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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

WIBU to not let my 12 year old son get his ears pierced?

205 replies

pineappletrees · 03/12/2016 16:26

My 12 year old son really wants his ears pierced. My daughter has it done so I can't use the age excuse (she is 10). I just think that they look awful on don't suit boys. WIBU to say no?

OP posts:
SirChenjin · 07/12/2016 08:43

The latter then.

SirChenjin · 07/12/2016 08:45

Not just MN usual - it's hardly a widespread fashion amongst male children, and for good reason.

usual · 07/12/2016 08:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

bigbuttons · 07/12/2016 08:51

There is difference between judging people merely on external appearances ( piercings),which many posters are doing and judging people for having such a shallow attitude about piercings in the first place.

2rebecca · 07/12/2016 08:56

I would say no but would have said no to the girl at that age too. There is no rush to get piercings.

SirChenjin · 07/12/2016 08:56

Hardly usual.

JacquesHammer · 07/12/2016 09:23

This thread is MN handwringing at its best

"But he won't get a joooooob".

Yes. Because when he's had his ear pierced for a number of years and can - you know - easily take the earring out he's really going to find a minute hole in his lobe the reason he doesn't get a particular job.

Maybe he won't want a job where a dress code is the norm. Maybe he will. But extrapolating a kid getting his ear done at 12 with lack a struggle for gainful employment is nonsensical

StrangeLookingParasite · 07/12/2016 10:19

But extrapolating a kid getting his ear done at 12 with lack a struggle for gainful employment is nonsensical

Great for hyperbole, though.

BathshebaSnowflakeStone · 07/12/2016 10:23

YABU. I had mine done at 12, they're his ears. Mine have chosen their own clothes since they were 2 and their own hairstyles since they were 4. His ears will close up if he changes his mind.

MommaGee · 07/12/2016 11:41

Heateall you'd seriously tell a 12 yo to wear make up and shave her legs so she can meet societies stereotypes??

SirChenjin · 07/12/2016 11:44

His ears will close up if he changes his mind

Not necessarily true - the hole mark often stays. It all depends on whether the adult man he'll be happy to live with a (minor) body modification that he did as a child.

bigbuttons · 07/12/2016 12:36

WTF. I have just seen the post from heateallthebuns- long live female emancipation.

Camomila · 07/12/2016 12:51

Personally I don't like piercings on boys/men but I wouldn't stop DS having one at X age if his hypothetical sister was allowed.

I would only treat hypothetical children differently re piercings if I had reasons other than gender e.g. Different school rules, one being more sensible at a certain age and would look after it properly etc, allergies etc...

FlyingElbows · 07/12/2016 13:15

Mr Elbows is a shirt and tie wearing professional involved with designing instruments of national security for this country. He has a professional cv like the doomsday book. He has managed to achieve all this despite the horrific societal suicide of an earring. He is both pierced and tattooed. He has managed to never be incarcerated nor does he suffer from thickness or a mother who was some sort of failure. Sometimes, just to fuck with the pearl clutchers, he might even take it out! Horror! We're not safe in our beds.
I am pierced x5 but I have the holy vagina, so I can do what I like. Fuck you, patriarchy!
Young Elbows 1 is pierced and went through a stretchers phase. She is a student working with children. She has the holy vagina, so she can do what she likes. Fuck you patriarchy!
Young Elbows 2 has an earring and half his head shaved. He has a penis, so he can do what he likes. Fuck you... oh no, son, you are the patriarchy. Oh well fuck that you'd just better get back in your socially prescribed box and just deal with the head fuck that is "gender equality" as long as it's only what some self important woman has told you is equal!!

I do love a mumsnet double standard. Grin

bigbuttons · 07/12/2016 13:51

elbows. I salute you and your holy vag. I do hope you shave your legs though, because if you don't then that really isn't on .

Oblomov16 · 07/12/2016 14:13

I don't like it on boys. Loads of other boys that ds1 knows, at 12, have it. I think it looks really chavy and cheap and nasty.

usual · 07/12/2016 14:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

pooh2 · 07/12/2016 15:05

Yabu, sounds really sexist

noeffingidea · 07/12/2016 15:23

sirchenjin it's only really noticeable if heavy earings are worn, or those with a very thick wire.
Normal small studs with a a very thin wire will possibly leave a tiny hole, which is barely noticeable. At least to normal people. People who aren't obsessed with other people's earlobes, that is.

SirChenjin · 08/12/2016 10:36

No - Forget other people, it depends on whether the person in question is the owner of said earlobes, and whether that person is bothered by a permanent modification they made to their body as a child. Normal studs can and do leave holes - doesn't have to be heavy earrings or a thick wire, and it doesn't have to be something that anyone (normal or otherwise) actually obsesses over.

Andyguy · 08/02/2021 21:48

I am a male with both ears pierced and mainly wear small ear studs in both holes. As you say its a fashion and they can always be taken out. At the end of the day the holes might be permanent but they are only small and not too noticeable if he ever gets fed up of wearing earrings.

CovidCraziness · 08/02/2021 21:50

they don't look good on boys

I'm your opinion. I guess has a different opinion.

CovidCraziness · 08/02/2021 21:50

they don't look good on boys

In your opinion. I guess he has a different opinion.

Andyguy · 08/02/2021 22:07

Thats why us boys get a pierced ear. If it wasn't rebellious we wouldn't want it.

Oysterbabe · 08/02/2021 22:13

He son is practically an adult now so is probably making his own choices.

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