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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Nanny gave DD a cold sore - furious. AIBU?

436 replies

firstimer30s · 04/12/2016 17:31

As the title said, nanny came to work with a cold sore. She said she is careful so like an idiot I didn't question it. DD (3 yrs old) developed a fever, sore throat and now a huge cold sore. I am so angry and I'm kicking myself. DD will now have this for life.
Nanny says she is sorry.
What would you do?

OP posts:
IAmNotACat · 04/12/2016 17:47

It's just a cold sore. You're overreacting. Most people get cold sores occasionally, and if you were this concerned you should have told your nanny to go home.

It's a virus. Viruses are infectious. The nanny didn't deliberately infect anyone, it's just something that happens.

Alfieisnoisy · 04/12/2016 17:48
Hmm

Had she phoned in sick with a cold sore I goes you would be on here moaning about that too.

You knew she had a cold sore, you let her work. You knew the risks and took a gamble.. A bit late now to be moaning about the Nanny.

OnionKnight · 04/12/2016 17:50

It's only a cold sore.

NerdsAndMonsters · 04/12/2016 17:51

Seriously,who calls in sick at work with a cold sore?!
^
Not as rare as you might think in health care situations, with very immunosuppressed patients.

DailyMailSucksAss · 04/12/2016 17:51

It's not the end of the world. I used to get cold sores (passed on my a friend in junior school i think) regularly as a child but they've become really rare as I've gotten older. Usually one every 2-3 years.

MerryMarigold · 04/12/2016 17:53

It's odd. Dh gets hideous coldsores, but none of my 3 kids, or me, have ever got one. Maybe if her immunity was already low. I don't see how she passed it on though other than kissing her on the face.

user1480182169 · 04/12/2016 17:54

DD will now have this for life

Along with about 90% of the population. It's a sodding cold sore, if thats he worst thing your child has count yourself very lucky!!

DrinkingCocktailsInTheSunshine · 04/12/2016 17:55

I would be upset if my child developed one but like PP have said, there isn't anything you can do and it was probably passed on before the nanny realised she had it.

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 04/12/2016 17:56

YABU

She can't do right for doing wrong.

littlesallyracket · 04/12/2016 17:56

You should have sent her home if you wanted to be sure. You agreed to take the risk. I'm sure she was careful, but there's no foolproof way of completely avoiding any chance of passing it on short of just completely staying away.

If it's any consolation I had about three cold sores as a kid and then never had another one again, so it's perfectly possible they won't even recur in your DD. As people have said, loads of us carry the virus without knowing it.

Also, kids are rubbish at hygiene. Will you be completely isolating your DD from all other human beings until every last trace of her cold sore has gone? I doubt it...

MissVictoria · 04/12/2016 17:56

I genuinely don't know anybody with a cold sore, and the thought of having herpes on my face actually makes me feel queasy. It would probably be a dealbreaker for me dating someone if they had it.

ShowMePotatoSalad · 04/12/2016 17:58

I'm confused...why would she have a cold sore for life?

The virus remains dormant in your body but she may never have another cold sore again.

About 90% of people will get a cold sore in their lifetime...I doubt it would be easy to avoid. I've had a cold sore once...never had one since.

YABU.

Original poster
firstimer30s · 04/12/2016 17:58

Re isolating her , yes, she can't go to nursery once it's contagious, it's very serious in little ones

OP posts:
Fishcakey · 04/12/2016 17:58

Total over-reaction! It's a bloody cold sore, hardly life threatening.

VladmirsPoutine · 04/12/2016 17:59

Aren't cold sores basically herpes? an STD?

Original poster
firstimer30s · 04/12/2016 17:59

Been told by pharmacist that once it's awakened , recurrence is common

OP posts:
BitOutOfPractice · 04/12/2016 17:59

MissVictoria you have undoubted dated someone with the virus. Chances are you have the virus. Attitudes like that are so offensive and ridiculous.

Patriciathestripper1 · 04/12/2016 17:59

I'd be gutted too op and feel horrible for you. I'm reading others responses as if it's nothing to them but I would feel like you. I remember when my DD was two a relative (who had cold sore) went to kiss her goodbye and I shouted NO so loudly that DD burst Into tears with shock! My relative was a bit upset but not as upset as I would have been if she had passed on her cold sore!

I really feel for you and your Dc x

dementedpixie · 04/12/2016 17:59

Yes she can. There is no exclusion period for cold sores

ghostyslovesheets · 04/12/2016 17:59

does your nanny get sick pay?

If so - would you have paid her sick pay for 3-5 days while it healed ?

if not YABU - it's a cold sore - my God mother gave me mine when I was 2 - not on purpose - just an accident - I have managed to live them for the past 44 years without major incident!

almondpudding · 04/12/2016 18:00

There's nothing you can do about it OP.

Obviously, as you've experienced, contracting herpes simplex can give someone severe symptoms. The symptoms your child in later occurrences will likely not be severe.

All you can do now is teach your child hygiene so they don't make someone else sick.

Obviously it's not that easy to catch or 30% of people wouldn't be herpes free!

MissVictoria · 04/12/2016 18:00

Actually cold sores CAN be life threatening. OK its typically in newborns, but it does happen.

W8woman · 04/12/2016 18:00

70% of the population are carriers.

You need to get a grip.

To those suffering, Lysine tablets available freely in the vitamins section of Boots and Amazon prevent eruptions.

DailyMailSucksAss · 04/12/2016 18:00

Fair enough MissVictoria but considering OP can't just abandon her dd over a coldsore do you have any properly helpful advice?

frikadela01 · 04/12/2016 18:00

I genuinely don't know anybody with a cold sore, and the thought of having herpes on my face actually makes me feel queasy. It would probably be a dealbreaker for me dating someone if they had it.

Of course you do. Just because you haven't seen someone with one doesn't mean they don't have the virus. It's incredibly common in this country. Unless you happen to meet someone in the midst of an active cold sore youre highly unlikely to know whether the person has the virus or not.

I had a cold sore when I was 12 and haven't had one since (I'm 31). I will always carry the virus. It may flare up it may not. Dp has found out about it literally 2 minutes ago when I told him off the back of this thread.