WIBU to not let my 12 year old son get his ears pierced?

[pineappletrees]

My 12 year old son really wants his ears pierced. My daughter has it done so I can't use the age excuse (she is 10). I just think that they look awful on don't suit boys. WIBU to say no?

Bliley, this thread has drawn all the snobs out from under their rocks

I thought I might be, but they don't look good on boys

They don't look good on 10 year old girls , either, OP, sorry.

We can't possibly be sexist against girls or encourage them to do something because it's attractive or stop them from doing something because it's unattractive but for boys ots entirely OK to make these judgements.
It's like the leggings thread - girls should be empowered to dress how they want cos that's feminism but boys should conform and think about how what they're wearing reflects on them (and their parents poshness)

My 13 year old DS hasn't shown any interest in having his ears pierced but if he did I wouldn't have a problem with it.

My 21 year old DSS got his ear pierced when he was about 14 or so. He doesn't wear an earring now and I really don't think it has made any difference to anything he's done so far in life.

I am not down with the kids now but when I were a lass most of the boys in my class had pierced ears (usually just the one). It wasn't an issue then...

I knew some boys with pierced ears when I was 12, and I was aware they thought having pierced ears was very cool. I didn't, but I also disagreed on the coolness value of girls' earrings and bellybutton piercings and I was very much a lone voice on all these.

I'm firmly with Bertie here. I think it looks horrible on boys (and men) and wouldn't allow it.Nothing Ivan do about it when they are adults obviously, but not before then.

It's honestly nothing to do with my feelings on how it looks. It's just that anything permanent is a no for me. I'd make an exception for girls' ear piercing because for a woman, having permanently pierced ears isn't going to draw even the slightest hint of criticism AND because it's much more likely that she's going to be part of a group of friends who all have pierced ears/are getting their ears pierced and since there's no potential for long term issues it doesn't make sense to insist on delaying.

I don't have a DD but if I did and she happened to be friends with girls who didn't have pierced ears or no plans to pierce ears then I probably would revert to the "it's permanent - decide later" point of view.

Most people- whether it is right or wrong- will inwardly think it looks rough and is therefore it is different to 12 year old girls having them done. I'm not proud of having that reaction but that would be my automatic reaction. The whole boy/girl debate wouldn't even enter my head. It is up to you whether you are comfortable with other people potentially making those assumptions OP.

Thinnest you would judge a 12 to boy but not a 13 to girl for looking rough so you can then say the girl/boy thing doesn't come into it because you're judging them differently

I would allow him to. I think 12 is a good age to be able to decide for themselves and to understand the implications.
Personally I'm not a fan of pierced ears for girls or boys, but there you go.
My eldest son went through a phase of having various body parts pierced - ear, tongue, nipple, eyebrow, starting at 15. He took them all out years ago and no scar remains.
Saying it's 'permanent' modification is stretching it a bit, I had my ears pierced twice, let them close up, and can't see any hole at all now.

You think? I don't know, I think piercings leave a mark.

I don't have pierced ears myself as I'm too scared of needles so maybe I'm seeing it wrong but I would have thought once earrings had been worn for a few years the holes won't close any more.

Dh had his ears pierced aged around 25: he is in his mid-fifties and you can still see the scar if you know where to look. Don't think it's ever held him back in any way, though.

You can't have double standards!

It's not relevant that you think they don't look good. They're their own people. Comes across as so controlling.

I have seven piercings and three of my lobe ones have all but closed up - I'd have to force a needle through them (would bleed) to wear anything in them. I used to wear studs in them daily for 1-2 years.
If I didn't wear anything in my tragus or cartilege they'd close up much more rapidly I suspect.

I'm a bloke, I had my first ear piercing when I was 13 and now I have three, nobody has ever said that I look chavtastic and they've certainly not held me back in life.

Some posters ITT are absolute snobs.

I don't care what any says, earrings (and jewellery in general) looks silly on boys and men. It was only the 'naughty ' boys who had a pierced ear when I was at school (along with things like MUFC or NUFC shaved into the back of their heads).

Just say NO!

What do you do for a living, Onion?

I would just say no. Because he's 12 and earrings on boys look horrible.

Why is it any of your business Flogging?

I think Flogging is asking because there are certain professions where visible piercings are not viewed as OK. The law, medicine, the forces etc. To say that your piercings have never held you back implies that you work in a field where piercings are accepted, or at least tolerated, so they would not hold you back. If however you are a top QC with a piercing then clearly your piercing has not held you back, which would prove your point admirably.

Why don't you say he can have them pierced but not until the summer holidays. Schools are often quite strict about piercings as far as I know. That way if it's just a fad it should have passed by then.

I think ywbu not to let him have them pierced at that point though. I don't like ear piercings on men though I must admit.

It's not the same for boys as for girls.

I know that lots of people think it's fine for boys to have their ears pierced and that any disagreement with that is just prejudice. But when a girl is unlikely to face any prejudice for having their ears pierced, and a boy is likely to face some prejudice, it's a bigger and more serious decision for the girl.

Not least, remember, the holes are usually still visible even years after its healed, so it's as permanent (albeit more subtle) as having a tattoo.

YANBU