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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Nanny gave DD a cold sore - furious. AIBU?

436 replies

firstimer30s · 04/12/2016 17:31

As the title said, nanny came to work with a cold sore. She said she is careful so like an idiot I didn't question it. DD (3 yrs old) developed a fever, sore throat and now a huge cold sore. I am so angry and I'm kicking myself. DD will now have this for life.
Nanny says she is sorry.
What would you do?

OP posts:
AndShesGone · 04/12/2016 17:33

I'd shrug. It's not great but most people carry the cold sore virus. It's also not guaranteed she got it from her.

Bluntness100 · 04/12/2016 17:35

Well I doubt she did this on purpose and why didn't you send her home? And your daughter would probably have got a cold sore anyways. I really think you're being highly unreasonable.

steff13 · 04/12/2016 17:35

I think most people carry the virus, don't they? It was ultimately your decision to let the nanny stay. If she's a good nanny, I wouldn't do anything.

witsender · 04/12/2016 17:35

Would you rather she had called in sick with a cold sore?

dementedpixie · 04/12/2016 17:36

My dh gets cold sores and by some miracle has not passed it on to me or either of the 2 children. It's one of those things I suppose

Limitededition7inch · 04/12/2016 17:36

Whilst they are pretty annoying, hundreds of thousands of people have cold sores and they're hardly a debilitating condition. Nanny has said she is sorry. I'd leave it tbh.

villainousbroodmare · 04/12/2016 17:36

I would require her to explain exactly how that happened. Not that it will make any difference. It's really unfortunate. Though I suppose worse things happen at sea etc etc.
Are you happy with the nanny otherwise?

Out2pasture · 04/12/2016 17:36

Watch and wait to see if it turns to hand/foot/mouth disease. It's rare for children to get cold sores before 12 (something about natural immunity).

Scooby20 · 04/12/2016 17:36

Well if I trusted her enough to care for my child I would trust her enough to think that she was careful. So i would be probably a bit upset but believe she was careful. Unfortunately these things happen and she could have got it from elsewhere.

Although tbh I have never had a nanny. Are they expected to call in sick with cold sores?

PotteringAlong · 04/12/2016 17:37

I'd do nothing. She probably was careful. You obviously weren't that concerned or you would have sent her home.

dementedpixie · 04/12/2016 17:37

How could she explain exactly how it happened?? It's a virus and I hardly think the nanny was rubbing her face all over your dd.

NerdsAndMonsters · 04/12/2016 17:39

Difficult one because you can't know for certain it was the Nanny that transmitted the virus on. (Am assuming that he mixes with more people than you & the nanny?).
Sympathies Flowers though, they can be so poorly with primary herpes- if it's just developed maybe take him to the GP tomorrow -it may be possible to be prescribed systemic acyclovir- which will shorten the illness.

PotteringAlong · 04/12/2016 17:39

I would require her to explain exactly how that happened.

Really? You would expect them to know exactly how it happened?!

LotsOfShoes · 04/12/2016 17:39

I get you're annoyed. But you knew she had it and let her get on with it - which means you wouldn't have been very happy if she'd called in sick for a few days with a cold sore. It's one of those things. I get a cold sore once in a while but very very little symptoms, just a little blister that goes away quickly. You never know how these things go and most people have this virus.

NerdsAndMonsters · 04/12/2016 17:42

I'd also have a chat with the nanny about hygiene, i.e. washing her hands after touching her cold sore-for her own sake as much as anything else. I don't think people realise how ocular herpes is transmitted.

RNBrie · 04/12/2016 17:43

This happened here too. Neither dh or I had the virus. Nanny gave it to dc1 who gave it to dc2 who gave it to me, dh still does not have it. Nanny is appropriately upset about it and said she thought it was like chicken pox that once the blister has scabbed over, its no longer contagious.

It was made worse by dd1 having an aggressive reaction to it and ending up in hospital unable to eat or drink and barely able to breathe. She gets cold sores every one to two months now (a year later) so its a fairly constant reminder... I do wish it hadn't happened as I don't really believe they would definitely have caught it at some point but she is an excellent nanny and it wasn't as if she did it deliberately and she can't do it again so firing her wouldn't achieve anything (and is possibly illegal, although she did offer to resign when dd1 was hospitalised).

frikadela01 · 04/12/2016 17:43

7 in 10 people carry the herpes virus apparently. Not nice but not the end of the world. I think furious is a massive over reaction. If it bothered you that much you should have sent the nanny home.

WheresTheEvidence · 04/12/2016 17:44

Theres probably a chance she passed it on before the coldsore came out, rather than she spent the day trying to rub her coldsore on your dc.

AllPartOfThePlan · 04/12/2016 17:45

I've had cold sores forever since I was little. I think I probably got them from my grandmother who used to get them regularly. They've never bothered me, it's rare I get them, usually only when I'm run down or stressed, it's not a big deal, I wouldn't worry.

Janey50 · 04/12/2016 17:45

Seriously,who calls in sick at work with a cold sore?!

AntiHop · 04/12/2016 17:46

I'd be reall upset by this.

pudcat · 04/12/2016 17:46

I get loads of cold sores but none of my children or my husband has caught them. If I had to stay away from children each time I had them I would have been a part time teacher. As long as the child doesn't touch the sore or drink from the same glass, and basic hygiene is kept, it should be ok for the Nanny to work.

corythatwas · 04/12/2016 17:47

Cold sores can last for weeks: would you have been happy for her to have called in sick until it had passed?

NerdsAndMonsters · 04/12/2016 17:47

Have included a link about primary herpes:
www.nhs.uk/Conditions/Cold-sore/Pages/Symptoms.aspx

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