Pocket money for a 17 year old

[ScotsHumphreys]

DS is 17, he worked from the age of 13 up until recently when the newsagent finished him. He's not worked since but says he has been applying.

He's at college full time doing a-levels. Because of our income he doesn't get ANY financial help from college.

From us he gets £5 a week pocket money, a mobile phone contract (£30 a month) and a monthly bus card (£35 a month) as well as all his clothes etc bought for him.

Problem is, because he's only getting £5 a week in actual cash he never has any money and is constantly nattering for more. (Can I have £3 to get some lunch in town? Can I have £4 to get a coffee with Alice? Can I have £10 to take Gemma to the fireworks display?") it's constant.

DH says £5 a week is enough as we pay all the other stuff for him and it was his choice to go to college instead of getting a job. I say it's not fair because he doesn't get any financial help from anywhere else because of what WE earn.

He said his own kids never got loads of pocket money whilst at college so I pointed out that they got college bursaries and travel costs because their (single) mother is on benefits. Do they DO have access to money, unlike DS.

What is the solution here??? DS is pissed off because all his friends either gets college bursaries, benefits or generous allowances from parents. He gets neither.

£30 a month phone contract is ridiculous for a child/teen.

He needs a part time job. I worked pt through uni to support myself because my parents didn't give me pocket money.

I give my nearly 16 yr old £100 per month by bank transfer. He has to pay for travel and haircuts out of this. On top of that I pay his phone contract and school lunches. I also buy his basic clothes, ie socks, pants but he buys or saves for other stuff. He has a debit card and I feel.it's teaching him how to budget. Unfortunately these days money doesn't go far but it's taught him that it's better to eat lunch at home rather than keep wasting money eating out. I don't think this would have hit home if I had just kept giving him money when he asked. Once his gcse year is over I'll expect him to get a part time job.

Now is the prime time to get a job.
My 17 year old is in college but works 2 afternoon/evenings and all day Saturday. We pay his mobile phone contract as all 5 of our phones come out of 1 Direct debit but that's it.
All of his college friends have jobs. And I do actually mean all of them. It's bloody expensive to do anything these days and I personally am not finding the sort of lifestyle he wants . The boy wears £150 trainers. Which is absolutely fine because he buys them out of his own money.

When ds was that age, I have him £30 per week. This covered clothes, entrainment and food at college. He could choose to take sandwiches if he wanted to. His bus fare was 1:20 a day.

I covered his phone contract, essentials like shoes and coats, but everything else was up to him. It isn't actually that easy to find a job IMO at that age.

I'd give him a monthly allowance. 100 seems entirely reasonable!

If he wants more he earns it. He can either find paid employment which seriously isn't difficult especially on a zero hours or weekend contract, or he can generate work for himself. Wash cars, do odd jobs for people, babysitting. There's all sorts that can be done.

I've just suggested £100 a month to DS to cover phone, travel, clothes and pocket money and he's still saying it isn't enough

Which is when you laugh and tell him to get a job! It may not be 'enough' for everything he wants to buy but he is doing nothing for it so it really is at your discretion. Sounds ungrateful to me.

I wouldn't give him anything, once my kids are 16 no more pocket money they can earn there own with a part time job. They can keep up the job at college

He is still saying it isn't enough

oh is he now?

Why are you negotiating with him? Can you actually afford more, and even if you could, would you want to give him more?

Tell him he gets £100 a month, he can find a cheaper phone contract, shop for clothes in Primark and bike to college if it's not enough, he needs to cut his cloth accordingly.

Alice can buy her own coffee, Gemma can pay her own entrance fee into the fireworks and if he hasn't budgeted enough to join them that's his tough luck.

When ds was that age, I have him £30 per week. This covered clothes, entrainment and food at college. He could choose to take sandwiches if he wanted to. His bus fare was 1:20 a day.

I covered his phone contract, essentials like shoes and coats, but everything else was up to him. It isn't actually that easy to find a job IMO at that age.

DS 16 only gets £16 a month pocket money. He gets his college travel paid, a phone contract and basic clothes bought, or money for clothes - what I consider reasonable though, if he wants top end he has to top it up. He has a few set chores he has to do for his phone contract, nothing onerous. He works 2 shifts a week in a fast food place. I found him having no money after finishing his summer job was the best way of sharpening his will to get another job to be honest. No way can I afford to be subsidising his eating out, hanging around in London and going to gigs. Assuming you don't live in the middle of nowhere, I'm sure your son can find a job if he puts his mind to it!

£5 is what I got in the early 90s at 17 and it wasn't a lot then either.

Jobs don't just fall into your lap. When I stopped getting pocket money I managed to find a part time job pretty quick. If you're proactive about it there are quite a few out there. I went in and enquired wherever I could think of and got a job in a place that wasn't even advertising.

Mymumiswatching: He's not getting £5 a week though. He is getting £5 a week on top of money for travel, his phone and clothes. If the OP gave him 4-5 times as much per week but he had to pay for clothes, travel and his phone, would this be better? He is still saying this isn't enough.

I had a job while at school and uni (many moons ago) and my parents paid my travel pass for me. I took packed lunches from home (so subsidised by my parents) plus they gave me £10 a week as my crappy wages (this was before minimum wage) wasn't enough to get me out of their hair on a Saturday night

Travel costs are part of the costs of having a child, ditch the expensive phone contract and up his allowance.

Your DH is punishing him for daring to want to go to college rather than start work with nothing to offer an employer.

SheldonCRules: He is hardly a child. He should be looking properly for a part-time job to pay for more than the basics.

one of my teens works in an old people's home 7-3 Saturdays, another babysits at 5.50 per hour (earns about £60 a month), another serves at weddings/funerals/celebrations for a catering company.

All my teens have a sound understanding of money and are careful financially.

He's a child, just give him some pocket money. All children have to be in education now till 18 or an apprenticeship he's worked diligently since he was 13 and presumably not asked for pocket money in that time. If you want less you would get extra tax credits for a child in full time education as opposed to in a full time job to pay for things like his travel, I don't think it's unreasonable for you to pay his travel card, phone is a little expensive but I would maybe offer him travel plus £20 a week and get him clothes for birthdays and Xmas. £100 a month is probably less than you currently spend on him. Phone and travel add up to 65, you normally give him 5 a week taking it to 85 so unless you average under 15 a month on clothes this would be unreasonable. As long as he is seriously looking for a part time job why not help him out in the mean time if you can afford it.

Is your dh his dad? He sounds a bit mean to me. You should be encouraging him to stay in fte not leave. £5 a week is v little if you can afford more. But yes, he needs to get a job but he must know that if he's been working for 4 years already. Why was he let go? Is he a good lad generally? What's the whole picture? Is he studying hard? Lots of variables here.

I think 100 sounds fair but I would still pay his bus fare. He can then shop around mobile contracts if it is too pricey for him. I think your DH is being unreasonable to not see the difference between the other kids' position and your son's, though I guess they may want an allowance too if he gets one? Choosing to go to college at 17 is a good thing in my book, and not one that should be seen as otherwise.

I don't really think you can factor in a bus pass to college as fair expenditure out of pocket money!

Can I ask what the money for attending college would be? Is it also available for those in Sixth Form?

I pay my sons phone contract ( £11 a month) and then give money here and there but not a fixed amount. I would be more willing to give a fixed amount each week if he actually put some effort into helping me around the home.