To think this no pants rule is bloody weird?

[tinkiiev]

So; just discovered DD (just turned 5) is in a dance show - didn't realise her weekly tap classes were building up to this....

Not only do we have to fork out about £100 for a special t shirt, extra rehearsals and tickets to see it, but also, apparently they have to wear NO PANTS.

We have to deliver them to the stage door an hour before the show; they go backstage without us and get changed - no pants!! - we pick them up at the end of the show (930pm).

So my only just 5 year old is gong to be expected to strip right down to her bare bum backstage without her parents there. Apparently there are "chaperones" but I have never met any of these people.

I'm sure she won't mind; she'll have a great time; but I think it's really odd - she's 5 - she's too little to understand what's appropriate and what isn't and I've been trying to teach her that bottoms are private and nobody else should be seeing hers; only if me or her father are there and there's a good reason (e.g. At the doctor if we say it's ok).

AIBU? I was pretty shocked but the dance teachers looked at me like I was some kind of outmoded prude, and said if I objected, she'd have to pull out of the show.

It is completely fucking standard in traditional ballet not to wear anything under the leotard. That's how it's been done for hundreds of years. And that is confined in contemporary dance. I've done years of summer school dance and no knickers was always the rule.

It's not confusing or perverted of a safeguarding issue. It's like having your hair tied back for sports or having to wear black and white for choir. It's part of the discipline of the art and you can't just ignore it until the odd are older because you have to teach it from the beginning.

Anyone who's ever done dance knows this is the rule.

Absolutely fine with that and I accept that no problem. BUT that's not the issue, the issue is that the child has to go and get changed and be naked in front of complete strangers- adults.

Having my hair tied back is not the same as bending over and showing my bare behind to strangers. I don't also give a shit if it's been done for 1000 years. 20 years ago apparently boys stayed over at their football coaches house and were raped. It wouldn't do for me I'm afraid.

Actually that's not the rule at vocational schools & associate schemes.

But the rule is that underwear must not be seen hence high leg seam free often nude colour knickers.

Will an amazing dancer really be marked down cos hello kitty poked through fir a second?

Yes.

Same way as you'd be judged if you went to a job interview with a hello kitty tee underneath your suit.

As a gymnastics judge it's actually pretty distracting when a child has their pants on show. It detracts from the flow of the lines. Also young children will tend to pull at underwear and leotards as the fabric bunches up underneath, wedgie style. This again causes interruptions in the flow of the routine, is unpleasant to look at, and will get marked down.

It is about appearance, but not in the "who's the prettiest" or best looking way. It's about how your body looks and how clean your technique is. If there's pants hanging out the leo I can't see if hip angle is correct, or the leg is straight on to the body. And it looks scruffy, so I'm immediately seeing the routine as scruffy.

Leotards are worn for a reason. Not to show who has the best body, but to show off the moves and body lines. Also because in dance and gymnastics loose clothing can actually be a safety issue if it gets caught.

I can pretty much guarantee that won't happen. The OP said she has to arrive dressed in leotard with leggings & T shirt overcthectop. The t shirt & leggings only will be removed & the costume put in over the leotard I'm betting.

Hi everyone. Back now.

So, seems like all the people who know about dance think this is totally normal; everyone else thinks it's weird.

For the record, I have no issue with dancers in general not wearing pants. Totally fine and I can see it makes sense. I just have an issue with my 5 year old getting changed, without pants, with a bunch of strangers, backstage, after her bedtime.

TBH, the whole thing took me by surprise - one minute, she goes to half hour dance sessions in a Saturday morning; the next minute she's a semi-professional performer who can't wear pants in case it ruins the show for everyone else...

So, lesson learned - conclusions are, it's not sinister; I do still think it's weird; she's at the wrong sort of dance school for our normal, amateur little family. And I should read the emails they send us a bit more carefully....

Over and out!

DD is 7 and can't wear underwear to dance class let alone shows. On a Saturday she has to change into 4 different outfits.

You can buy expensive nude, seamless dance underwear if you want.

We're supposed to send them in t shirt, leotard and leggings, which get removed and replaced by the costume

Is the leotard not part of the costume? If not then my main thought is how many other kids bare bums have been in those theatre leotards. I know they wash things but

Totally normal. I didnballet for 12 years and there were to be no knickers (pants) in exams and shows. They show and ruin your lines. But completey understand why you would be uncomfortable with this. And she might as well.

But if you can't see the hip angles with pants how do you see them on boys who wear shorts

The leotards & costumes are bought by each parent for their child.

Have you ever been to a ballet?

The boys don't wear shorts. They wear tights.

Carlos!!!

My bad
Thought it be like at dds gymnastics...

Do the boys wear pants to hold in that box thing?

Post puberty boys wear a dance belt underneath their tights.

Sorry, I wouldn't care how normal this was for adults, but I also would be concerned about a five year old. My daughter did ballet at that age, and at no stage was I asked she was knickerless and they'd have heard me loud and clear, I f they did.

Vala the children have their own costumes. No one else wears them.

At my daughter's dance school, they never wear underwear under their leotard/tights, even in class. It was in the rules when we signed up. The owner of the school is a former professional ballet dancer, and she strives to teach the kids the "right," way. That's why we chose the school to begin with. My daughter is 6 now, she was 4 when she started. And she's never been naked backstage with random adults; she wears her leotard and tights to the performance, and her costumes go over them.

"If you think leotards are too skimpy maybe dance or gymnastics isn't for you or your child."

My child has done ballet and gymnastics and does not do either now. I am not concerned on behalf of my own child.

It is standard in dance shows that you don't wear knickers under the leotard because little girls big pants stick out under the leg hole and look bad. This is normal

If you tell a child to get changed they can do so, they don't need a chaperon surely.

Legally there has to be at least 1 chaperone for every 12 children present. The children are not allowed anywhere unacompanied.

And as a 'dance mum' who has helped at many shows (I also have dbs and work in a school) I think you should make an effort to talk to the show organisers and seek reassurances rather than going into "this is suspicious" mode. The helpers would no doubt be very sad to think you were worried and thinking twice about doing the show because of this issue.

really I am sure you realise that is an adult man not a five-year-old girl! Surely adults make their own choices but we tend to be more cautious of children.

I think you're over reacting. You should see the kids on Brownie sleepovers. They mostly run about with no knickers on when they are getting undressed for bed, or in dressed in the morning. It's usually the younger ones, not the 10 year olds, though we occasionally have to help someone with a bra strap or something.

You have to trust the adults looking after your DD, or you shouldn't be leaving her with them at all.