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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To not make nephews Christmas outfit

221 replies

Cindbelly · 01/12/2016 10:52

Bit of backstory as I don't want to drip feed.

DH and I have been NC with MIL and SIL 1 for roughly 2 years. MIL due to her refusal to accept that DH primary family are me and the DC and that coupled with her controlling behaviour. It had been going on for years slowly grounding him down and then one day She said some nasty things to him about not being able to love DD the same as DS as she looks like me and he walked away (long story short it wasn't that simple) she's never apologised and at the time couldn't understand why DH was hurt as her feelings are valid and she has every right to express them.
SIL 1 and I had a falling out 4 years ago when I cancelled babysitting for her as I was in the process of miscarrying. Apparently I was selfish as her DS would have been in bed and her sofa is more comfortable then mine anyway

I've also got SIL 2 who I used to be close to but we don't see that regularly now due to the strained relations between DH and family.

SIL 2 came over upset yesterday as her DD has just started nursery and needed a costume for the nativity which she couldn't find. I've told her it's not a big deal and a top with the character would be fine etc but she is young and financially struggling and was upset so I offered to make one.
Not a problem I'm fairly crafty and as it turned out had all the materials. I dropped it to her last night took about 6 or so hours in between dinner etc.

SIL 1 has just text me out of the blue to say that she has seen the costume it is not fair I am playing favourites between my nieces and nephews, her DS needs to be an elf for his school play, costume due in on Monday so she will be over Saturday afternoon to pick it up incase there are any adjustments that need to be made.

WIBU to text her back to fuck off?
Nephew doesn't even know I exist as they took down all the photos etc of us from MIL house.
Or am I letting my view of her cloud my judgement and should I make it seeing as show I've made one for my niece?
I will think IANBU to refuse but I'm doubting myself now

OP posts:

KinkyAfro · 01/12/2016 10:54

Fuck her off, not your problem

atticusclaw2 · 01/12/2016 10:57

I would actually just text "No"

SILfoundmyusername · 01/12/2016 10:57

Hello no you do not make the costume, different if she was reaching out to restart a relationship

Taylor22 · 01/12/2016 10:58

Wow. She's either a spectacular idiot or she's got balls.

I'd be civil. Just text back 'No, do not come to my home. I am not making the costume.'
Then black hole any replies.
If she does come to your home just ignore her or call the police.

Sonders · 01/12/2016 10:58

I like the fuck off option.

I mean, you could be more sensible and try to mend bridges and go down the "It's so nice of you to get back in touch, we'd love to start building a relationship with you again - I guess this means you're ready to apologise. How about you come round with the DC for tea and we talk about this costume? I can take measurements then to make sure it's absolutely perfect! Then we can meet every week for brunch and everyone will love each other and all the nasty things will be forgotten."

Or just stick with fuck off.

TheMerryWidow1 · 01/12/2016 11:08

ha fuck off is good or you could just not reply, let her turn up at your place and make sure you are out/don't open the door/or look blankly when she asks for the costume and make out you didn't see the text.

Original poster

Cindbelly · 01/12/2016 11:09

She's definitely got balls.

It was not the start of a reconciliation the text very clearly states that as 4 years ago I made it clear I didn't want to see her DS she is sticking to that, so she will need to pick up the costume on aturday incse it doesn't fit properly and needs adjusting in time for Monday.

OP posts:

TupsNSups · 01/12/2016 11:10

I think Fuck off works well.

4men1lady · 01/12/2016 11:12

Please do not do this. You know and we all know it's an absolutely crazy request and one that should not be entertained.

Ahickiefromkinickie · 01/12/2016 11:13

Wow. You should change your username from Cindbelly to Cinderelly.

I like the fuck off option too.

witsender · 01/12/2016 11:13

Hahaha haha!

StefCWS · 01/12/2016 11:15

If you don't tell her to fuck off your a door mat (sorry). By the way, the way she worded the txt was to bully you. What did your husband say? Please let us know what you sent back :-)

Soubriquet · 01/12/2016 11:16

Fuck off sounds good to me

kawolski · 01/12/2016 11:16

Seriously don't do it!

I can't believe some people have this much nerve.

Inthenick · 01/12/2016 11:17

Don't respond at all. It will drive her mad.

CaptainMarvelDanvers · 01/12/2016 11:18

She doesn't actually expect you to make it, she's trying to push your buttons and lure you into an argument.

Just text her back saying no then block her.

OohhThatsMe · 01/12/2016 11:18

Hang on, the reason 4 years ago that you didn't want to see her son was because you were miscarrying?

I would just say, "Sorry, SIL2 and I are friends, so I agreed to make the costume for her."

Greyponcho · 01/12/2016 11:19

I'm also in the "fuck off" camp. She's a cheeky bitch more front than Blackpool, expecting you to forget how shitty she has been to you, drop all your plans and magic up a bespoke costume. She's in dreamland & you ain't her magic fairy that can whip up an outfit from thin air 'just like that'.
Or maybe offer to do it & tell her how much the materials, time etc cost (make it extortionate, of course).
Or stick with plan A (tell her to fuck of to the other side of fuck: when she gets there, she can fuck off again. She should keep fucking off until she gets back here, then can fuck off again once more)

Lunde · 01/12/2016 11:20

Wow - very entitled - just text back that it's not happening

Greyponcho · 01/12/2016 11:20

This:

magicstar1 · 01/12/2016 11:21

I wouldn't text back at all...just keep ignoring the bitch

user1471950254 · 01/12/2016 11:21

Cannot get over the gall of some people! . I would say FO in a text but I would say you do not have the time to make a costume for her children when she has made it clear she wants to relationship with you.

Lunde · 01/12/2016 11:24

I wouldn't text back at all...just keep ignoring the bitch

But if OP doesn't reply she is going to turn up at OP's house

SapphireStrange · 01/12/2016 11:27

Send her back a text that goes:

Then block her.

Lindy2 · 01/12/2016 11:28

Don't reply and then go out for the day on Saturday.

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