To think this no pants rule is bloody weird?

[tinkiiev]

So; just discovered DD (just turned 5) is in a dance show - didn't realise her weekly tap classes were building up to this....

Not only do we have to fork out about £100 for a special t shirt, extra rehearsals and tickets to see it, but also, apparently they have to wear NO PANTS.

We have to deliver them to the stage door an hour before the show; they go backstage without us and get changed - no pants!! - we pick them up at the end of the show (930pm).

So my only just 5 year old is gong to be expected to strip right down to her bare bum backstage without her parents there. Apparently there are "chaperones" but I have never met any of these people.

I'm sure she won't mind; she'll have a great time; but I think it's really odd - she's 5 - she's too little to understand what's appropriate and what isn't and I've been trying to teach her that bottoms are private and nobody else should be seeing hers; only if me or her father are there and there's a good reason (e.g. At the doctor if we say it's ok).

AIBU? I was pretty shocked but the dance teachers looked at me like I was some kind of outmoded prude, and said if I objected, she'd have to pull out of the show.

Are you sure they don't keep the leotard on under the costume they will get changed into ?

my DD isn't allowed to wear knickers under her leotard for performances or exams. It's normal for dancers.
She should have a leotard on though - no need for showing her bare bum.

I wouldn't let my DD get changed completely naked in front of a load of strangers. It surely goes against everything we teach young children.

I don't know how the dance school can absolutely insist on that when a parent isn't comfortable with it. I'd either say she has nude, well fitting undies that won't be too obvious or I'll go backstage to change her.

I think the no pants rule is normal in dance. Has always been the case at dd's Dane school. If you want her to do the show you will have to come to terms with this aspect

I'm surprised they specify that they have to change without parents and so on, but in all honesty I've never seen the big deal with seeing kids' bums. It's a bit of a mountain out of a molehill and wouldn't have bothered me at 5. But she's your daughter, you can only do what you are comfortable with.

They've got tights on under the leotard so there's no bare bum on show.

There not thin tights either. More like thin leggings

Dd does ballet but she hasn't done a show yet.

my DDs ballet teacher had this rule for dance exams. Agree - ridiculous for a 5yr old without you there.

Agree with Pestilence: dance people are weird!! Lots of strange demands and rules. Was actually relieved when DD gave up.

If she's going in in her leotard I would expect the leotard would stay on and the costume will go over the top.

You can get nude seamless pants specifically for this purpose - eBay or Amazon will have them, search for dance pants. We use those for shows, exams, summer schools etc and have never had a problem.

At our dance school the rule is you do wear pants. (And you get into your first costume at home). I do make sure she is wearing whatever are her current smallest pants so there is nothing showing. They are always wearing some kind of skirt so really they shouldn't show too much anyway. However, this is a sane kind of dance school who don't do exams and like 'funky' hair not ballet buns.....

Yes that's pretty standard to have none or be very specific . No one is going to gawp at your Dd. Groups will be separated by age and gender in a strict ratio. Our dance show is asking that they arrive in first costume and fully made up / hair done. This year Dd (15)is permitted flesh coloured underwear as her costume is less clingy and I suspect most will do similar or have a leotard base layer for quick changes.

Another dance mum here who thinks the no knockers rule is an entirely normal dance thing.

I chaperone backstage at a lot of these things and manage to see no bare buns. Arrive in tshirt and leggings; leggings off (tshirt hiding bum) leotard pulled up under tshirt; whip tshirt off last.

There's hundreds of kids backstage, all chaperones are DBS cleared, it always looks chaotic but is very tightly managed and controlled. The no knickers thing really does t bother any of our kids.

Really standard stuff.

Knickers ruin the line of the dance costumes and show either through the dance costume under the lights, or they poke out of the leg of the leotard.

They will be in a room with 101 other small children. The adult child ratio will be managed and met by the dance school.

The bunch of strangers will be the other children in their dance class, the teachers they know well and the parent volunteer chaperones who will never be left alone with individual or any children and who will all be DBS checked.

OP, if you're worried, you could volunteer to chaperone at the next show. Although, you won't be allowed to if you don't have a current DBS, you know, for safeguarding reasons

Also, I've chaperoned at these things and there's so much going on that I've never seen a single bum!

I would be checking whether the leotard is coming off and if so I would want knickers but if it's staying on then put it on at home without knickers. At my daughters dance school it was always no knickers for exams and shows. We were always told the leotard is like a swimsuit so no knickers. For shows my daughter always went in wearing the leotard with clothes over the top. The chaperones are always checked. I would jut double check th logistics to put your mind at rest!

Quit while you are ahead and find another aerobic activity for her. This sort of thing only gets worse (think full make up at v early age). Agree dance types are v different than me and many others.

I don't think OP was worried about knockers Stormyseas

Does it really matter if a 5 year olds knickers show through a leotard?

And if so, why?

This is like the thread about the boy being expected to wear only swimming trunks

As for the PP who referred to the nspcc underwear rule, children do need to undress sometimes though - at the drs, when getting changed for PE at school (when I quite often find myself saying, "put your pants back on") and swimming lessons.

Agree with all above - normal for dance exams. I would assume if she needs to have a leotard on that they have that on underneath their costume - or add to it to make their costume.
With so many children needing to be on stage in the right costume at the right time I am sure no one is lookkng at anyone's bottoms!
Just have a reasonable word with the dance teacher
Maybe you should volunteer to chaperone? They always tend to need an extra pair of hands

In the grand scheme of things no I don't think it matters if knickers show up.

But in a show for dancers it's one of those things that teachers insist on. On adult ballet dancers you want to see the way the body moves, which would be ruined by a panty line

I guess they are trying to teach that to children whilst they are young

What about getting costume and leotard off for the loo

I'm not a 'dance type'. I think some of the rules around it are daft and I do eye roll at some of it.

But that's what you buy into when you send your children to dance classes.

A lot of it comes with a big mental, "Whatever..." and just let them get on with it. And the children love it.