WIBU to not let my 12 year old son get his ears pierced?

[pineappletrees]

My 12 year old son really wants his ears pierced. My daughter has it done so I can't use the age excuse (she is 10). I just think that they look awful on don't suit boys. WIBU to say no?

The sexism here is quite disgusting.
Your personal opinion shouldn't affect what another person [even a child] wants to have done to their body. And not everyone thinks it looks bad.

Seems a bit silly to pretend that boys and girls aren't perceived differently when it comes to all sorts of things including ear piercing.

And yes, it's exactly the same as things like shaving legs. However we might wish it weren't so, women are judged differently for having hairy legs/ underarms. No one bats an eyelid at a man's hairy underarms, and I have been really struggling to explain why this is the case to dd (12). She says surely it's just as unhygienic on men, and men often sweat more anyhow! Can't really argue with that.

She also constantly queries why women are under pressure to wear make up when men are seen as 'perfect as they are'. Even men who wear the blingiest earrings/ jewellery are unlikely to wear lipstick on a daily basis.

I'm very glad she's showing such feminist leanings, but I'm not sure it's going to be the easiest path...

pastizzi - I quite agree.

Like it or not, pierced ears on girls is a far more common and widespread fashion, less so on boys - and it tends to be more of a class thing amongst boys, so of course that elicits cries of 'snob' (which of course could be an example of inverse snobbery in action...), much like pierced ears in babies.

You may get judged on having eating in for an interview but find it very hard to believe that they're subtly staring at your ear lobes to see if it's ever been pierced. We're talking about a kid who might change his mind within a few years out of taste, or because he does work experience in a law firm and someone says "sorry son, we don't have your sort here with your girlie ratings, this isn't the punk era you know laddy!" and so he opts to get rid.
Telling a child that he'll ruin his future over an earring at his age is crazy.

If his sister asks if she can not have makeup for Christmas cps she doesn't want to wear it that's also OK because even if we acquiesce as adults, we should allow our kids to not conform in the safety net of childhood

My DTs are nearly 11 and it would be a big fat no from me regardless of gender.
A bit rich given that I had my ears pierced at 4, but I don't like seeing kids with ear-rings.

Your personal opinion shouldn't affect what another person [even a child] wants to have done to their body.

What? Of course one's personal opinion affects what their own child does to their body.

Exactly Koala. One of the most ridiculous posts I have ever seen on mumsnet.

Why would a parent not influence their child's behavior? That's the whole point of parenting.

Umm, if he opts for the stretchers type of earring which makes the hole progressively larger then yes, this would be noticed in an interview for a law firm and possibly count against him.

Says who Antonia? My son got a very competitive apprenticeship with a law firm and is currently working his way up.

But Antonia there's no indication he is. He asked for an earing. It's like saying no to an earing cos face tattoo's are bad and we all know ear piercings are the weed of the body modification world

It just really chavtastic on boys isn't it and if I saw a boy with his ears pierced I would assume he wasn't particularly intellectual and his mother was guiding him not to expect much out of life

What a pile of judgemental crap. Biggest on this thread, and thats saying something with some of the snobby views here!

I agree with bertie

I don't like pierced ears on anyone. Why do people want holes in their bodies

That said, at 12 he's your child and it's your decision.

I was a lawyer in a large international firm that was as stuffy as anything. Several of my male colleagues had their ears pierced (before they started working) no one batted an eyelid. a couple also had longish hair - shock, horror. I despair that so many people think it is ok to allow for a girl but not a boy. What century are we living in?

There's such a lot of shit on this thread. Boys ear piercing threads always bring out the prudes.

Antonia I've not worn make-up for 20 years yet still manage to get hired and promoted. Strangely my employers seem to want me for my skills, experience and expertise plus a load of other boring stuff like passion for my work and a good work ethic. Maybe you're playing the wrong game?

I just said " Not until you're 15" to both of mine. She changed her mind and at 42 still doesn't have pierced ears. He had one ear done when he was 19 and a student. He wore an earring for about 18 months then abandoned it. I think 10 and 12 is far too young but I also think it's none of my business 😬

Barbarian surely you must have some physical asset you cab use to get a job? Was it pretty ratings?? Apparently everyone's too busy looking fo.r old piercing scars to read your cv

Well I'm clean and have all my own teeth Momma but I'm sad to say that's about it.

The prudes? Oh the irony of that judgemental post!

I agree with Bertie. I'd say no not until he's left home and it's up to him then. At that age you buy your children their clothes, get their hair cut etc to make them look smart, I see it as being the same. It is different for girls and boys as it's a societal norm of what looks smarter. I'd say to daughters to wear make up and shave their legs as well.

No, there's no irony in my post.

Oh but there is - absolutely. I suspect you simply don't see it (or choose not to).

No there isn't. I think people bleating on about piercings being awful are prudes. Judgemental, yes, ironic, no.