To not make nephews Christmas outfit

[Cindbelly]

Bit of backstory as I don't want to drip feed.

DH and I have been NC with MIL and SIL 1 for roughly 2 years. MIL due to her refusal to accept that DH primary family are me and the DC and that coupled with her controlling behaviour. It had been going on for years slowly grounding him down and then one day She said some nasty things to him about not being able to love DD the same as DS as she looks like me and he walked away (long story short it wasn't that simple) she's never apologised and at the time couldn't understand why DH was hurt as her feelings are valid and she has every right to express them.
SIL 1 and I had a falling out 4 years ago when I cancelled babysitting for her as I was in the process of miscarrying. Apparently I was selfish as her DS would have been in bed and her sofa is more comfortable then mine anyway

I've also got SIL 2 who I used to be close to but we don't see that regularly now due to the strained relations between DH and family.

SIL 2 came over upset yesterday as her DD has just started nursery and needed a costume for the nativity which she couldn't find. I've told her it's not a big deal and a top with the character would be fine etc but she is young and financially struggling and was upset so I offered to make one.
Not a problem I'm fairly crafty and as it turned out had all the materials. I dropped it to her last night took about 6 or so hours in between dinner etc.

SIL 1 has just text me out of the blue to say that she has seen the costume it is not fair I am playing favourites between my nieces and nephews, her DS needs to be an elf for his school play, costume due in on Monday so she will be over Saturday afternoon to pick it up incase there are any adjustments that need to be made.

WIBU to text her back to fuck off?
Nephew doesn't even know I exist as they took down all the photos etc of us from MIL house.
Or am I letting my view of her cloud my judgement and should I make it seeing as show I've made one for my niece?
I will think IANBU to refuse but I'm doubting myself now

No need to resort to being rude back and swearing at her. Just sending a text either saying 'No' or if you really want to engage with her and give a reason I would send 'SIL2 and I are friends, you and I are not. I will not be making a costume for your child' and then leave it at that.

Personally I would keep it short and sweet.

Or you could text:

Oh THANK YOU for thinking of me, that is SO kind of you. There's NOTHING more I would like to do than spend my time making an elf costume and adjusting it at the weekend for you - I can't BELIEVE you've been in touch to ask, it is SO unexpected and thoughtful of you to even consider me for the job. But I'll have to say no anyway, unfortunately. You'll have to make it your-elf. Merry Christmas!

and then block.

Send her a link to cheap elf costumes, I'm sure Asda do them.
Or maybe photoshop an elf costume with little elf carrying a Fuck Off placard

"I'm terribly sorry, but I only make costumes for people who ask nicely, are friends, and don't behave like irretrievably repellent industrial grade bell ends with barbed wire tampons in"

100% tell her to fuck off xx

"Sorry I think you sent this message to the wrong number"

Would be my response.

I can't believe someone would do this unless it was a 'joke'

I'm rather fond of adapting one my favortite lines from Erin Brochovich

"Have you been trained to apologise? Cos you suck at it"

"Dear SIL. This is a grip. I suggest you get one"

I text back with 'SIL1 asked nicely. You, however, can fuck off'.

Please update us with further responses.

"I think you're getting confused between elves and house elves, SIL. Kindly fuck off back to Malfoy Manor and make it your own bad self."

Gosh. How old is sil1?! I'd conveniently leave the house on Saturday.

Please keep us updated on this. I love reading about people with this much cheek.

I agree with the "No." text.

That's some brass neck; I almost admire her.

I don't know what I would say in this situation but I do know there is no way I would make that costume.

If it is a 'joke' it's not very bloody funny. How dare she make you feel bad for not bending over backwards to accommodate her nasty tantrum!

She must be pissed if she thinks you'd do that?!

Wow so many replies!

100% real I haven't even changed my username to post (this is the name change I made for the mfp threads)

Believe it or not, this is the most reasonable thing she has said to me since I've known her which is why I was doubting if I Was being unfair.
If I had grown up with them all, I would definitely be spending all my time posting in the stately homes thread. (I could write a book about some of there behaviour, and even though we are NC DH still gets the odd facebook PM/Text from MIL with orders for things she needs him to do, dramatic goodbye messages with the words like she will always be here for him and DS - Not DD - when we split up etc)

Just got back from the nursery run, hence the delay in replying here.
I haven't replied to her yet, but I will as I don't want nephew to not have a costume, and I know that silence from me will be taken as compliance by her. Going by past history I expect MIL to start texting DH any minute.
I have no intention of making his costume really, but I do have to think about how to reply, as whatever I say she is going to twist it as me being the bad guy.

SIL 2 is 25 so not that young, but very immature and her BF is very young and dis-interested in their DC (they have twins - DN goes to a different school due to SN so all she needed to do is some Christmas head bobbles and wrap some tinsel round his wheelchair) Her BF struggled being so young and having a son with a disability and has never really recovered from that mindset. - Whole other thread.

I think you need to forewarn your dh about the text

SIL 1 is 38, much older then SIL 2 as someone asked

She favoured one of your kids. And she has the nerve to accuse you of favouring a nephew? I'd reply 'no can do' and ignore everything else.

I'm gobsmacked that someone could be so bloody cheeky. I mean seriously. The nerve

SIL1 is one cheeky bitch. Just reply once, it won't be happening then block.

Please tell us how you respond! And I understand your point about silence being taken as compliance but that genuinely is her problem. If her DS ends up disappointed you are not responsible for that.

With someone this cheeky you could make them an elf costume from unicorn fur with gold thread and you'd still be the bad guy somehow so don't dress it up "You have to be joking, not a hope" will do

I do have to think about how to reply, as whatever I say she is going to twist it as me being the bad guy.

That's the wrong way round. If whatever you say she is going to twist it as you being the bad guy, why bother thinking about how to reply?

In the nicest possible way, OP, toughen up and just say 'no'. You don't have a relationship with this person or her child; and his lack of costume will not be your fault or problem, whatever she or the MIL say.