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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Nanny gave DD a cold sore - furious. AIBU?

436 replies

firstimer30s · 04/12/2016 17:31

As the title said, nanny came to work with a cold sore. She said she is careful so like an idiot I didn't question it. DD (3 yrs old) developed a fever, sore throat and now a huge cold sore. I am so angry and I'm kicking myself. DD will now have this for life.
Nanny says she is sorry.
What would you do?

OP posts:
Bunnyfuller · 04/12/2016 18:28

Maybe she can ask for compensation when she catches a shitty bug from your pfb?

user1480182169 · 04/12/2016 18:28

Thanks for the Daily Mail deluge but since the OP's kid is not a very young baby, its even less wanted than a normal DM link.

GardenGeek · 04/12/2016 18:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Wonderflonium · 04/12/2016 18:29

She'll have been infectious before the sore showed up. She passed it on before she knew to be careful, sounds like :(

almondpudding · 04/12/2016 18:29

Poldark, of course oral herpes are an STD. You can contract/transmit it through sexual contact with genitals.

You can also contact it in other ways.

The same is true of HIV.

FlappysMammyAndPopeInExile · 04/12/2016 18:30

I get cold sores. So does my daughter. So did my mother and grannie, sisters and nieces.

Strangely neither my brother nor my son, my husband nor my nephews suffer from them.

A weakness in the female line, I think.

ghostyslovesheets · 04/12/2016 18:30

I'm not dismissing it I'm asking what the OP would have had the nanny do

it's obvious she wouldn't have paid her sick pay - she just wants something random to do with hygiene - for all she knows the child touched her face before she could stop her - so being angry and asking what we would do is just daft

I hope the nanny finds a new job soon to be honest

Trifleorbust · 04/12/2016 18:30

The OP has every right to be upset but not with the nanny. She didn't hide the coldsore from her employer. She could have been sent home but wasn't. There is no reason to believe she was careless or unhygienic.

FlappysMammyAndPopeInExile · 04/12/2016 18:31

And yes - they can be very nasty. Mine also led to severe facial shingles.

NerdsAndMonsters · 04/12/2016 18:32

User OP DD is 3 and anyway, these are scientific facts irregardless of the Daily Mail links fgs🤔

RNBrie · 04/12/2016 18:32

BertrandRussell herpetic stomatitis

Young children can have a really awful reaction to their first exposure to herpes simplex.

ghostyslovesheets · 04/12/2016 18:33

oh for goddness sake - ORAL herpes and STD Herpes are NOT the same

Herpes simplex viruses more commonly known as herpes are categorized into two types: herpes type 1 (HSV-1, or oral herpes) and herpes type 2 (HSV-2, or genital herpes)

Herpes simplex type 1, which is transmitted through oral secretions or sores on the skin, can be spread through kissing or sharing objects such as toothbrushes or eating utensils. In general, a person can only get herpes type 2 infection during sexual contact with someone who has a genital HSV-2 infection.

from the interweb

GravyAndShite · 04/12/2016 18:34

Here's a selection of press reports for those posters saying "it's just a cold sore" - the primary version can be very serious in young children.

links 3 daily mail articles

Grin
almondpudding · 04/12/2016 18:35

Most cases of genital herpes infections are also type 1.

You can catch oral herpes through oral sex.

Also from the inter web.

PoldarksBreeches · 04/12/2016 18:36

Most cases of genital herpes are type 2, not type one, but type one on th genitals is common

GardenGeek · 04/12/2016 18:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NerdsAndMonsters · 04/12/2016 18:37

Gravy
In these particular cases the Daily Mail isn't talking rubbish.

almondpudding · 04/12/2016 18:39

Worldwide rates of either HSV-1 and/or HSV-2 are between 60 and 95% in adults.[9] HSV-1 is more common than HSV-2, with rates of both increasing as people age.[9] HSV-1 rates are between 70% and 80% in populations of low socioeconomic status and 40% to 60% in populations of improved socioeconomic status.[9] An estimated 536 million people or 16% of the population worldwide were infected with HSV-2 as of 2003 with greater rates among women and in those in the developing world.[10] Rates of infection are determined by the presence of antibodies against either viral species.[76]

In the US, 57.7% of the population is infected with HSV-1[77] and 16.2% are infected with HSV-2. Among those HSV-2-seropositive, only 18.9% were aware they were infected.[78] During 2005–2008, the prevalence of HSV-2 was 39.2% in blacks and 20.9% in women.[79]

The annual incidence in Canada of genital herpes due to HSV-1 and HSV-2 infection is not known (for a review of HSV-1/HSV-2 prevalence and incidence studies worldwide, see Smith and Robinson 2002). As many as one in seven Canadians [80] aged 14 to 59 may be infected with herpes simplex type 2 virus and more than 90 per cent of them may be unaware of their status, a new study suggests.[81] In the United States, it is estimated that about 1,640,000 HSV-2 seroconversions occur yearly (730,000 men and 910,000 women, or 8.4 per 1,000 persons).[82]

In British Columbia in 1999, the seroprevalence of HSV-2 antibody in leftover serum submitted for antenatal testing revealed a prevalence of 17.3%, ranging from 7.1% in women 15–19 years old to 28.2% in those 40–44 years.[83]

In Norway, a study published in 2000 found that 90% of genital initial infections were due to HSV-1.[84]

In Nova Scotia, 58.1% of 1,790 HSV isolates from genital lesion cultures in women were HSV-1; in men, 36.7% of 468 isolates were HSV-1.[85]'

Witchend · 04/12/2016 18:39

If you'd happily pay her full pay when off for a cold sore then you're perfectly reasonable. If not, not.

ghostyslovesheets · 04/12/2016 18:40

I would guess it was TYPE 1 on the genitals - from type on on the lips - not type 2 - type 2 does sticks to the genitals hence being an STD

Type 1 like warm and wet membranes - and tends to hang around the mouth but everyone with cold sores knows not to have oral sex when you have an active sore

but lip sores are not an STD

Trifleorbust · 04/12/2016 18:41

It doesn't matter whether it is an STD. That is irrelevant. It can easily be passed on through skin-to-skin or contact with objects like door frames or and toys. A nanny cannot possibly be held responsible for a child catching it unless she has been kissing the child or not washing her hands frequently.

Hamsolo · 04/12/2016 18:41

The light treatment sold by Boots is excellent at preventing reoccurrence. I had them very regularly in childhood (caught from my grandma somewhere before primary school as I have one in EVERY school photo). Anyway, I used the light device 5 years ago - haven't had one since.

GardenGeek · 04/12/2016 18:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

pklme · 04/12/2016 18:42

Quote from NHS direct

However, there's no need to stay away from work or miss school if you or your child have a cold sore.