AIBU to think John Humphrys is going to annoy a lot of mums this am...

[suffolkblonde29]

Today presenter John Humphrys is quoted in The Times this morning talking about his ex-wife -

"Humphrys describes Wilding as “about as near perfect a mother as you can get” – a woman who “got pregnant and said, ‘I’m stopping work and I won’t start work again until the children – however many there may be – are in university.’ And she never did.”

Because that's how to be a perfect mother?! Oh gawd, my DD has no chance....

Good for her if it made her happy and they could afford it. I was a SAHM until DS started school and now work part time. I'd love to quit and go back to how things were.

Great missing the point there rrross.

Yeah I agree op, why should that make 'the perfect mother'?

I like jh but he's better grilling people on the radio.

I couldn't get irked about that. It's just his opinion. I have a senior role in the city, two DC and have never felt that I'm not a good mother.

The more Jamie Oliver, Mylene Klass and Gwyneth Paltrow certain celebrities talk about their amazing parenting abilities from the very moment of conception, the more I realise what a shit parent I am

It's just his opinion of what makes a perfect mother.

Staying at home would have made me a terrible mother. I hated maternity leave and couldn't wait to go back to work. being a SAHM would be terrible for my mental health.

Yeah, well, she is his ex-wife, so he thinks she was the perfect mother, but obviously not the perfect wife. Personally, I'd rather have a happy marriage.

I agree that this is a really unhelpful thing to say and a ridiculous idea of a 'perfect mother'. I'd be inclined to get him a bit of slack though because he is in a difficult position: talking about an ex-wife who then died of cancer. I can imagine how easily you could tend towards sanctification in that position. I haven't read the Times article (and don't have a subscription) - what's the context?

Elsa gwyneth had lots of nannies, used to live nearby my dc same age as hers. Wasn't her scrabbling round the council run soft play was the nanny . totally fair enough of course but made me snort to read her lifestyle stuff at the time. We also saw her nanny giving her kids crisps which made us giggle with all the mung bean stuff!

I never get worked up about what shite celebrities are exposing. Their opinion I have mine, it's their life and not mine and vice versa. I work FT, have a decent income and standard of living and in the event of a divorce would be financially independent. I wouldn't change it at all

Like a pp I hated maternity leave and am a much better mother now I am back at work.

I remember he was married to Valerie Sanderson from News 24, but according to Wiki they are no longer together either. He is a bit of a chainsmoking crump.

KERALA1 were they kale crisps

I secretly actually think that SAHMs who dedicate all their time to raising and educating and entertaining their children are in fact superior as mothers. The trouble is that if I was a SAHM, I would not be that kind of a mother - I would be one going out of her mind and hitting the gin by noon, while the children would be plonked in front of TV. So perfect motherhood does not seem to be attainable for me. I've got a pretty decent balance though.

Yes to be fair he was saying something nice about his ex-wife. It just seems like a very outdated view of what makes a perfect mother...

I agree SpornStar, if I had to give up working as soon as I had a baby it'd be terrible for my mental health and my daughter would suffer. Also we'd be skint!

If only being the perfect mother was as simple as giving up work forever eh?

Does that then make his second Partner, Valerie Sanderson, the far from perfect Mother, because she carried on perusing her Career?

Until he explains what he means, I think it's best not to speculate. He might just be paying a tribute to her, because she's passed away from Cancer.

""Personally, I'd rather have a happy marriage.""

He's on his third Partner, so it could be him, or I believe that some people don't suit one person, for life, nothing to do with being a SAHW.

It's just his opinion.

I'm not sure why anyone should bother to be annoyed by it.

Wholly inappropriate, ageist comment Saucery.

Was he the perfect father?
Was she the perfect wife?
Was he the perfect husband?

Definitions change - and are subjective. He can say what he wants - but luckily he is not in power and can't influence policy so we are all expected to live as 'perfect families' - unlike certain politicians who influence policy in this area - and have a go at people who don't live up to their ideas of perfection.

I think that he was trying to be positive and generous in print towards his deceased ex, maybe for the sake of their children and grandchildren. He's a clever man who will be aware that there a different ways of parenting and that none is universally better than the other, although this particular way was right for their family.

Perhaps Humphrys is a perfect husband... ?

He earns well enough so that his wife does not have to consider working? Sadly most men don't have his money and there is no choice for the woman but to work or live a very poor existence...

As my late MiL used to say, women fought for the right to work, but it has turned into the obligation to work.

Well, obviously his opinions are just his own. There is obviously no such thing as a "perfect mother" which I'm sure he realises. If I was a woman and had the opportunity to give up work for 18 years, damn sure I would take it as well. I never understood why someone would rather be on a conference call than be with their little tots.

I am getting cynical in my old age cos I read that as him being sarcastic about her and implying that she was a lazy mare who gave up work as soon as the stick changed colour