them they're rude and ungrateful, then cancel the cheque.

Damia · 04/12/2016 21:35

I get sent chqs by older relatives for my son and never bank them as I'm never anywhere near a bank. I haven't ever told them but so wish I could...

BernadetteMatthews · 04/12/2016 21:35

Very rude but bloody hate it when the DCs get a cheque. It means a trip into town and then queuing in a long line of coughing people.

It's a PITA.

Soubriquet · 04/12/2016 21:37

It's a very rude way of asking a reasonable request

SaucyJack · 04/12/2016 21:37

Can't you just do a bank transfer?

It's worded crassly, but the sentiment is fine. Cheques are a pain in the arse.

bumsexatthebingo · 04/12/2016 21:37

Just ignore it. How rude

Ohyesiam · 04/12/2016 21:38

Cherry chasing dot muncher is right. And you can pay cheques in at the post office, it's not that hard....

OlennasWimple · 04/12/2016 21:39

Don't most banks now let you pay in through a hole in the wall?

FannyWincham · 04/12/2016 21:39

'No problem, DB. I've transferred the money, minus £10 to cover the cost of cancelling the cheque.'

Wink
Crunchymum · 04/12/2016 21:39

How much was it for?

steff13 · 04/12/2016 21:40

Is mobile deposit not an option in UK banks? With my bank, I take a picture of the check on the bank app, and it's deposited, the same as if I'd taken it physically to the bank.

AuntMabel · 04/12/2016 21:40

Cancel the cheque, save him the inconvenience of feeding it into an ATM. "Sorry bro, cash doesn't suit. Never mind, it's the thought that counts, almost as much as your lack of gratitude."

Cheek.

Cynara · 04/12/2016 21:41

How very rude. And DN doesn't "need" it, how ridiculous. I'd ignore if I were you.

InfiniteSheldon · 04/12/2016 21:41

I bank cheques regularly it really isn't a mission Hmm that's just so rude of them I'd be tempted to reply saying 'did you mean to be so rude?'

EweAreHere · 04/12/2016 21:41

Tell them they can put it in an envelope and post it to their bank with a deposit slip.

Done.

Guitargirl · 04/12/2016 21:43

I would ignore it and cancel the cheque. It's an incredibly rude message. We have relatives who send us cheques for the DCs. It's a minor inconvenience to get to a bank to pay them in. Your brother's been really rude, I would ignore it and stop sending anything from now on.

toldmywraath · 04/12/2016 21:44

Yes you can pay cheques and cash in at any post office, so your brother is being unreasonable and ungrateful and unbelievably rude.