To be annoyed at being called "Mrs"

[Level75]

I kept my surname when I got married, so I'm Ms Level. Mrs Level is my mum. AIBU to be irritated when people call me Mrs Level. Is there any polite way to set them straight?

"it's Ms Level, thank you"

Why?
Does it matter?

I think YABU, but I know I'll get shouted down.

If someone doesn't know you're not ms then yab a bit u. People make mistakes...

If it's someone who knows you are ms but calls you Mrs anyway then YANBU.

I just say "It's Ms". I have noticed that more people do default to Ms nowadays though, which is good.

"Mrs" isn't my name. To take it a step further, I assume most people would object to being called "Mrs [DH first name] Level". I see it as an extension of the same thing.

I don't find it easy to correct people. In my ideal world if you don't know someone's marital status and how they want to be addressed I think people should use Ms as it's neutral.

But Fizz, if someone doesn't know if I'm married (the instance I'm thinking of) then why is it reasonable to call me Mrs?

I didn't change my name either, but I call myself Mrs rather than Ms. I can't bear it though when people insist on calling me Mrs [Husband'sname] when I've told them repeatedly that I haven't changed my name. It's just rude!

Wel, it depends who you're talking about. If it's someone hwho knows you have dd and you're married, then whynonnearth wouldn't they assume you were a Mrs?

Just grow a pAir and say 'I prefer Ms Level'. No need to make a big deal of it.

I agree with Fizz. If I don't know whether someone is a Miss or Mrs I always default to Ms. However, all my married friends, workmates and family always refer to themselves as Mrs, so In my world the default seems to be Mrs if they are married.

YABU. To me there are way more important things to worry about. Chill the fuck out. YABMFU (you are being mega fcking un reasonable)

I just tell them politely but firmly that I'm Ms. I didn't actually get round to marrying XDP, but if I had I wouldn't have taken his name and would have stayed Ms. Work/school/people who don't know me well can assume what they like, but most think I'm a divorcee.

OP I feel your pain.

My marital status is no ones business. I am Ms and I really hate when people presume to call me Mrs. Men don't change their title upon marriage and it utterly fucks me off that I am looked on in askance because I don't want to either.

Weirdly in the US and Oz, Ms is the norm. The Uk, not so much.

See the "I don't like it when people call me mum" thread. Literally no one can win.

Racking my brains - I don't know a single Ms! A couple of double barbells but they're still Mr and Mrs. So I suppose with a married parent my default would be Mrs. Unmarried (for 20 years) was Miss.

Some people think Ms means you are divorced. Not me, I am a married Ms but this has been a reply a few times when I have pointed out that I am not a Mrs.
My BIL was 15 when I got married and he thought it was very odd that I was keeping my own name. He asked why I was getting married if I didn't want to change my name. Bless him, he never saw the lecture on feminism coming (or my confession to inherent laziness which made me not want to contact many, many companies and organisations and inform them of my new name). I also pointed out that I could have changed my name by deed poll and saved a lot of time and money

Wow ashamed, that's a pretty strong opinion. It doesn't worry me, it irritates me. Just because there are more important things things to worry about doesn't mean all the small things fall away.

(Although actually I don't think it's that small, I think women being identified by their marital status is an unwelcome hangover from a patriarchal system which hasn't quite disappeared.)

Level that's not what I meant

someone assuming your surname is a married name isn't crime of the century. Chances are they're not out to offend you intentionally. If someone calls you Mrs level, you correct them and they carry on doing it then fine, they are a twat.

Personally I couldn't get worked up over it.

I get this a lot and I'm not even married!

Whenever DP and I check into a hotel or have any sort of official appointment about anything, it's always 'Hello, Mr & Mrs A...' I just smile and say 'Although he's Mr A, I'm Miss B' and laugh it off, but I do think it's surprising that in this day and age, people still assume that just because we're in our 40s we must be married.

It's obviously only a small thing, but it's a bit like being called by the wrong first name over and over again - it doesn't matter much in the big scheme of things but it becomes annoying when it happens over and over again for years.

You find it offensive so just correct the person doing it

Or all these people that seem to be getting it wrong all the time; tell them your name before they get the chance to get it wrong? That way you will avoid the inevitable

YABU
How are people that you've not told, supposed to know.
There are people that don't like being called 'Ms'
There are people that don't like being called Miss
There are people that don't like being addressed by their first name in a business / medical/ professional context
There's a thread running on here tonight started by someone who doesn't like being called 'Mum'

Just say "I prefer Ms" if it's someone that is going to go on saying your name. If it's someone who calls your name once (say from a waiting room) and you won't have an ongoing relationship with, then let it go. It really isn't important in life if people aren't able to read your mind / guess your preference over something that trivial.

I just thought aswell, if you wear a ring maybe people put two and two together?

Tbh whatever people do to try NOT to offend, they will end up offending.

I've been a

I agree OP. Being distinguished by marital status winds me up, particularly because I never took husbands name, and now we are divorced, I am not a Mrs anyway. I have told school countless times but still everything is 'mrs'. I am not married and even if I was, my marital status is irrelevant.