Pocket money for a 17 year old

[ScotsHumphreys]

DS is 17, he worked from the age of 13 up until recently when the newsagent finished him. He's not worked since but says he has been applying.

He's at college full time doing a-levels. Because of our income he doesn't get ANY financial help from college.

From us he gets £5 a week pocket money, a mobile phone contract (£30 a month) and a monthly bus card (£35 a month) as well as all his clothes etc bought for him.

Problem is, because he's only getting £5 a week in actual cash he never has any money and is constantly nattering for more. (Can I have £3 to get some lunch in town? Can I have £4 to get a coffee with Alice? Can I have £10 to take Gemma to the fireworks display?") it's constant.

DH says £5 a week is enough as we pay all the other stuff for him and it was his choice to go to college instead of getting a job. I say it's not fair because he doesn't get any financial help from anywhere else because of what WE earn.

He said his own kids never got loads of pocket money whilst at college so I pointed out that they got college bursaries and travel costs because their (single) mother is on benefits. Do they DO have access to money, unlike DS.

What is the solution here??? DS is pissed off because all his friends either gets college bursaries, benefits or generous allowances from parents. He gets neither.

Oh and if he has time to socialise he has time to work tbh it keeps um off the street and out of trouble mine works Friday evening nd Saturday day is at collage at full time and it hasn't killed him he has more money than he would of ever got in terms of pocket money

But I have a black son no point Molly coddling him he will have to work twice as hard to just be given the same chances while his friends swan about with monthly money buy mum and dad my sons need the work exprince as he wont have the luxury of not having a refrance and a sound work ethic

I'm with you back! My kids hang out with mates constantly. They tend to walk the dog, play board/computer games, do cycle rides together, hang out in the skate park, do various jobs for my adult friends. They probably have one or two cafe hot chocolates a year and they are not frittering cash away on unnecessary crap.

'Jesus expat you do sound like you'd have 'em working at the coal face at 10 years old shock

There's really nothing wrong with being a kid at 17 and being able to have fun and go out with your friends. It's not immoral to be funded by your parents at that age. He's got a lifetime of work ahead of him. '

Oh, yeah, forced child labour is right up there with a £30/month mobile phone contract for a near adult, plus clothes, essentials, transport costs, etc.

He's pretty well-funded by his parents, he just thinks it's not enough and wants more. So go and work for it.

It is often very difficult for a 17year old to find a job, which I think some of the people on this thread should consider.

£5 is an incredibly small sum of money.
£30 is an obscene amount of money for a phone contract.
I would absolutely expect his parents to pay his bus fare to college.
He is old enough to buy his own clothes.

I really can't abide spoilt children.

user1471439727: I understand it can be difficult, but does it sound to you like he is trying? If I was convinced my child was applying to positions as they became available I wouldn't mind being a bit more liberal with the allowance, but the OP seems to believe the lad does virtually nothing, so the difficulty of finding work is irrelevant. He isn't looking.

Mc Donald's are always hiring it's just that most don't want to work

Times have probably changed but when I was doing my A levels I got a job at McDonald's and they were only interested in hiring people who could work 8 hour shifts. I used to work 3 x 8 hour shifts per week and extra when requested which was pretty tiring around studying for my A levels. It was part of the reason I jacked in the A levels and got a full time job. I was earning money but I had very little time left for enjoyment. I made the decision when I became a parent that I would support my children the best and most reasonable way that I can whilst they are studying to hopefully encourage them to stick at their studies. If they leave college and don't get a job then I wont give them a penny.

In 1999 I got £20 a week to cover my travel, lunches and social life. No mobile phone back then. I was lucky by the sounds of it!

I pay for all ds collage things travel included but if he want a social life outside watching me look after his younger siblings he has to work

I really can't abide spoilt children.

What does this mean? What does spoilt mean?

We gave our DCs the full amount of Child Benefit once they turned 17 (oldest is now 24, so not that long ago). They paid for their phones, clothes and any social stuff out of that. We paid for anything education related, for travel to and from school and college, and expensive items of clothes like shoes and coats. We provided a packed lunch if they wanted it, otherwise they paid for lunch themselves. They had their own bank accounts and it was a great way to learn how to manage the little money they had. They went through university without ever going overdrawn - in fact they managed money really well then, and still do now. We couldn't afford to give them more at the time, and they learnt quickly how to choose and prioritise their spending. Of course it was hard when their friends had more to spend, but that'll be true all the way through their lives.

The OP says her son worked from the age of 13 until recently when the newsagents let him go. The son says he has been applying for jobs.

He has worked for the last 4 years, it hardly sounds like he is lacking work ethic (the earning type).

poster Sixisthemagicnumber Sat 26-Nov-16 21:53:54

Yes times have changed they are actually a good employer however he's at tesco and I can't say how happy he is also I would like too add he gets a social life at work there's a load of them that are 16-17 who started together and he's always saying god you never guess what happed at work today also he curtly crushing on the girl in baked goods he will be staring driving lessons in January due to his job am I am very proud

Sixisthemagicnumber: She also said he does nothing day-to-day and leaves the place an absolute tip.

Wow. Ur husband is very unreasonable punishing your son for wanting to study instead of jumping into work.

U are unreasonable to think £20 a month is enough - to be honest , it's a joke.

My parents gave me £100 a month and still paid my phone bill. There was option of carrying lunch to school or spending my money to buy some. From the £100, I was to buy clothes and go out with friends. £20 is honestly nothing.

I didn't get any funding because of my folks income so I had to get a job. Passed 4 a levels working 16 hours a week and out at least 2 nights a week. Bought my own travel pass, lunch, phone contract and booze. My folks stocked the fridge at home and helped for things like driving lessons. I certainly didn't get pocket money. This was less than 10 years ago so it's not like times have changed that much. If I wanted more money I worked more hours. I worked 16-30 hours a week through uni too, going full time during the holidays. If he's applying endlessly and not getting a job i might be less Scrooge-like but I wouldn't be handing money over unless it was earned for chores or something.

I acknowledged that in an earlier post trifle. It would be interesting to know if he has always been a bit lazy and messy and if it only bothers OP now that he doesn't have a job. I would be telling him to clean up after himself whether he is earning or not. I wouldn't use pocket money as a bargaining tool to make a 17 year old tidy up though.

20 is eveything is your family hasn't much money he can't study but he can also start pulling his won weight

If you want to play you have to bloody start to pay

Spice22: It isn't nothing. It's £20 he gets for nothing. Big difference. It's great that you got more but that is no reason other families should be doing the same.

These bloody snowflake kids who can't possibly work and hour because they study 4 days a week

Leaving the eu will be the lest of our worrys if our young act like working in a supermarket is like going down the mines

My son is at sixth. He is studying very intense subjects (and he works very hard). I really want him to concentrate at school and do as well as he can. So, with that in mind, we pay his bus fare and give him £100 a month which has to cover lunches, going out with mates, anything else he may want.
When my daughter was at sixth we could not afford to do this and, as she was desparate to earn some money she ended up leaving school to get a full time job. I wish we had been able to support her more. She is doing well now but has had to work really hard.

£5 a week and you expect him to have any sort of social life with that?! Of course it's not enough

Having read more of your updates OP , I honk you should match EMA (it sucks when you feel you are punished for your parents' perceived success) and then if he wants more than £120 , he'd have to look harder for a job. I also wouldn't include the phone bill or college transport in that £120.

Trifle I'm just sharing my opinion, as requested by the OP. £20 a month is nothing. It gets you one Nando's date a month and that's it. The OP clearly doesn't want her son to struggle. £5 for a 17 year old is a joke.

OP , my brother is 12 and gets £50 a month (they pay for his phone , extra curricular activities and clothes) - it's literally just for going out with friends.
At your son's age, I got £100 and it was for clothes and friends.
I say that so you can compare. These were/are normal allowances from my experience.

Oh and I worked 14 hours a week as well, so getting an allowance didn't ruin my work ethic.