Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

WIBU to not let my 12 year old son get his ears pierced?

205 replies

pineappletrees · 03/12/2016 16:26

My 12 year old son really wants his ears pierced. My daughter has it done so I can't use the age excuse (she is 10). I just think that they look awful on don't suit boys. WIBU to say no?

OP posts:
nokidshere · 08/02/2021 22:18

I think 12ish is about the right time to discuss if that's what they want. Neither of my boys were (or are at 19&22) interested in piercings but if they had asked I would have said no until they were 16.

I had my ears pierced 45yrs ago but haven't worn earrings for about 10 yrs now but they definitely are still useable and haven't closed.

Sweettea1 · 08/02/2021 22:28

My ds got his done when 8 after pestering for so long just the one. He just turn 13 now an still loves his earing i worried he would get picked on when starting high school but no problems. Quite a few boys in his year have ears pierced.

C152 · 08/02/2021 22:35

Yes, YABU, as you don't have an issue with your daughter getting her ears pierced. Just make sure he gets them done at a reputable place.

Chloemol · 08/02/2021 23:43

YABU

nocoolnamesleft · 08/02/2021 23:44

ZOMBIES! ZOMBIES! Earrings don't look good on ZOMBIES!

Fastestbrownie · 09/02/2021 00:41

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Sweettea1 · 09/02/2021 01:00

Why do they not look good on boys? They look exactly the same on girls ears are ears boy or girl!

Ellmau · 09/02/2021 01:08

It's 2021

It wasn't when the poster asked the question...

ConsuelaHammock · 09/02/2021 01:13

I agree it looks awful on boys but if your daughter has hers pierced I’m not sure what you can say . Try ‘No, it looks naff!’

saltinesandcoffeecups · 09/02/2021 01:31

I think I prescribe to the ‘no permanent modifications’ until an adult and fully supporting yourself. (In other words,, you can afford to fix it if you decide it’s not what you want and can’t blame me for allowing it). I don’t think a pierced earlobe(s) fall into permanent modification territory. Gauges definitely would, and I’d be on the lookout for that...but most won’t take that step.

saltinesandcoffeecups · 09/02/2021 01:33

Oh crap...zombie thread. I’m now curious if the Op, allowed it.

Ohhhh...maybe she did and her son turned out to be a carpet man who stormed out!

Scarlettpixie · 09/02/2021 01:45

Yabu to say no if you have allowed your daughter to get hers done. Whether or not it looks good on boys is just opinion. I think it looks fine. My DS used to ask but was told to wait until school holidays. By then he had changed his mind.

Mostlylurkingiam · 09/02/2021 01:49

None of your concern if you think it looks good or not, you let your daughter, you shouldn't have double standards.

bloodyhairy · 09/02/2021 01:53

YANBU.

Tinkerbell456 · 09/02/2021 01:59

I don’t mind pierced ears on men, for full disclosure. He is 12, and while still a child I truly don’t think this is an unreasonable thing. I have to agree with most in saying that is he was female it would be pretty much a no brainer. Not like a tattoo, that is there forever. If he regrets it, or is somewhere it isn’t appropriate, he can just leave his ears bare.

CheshireDing · 09/02/2021 06:06

Tinkerbell456

“I don’t mind pierced ears on men, for full disclosure. He is 12”

No he’s not, he’s about 17 now!

I wonder if OP let him have it done 😂🤔

OscarWildesCat · 09/02/2021 08:15

My DS wanted this done at 12 (my DD had hers done by this point). I had the same worries as you and fobbed him off for a while, he’s 14 now and very grateful I didn’t let him.

OscarWildesCat · 09/02/2021 08:16

🙄 zombie, can’t believe I didn’t check

VinterKvinna · 09/02/2021 08:18

@pineappletrees

My 12 year old son really wants his ears pierced. My daughter has it done so I can't use the age excuse (she is 10). I just think that they look awful on don't suit boys. WIBU to say no?
You let your dd do it 2 years younger, you cant not let your ds do it
VinterKvinna · 09/02/2021 08:19

@OscarWildesCat

🙄 zombie, can’t believe I didn’t check
Oh ffs

You'd think that @mumsnet would be able to highlight zombie threads somehow

lazylinguist · 09/02/2021 22:40

I guess I would feel I had to let my ds have it done, since my dd was allowed (though didn't have it done until she was 15). But I must admit I think it looks awful on boys and men. Fortunately ds has no desire to have it done.

lazylinguist · 09/02/2021 22:45

It's 2021.

Grin Even if it had been 2021 when the OP posted, I don't see why that would make any difference to whether she liked the look of pierced ears on boys or not. It's funny how we're all allowed to comment on all kinds of clothes, accessories etc and whether they look good on men/women/people in general, but not ear piercings apparently.

Linning · 09/02/2021 23:24

@lazylinguist

It's 2021.

Grin Even if it had been 2021 when the OP posted, I don't see why that would make any difference to whether she liked the look of pierced ears on boys or not. It's funny how we're all allowed to comment on all kinds of clothes, accessories etc and whether they look good on men/women/people in general, but not ear piercings apparently.

I think it’s because it’s one thing to have an opinion and a total other to think that because you do not like something on someone or a specific group of people, they should be prevented from wearing them.

Mumsnet is continuously outraged at sexism targeting women, especially when it comes to controlling what women can say or do with their own bodies yet seem to be quite happy to encourage women to enforce sexists ideas and prevent personal choices and body autonomy when it comes to their boys.

It’s easier to teach your kid that society is wrong for judging others for not fitting the norm than it is to teach your son he should not grow up to try and be sexist and judge/control women’s bodies and appearances all while trying to control what he does with his body on the bases that he is a boy and not a girl and therefore should behave and dress like one. (Whatever that means and translate into in the average sexist Mumsnetter’s head tbh.)

Berriesandpineconess · 10/02/2021 00:43

I think it looks cool on boys, i'd let him

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 10/02/2021 00:46

My rule for either sex is they have to be old enough to take care of them themselves, ie do all the cleaning and turning etc

12 is old enough so you should probably let him!

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Join Mumsnet Log In

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.

Swipe left for the next trending thread