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Original poster

WIBU to not let my 12 year old son get his ears pierced?

205 replies

pineappletrees · 03/12/2016 16:26

My 12 year old son really wants his ears pierced. My daughter has it done so I can't use the age excuse (she is 10). I just think that they look awful on don't suit boys. WIBU to say no?

OP posts:
theoldtrout01876 · 04/12/2016 13:47

Just be careful. When my son was that age he wanted gauges. I said no. He asked to have them pierced instead. I figured it was a compromise. What I didnt know was that from a regular piercing they start stretching the holes. I dont know how I thought they got gauges but genuinely didnt know they started from a regular piercing. He had long hair at the time so by the time I found out what he was doing they were pretty stretched out. He kept going until they were stretched enough to get the top of a coke bottle through EWWWWWW . Then took them out. He is 22 now and has big dangly flappy earlobes with a hole in. You can see through it even with no ring in it. Its GOSS

Floggingmolly · 04/12/2016 14:31

Touchy, Onion. Grin. You claimed it hadn't held you back in life, that may or may not be just your perspective...

But we'll never know, because it's none of our business. Whatever.

MrsLion · 04/12/2016 14:34

Boys with their ears pierced looks beyond revolting imo. Especially when it's both.

My DDs will be allowed when they are around 12 but my DS will not be allowed. Obviously there will come a time when he will do it anyway if he wants to, but while he's a child and needs parental permission I will say no.

YANBU op.

TrickyD · 04/12/2016 15:02

I think Flogging is asking because there are certain professions where visible piercings are not viewed as OK. The law, medicine, the forces etc.

Yes, and by allowing the piercings, like it or not, you are severely limiting your son's future.

Sparklingbrook · 04/12/2016 15:07

I don't like the ear stretching thing. Makes my stomach turn. I watched a programme where someone's has actually snapped at the bottom and it all had to be sewn back together.

MrsJayy · 04/12/2016 15:27

Dd1 had a stretched ear it made me queasy looking at it and when she wore a spike in it it did go back as she hadnt over stretched it she can wear normal earrings again. She has just got the bit across from her lobe is it treghus pierced doesnt make me feel half as heavey

StrangeLookingParasite · 04/12/2016 15:29

Sexists and snobs and judgy-pants, oh my.

it looks as rough as bedamned on boys

What a load of utter crap.

MrsJayy · 04/12/2016 15:29

Urm my Dd is a police officer they allow pierced ears Confused having an ear pierced at 12 isnt going to hinder any future career

StrangeLookingParasite · 04/12/2016 15:33

I don't have pierced ears myself as I'm too scared of needles so maybe I'm seeing it wrong but I would have thought once earrings had been worn for a few years the holes won't close any more.

So you basically have no personal experience at all of this?
I have to wear earrings every day, or mine would close up, even thirty years later. Even nose piercings (and nose skin is a lot thicker and more scar-prone than ears) leave only a tiny mark when they're taken out.
I don't think you know what you're talking about.

Angelitron · 04/12/2016 15:36

They look awful, I would say no. ( but my boy is 7 and I still have that level of control/influence)

I haven't allowed DD to have hers pierced and she is 9. She stopped asking a while back.

Angelitron · 04/12/2016 15:37

I had mine pierced as a child I haven't worn earings for over ten years but last week forced a pair in.

They don't always close and they are noticeable.

Basicbrown · 04/12/2016 15:47

So I guess it's OK to say that gauges are awful as it applies to both make and females.

It does make me laugh all this mock horror at 'snobbery'. Everyone however perfect they are has ingrained attitudes. I suspect that those in denial of any non-equality attitudes are just less open to considering their own prejudices. You can say I'm wrong, OK and I probably am. But I bet there is something you think because of experience/upbringing/background that I think is wrong.

Tbh actually I hadn't considered gauges, I think I won't consent to ear piercing for either of my dds tbh, unless they are banned at school. They can have them done when they can do so without me agreeing.

natwebb79 · 04/12/2016 15:59

'It just really chavtastic on boys isn't it and if I saw a boy with his ears pierced I would assume he wasn't particularly intellectual and his mother was guiding him not to expect much out of life.'

Ffs. This has got to be a wind up.

OnionKnight · 04/12/2016 16:57

Flogging I'm a senior project manager and yes my piercings and tattoos are tolerated Grin

I even have mild Cerebral Palsy which draws even more attention to myself.

Antonia87 · 04/12/2016 20:26

I think its fine to explain to him that boys and girls are different and there are different rules. Pierced ears on a boy are a social indicator whether we like it, agree with it or not. You run the risk of him being labelled ( not in a good way) if he has pierced ears but the same thing is not true of girls . You might find that teachers will make assumptions about him , whether conscious or not and that is something you would want to avoid. Entirely different scenario once he is 16 and it can be viewed as a rebellion or adherence to a particular teenage sub cultural group.

latebreakfast · 04/12/2016 20:57

I think its fine to explain to him that boys and girls are different and there are different rules. Pierced ears on a boy are a social indicator whether we like it, agree with it or not. You run the risk of him being labelled ( not in a good way) if he has pierced ears but the same thing is not true of girls

Would you use the same argument to encourage a woman to shave her legs or wear make-up for a job interview even though a man wouldn't have to do so?

TinklyLittleLaugh · 04/12/2016 21:17

My DS had his ear pierced in his early teens. I don't think he actually wears it nowadays but it certainly hasn't stopped him going to a very good uni, getting a 2i blah, blah blah. Mind you he was called a "pikey" by some of his delightful uni posh boy course mates. By the sound of it, some of their mums are posting on here.

Onion you sound very cool and sorted.

corythatwas · 04/12/2016 23:14

"I think its fine to explain to him that boys and girls are different"

Gosh, I must have let my mind wander in biology class: I had gathered there was a difference but I didn't realise it was about the ears. Have dh and I been doing it wrong all these years???Shock

MommaGee · 04/12/2016 23:20

LMAO @ Cory

Antonia87 · 05/12/2016 09:33

Latebreakfast- yes ,I would as it happens. If the field I was applying to had a particular dress code. You can start your one woman campaign to make the world a different and less sexist place but if I really needed a job I would play the bloody game and slap on a bit of lippy. I dont agree with it but I probably wouldn't have the luxury to stick to my own principles and be jobless. There are also bigger fish to fry in terms of women's rights such as child marriage and reproductive rights.
Just the same as my husband would shave his face and wear a good suit for a job interview in his field as that is what is expected. He also would show up without big holes in his ears, dripping in bling, as I also suspect he wouldn't get the job if he did, in his field. That's just life whether we like it or not . By all means , lead the vanguard to change peoples hearts and minds about boys with earrings but I wouldn't be happy for my child to be part of that social experiment and possibly limit his life chances.

Pagwatch · 05/12/2016 09:41

You can't operate double standards imho.
I didn't let DD get hers done until she was 14 and that was after relenting as I'd always thought 16 was more appropriate.
As she's a swimmer it was a pain in the arse anyway - she had to wait ages until there was a gap in her swimming schedule.

MommaGee · 05/12/2016 12:51

Big holes in his ears and dripping in bling is a bit of an overexcitement from a stud in an ear!

noeffingidea · 05/12/2016 20:08

Loling at 'limiting his life chances' through having ordinary pierced ears. Honestly, some of you need to get out a bit more.
My son had pierced ears and piercings in other places. He even has tattoos Shock. He's doing perfectly fine for himself, in fact probably better than a lot of people who post on here, I suspect.

SirChenjin · 05/12/2016 20:14

It would depend on the job - NHS here, and you would be asked to take out multiple piercings. That's not us not 'getting out more' Hmm. DH works in finance, and again, multiple piercings (and tattoos) wouldn't go down well in his company. Fine if you want to have them, but there are still many workplaces where you'd be asked to remove them/cover up - if you got through the interview with them in the first place. In that respect you are limiting your life chances (although I suspect someone with multiple piercings would choose a career in a sector which is less conservative). Nothing with wrong with either approach.

Sparklingbrook · 05/12/2016 20:16

I agree SirChenjin there are certain professions and jobs where it's a no-no. That's just fact.

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