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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Nanny gave DD a cold sore - furious. AIBU?

436 replies

firstimer30s · 04/12/2016 17:31

As the title said, nanny came to work with a cold sore. She said she is careful so like an idiot I didn't question it. DD (3 yrs old) developed a fever, sore throat and now a huge cold sore. I am so angry and I'm kicking myself. DD will now have this for life.
Nanny says she is sorry.
What would you do?

OP posts:
BitOutOfPractice · 04/12/2016 18:00

And again Vladmir that is a really unhelpful and ridiculous post.

dementedpixie · 04/12/2016 18:00

And it's not an std. It is herpes simplex

GravyAndShite · 04/12/2016 18:00

I think YABU and if you accused me of make a child sick with nothing but coincidental evidence I'd be hurt and it would be the first strike to me seeking consider terminating our contract.

user1480182169 · 04/12/2016 18:01

Actually cold sores CAN be life threatening. OK its typically in newborns, but it does happen

not in your average nominally healthy person, no need to scaremonger.

Serin · 04/12/2016 18:01

"It's only a cold sore" .....Up thread.

A cold sore nearly killed our DD.

We will always be grateful to Alder Hey hospital ITU.

With hindsight I would have sent the nanny home, but Alder Hey told us the virus is also environmental, even airborne, so it cannot be totally avoided.

SlottedSpoon · 04/12/2016 18:01

I have had coldsores for twenty years and have no idea who 'gave' me them. My DH has never caught them and neither did any of my children until they left home and caught them from somewhere else.

I think you are being ridiculous and unfair.

MissVictoria · 04/12/2016 18:03

I've definitely never dated anyone with it thanks very much, seeing as i've had one, very long term relationship and he's never had it either.

I definitely don't have the virus, nobody in my family does, i've been around these people 27 years and not one has ever had a cold sore. Not to mention i don't kiss random people.

If you think its offensive i'm creeped out by oral herpes you're being precious. If it were genital herpes it wouldn't be "offensive" to be creeped out by the thought of getting it.

Zeb81 · 04/12/2016 18:04

I have a cold sore currently as run down. I have not passed it on to my 6 year old, 3 year old or indeed my husband who I have been with for 15 years. It is possible she was a carrier of the virus and no guarantee her Nanny gave it to her

Original poster
firstimer30s · 04/12/2016 18:04

Er it's not life threatening but in toddlers it's pretty horrid. Swollen glands , week of sickness, fever , off food . It's just annoying because with good hygiene it can be avoided

OP posts:
tinytemper66 · 04/12/2016 18:04

I went 48 years without one and have one in the same place three times now. I went to work, I am a teacher, and I didn`t infect anyone that I know of. I put something on it prior to laving the house and washed my hands and kept my hands away from my face. I would have been laughed at with derision if I had phoned in sick for a cold sore. [However I do appreciate that some people may not be able to work as PP have suggested.]

almondpudding · 04/12/2016 18:05

The STD form of herpes is herpes simplex!

NerdsAndMonsters · 04/12/2016 18:06

Absolutely your child cannot go to nursery because she doesn't just have a cold sore; she has a cold sore +fever + a cough= primary herpes
Very different to just a cold sore
Some shocking ignorance of herpes on this thread.

WallToWallBastards · 04/12/2016 18:06

I've always had coldsores, every Christmas and birthday picture I have from being very young was ruined Wink and nobody knows where they came from. They're unpleasant but in general will be fine. Compeed coldsore patches are my lifeline. Boyfriend even kisses me occasionally when I'm crawling with herpes and still hasn't had one. I also have a herpes friend who I can freely share bottles and glasses with as we both know it's already too late for us Grin

SoupDragon · 04/12/2016 18:07

It's not the Nanny's fault.

user1480182169 · 04/12/2016 18:08

I definitely don't have the virus, nobody in my family does, i've been around these people 27 years and not one has ever had a cold sore

Doesn't mean they don't have the virus. I have it, and I haven't had a cold sore in over 20 years.

ghostyslovesheets · 04/12/2016 18:08

DOES YOUR NANNY GET SICK PAY AND WOULD YOU HAVE PAID HER TO STAY HOME WITH A COLD SORE?

sorry but this is quiet important to the unreasonableness of your anger and you seem to be avoiding an answer

Original poster
firstimer30s · 04/12/2016 18:10

Yes she does . I simply expected her to have had better hygiene . I know plenty of people who manage not to passed them onto their DDs when they've had them

OP posts:
Trifleorbust · 04/12/2016 18:10

You should have told her you didn't want her to work if you didn't want to take the risk. I'm sure she was careful but it is a contagious infection.

Trifleorbust · 04/12/2016 18:11

Yes, OP but I'm sure just as many people have passed them on. You don't know it was through carelessness Confused

LuluJakey1 · 04/12/2016 18:11

It might never return. I had them as a child and have not had them for 30 years since I was about 7.

Original poster
firstimer30s · 04/12/2016 18:11

Trifle I'm kicking myself for not telling her to stay home

OP posts:
OhtoblazeswithElvira · 04/12/2016 18:12

I wish we could have some proper facts!

My sister has always had cold sores - I never have. So despite living in close quarters for almost 2 decades I managed not to "catch" them... I'm the sort of person who catches everything going so it can't be that contagious!

Original poster
firstimer30s · 04/12/2016 18:13

Thanks Lulu and others - that makes me feel better

OP posts:
NerdsAndMonsters · 04/12/2016 18:13

You can't be sure it was Nanny though.......you said DD goes to nursery earlier on..........could have been another child or nursery worker.

mimishimmi · 04/12/2016 18:13

YABVU, I'm sure you would have been equally furious had she called in sick because she had a coldsore.

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