AIBU to think John Humphrys is going to annoy a lot of mums this am...

[suffolkblonde29]

Today presenter John Humphrys is quoted in The Times this morning talking about his ex-wife -

"Humphrys describes Wilding as “about as near perfect a mother as you can get” – a woman who “got pregnant and said, ‘I’m stopping work and I won’t start work again until the children – however many there may be – are in university.’ And she never did.”

Because that's how to be a perfect mother?! Oh gawd, my DD has no chance....

I love my job and I wouldn't be able to get the same intellectual stimulation at home. After 2 weeks off I'm eager to get back into work and back to solving the puzzles that make my day interesting.

Can you see how many times you have used 'I/my' in that paragraph?

You have literally the whole of your life to put yourself and your needs first, can you really not spare a few short years to prioritise your DCs?

You have literally the whole of your life to put yourself and your needs first, can you really not spare a few short years to prioritise your DCs

I presume you'd say the same to a man who said the same and used 'I' all the time.

I'm lucky with my job - but I pay a price for it - as I am self employed and can work around DC. It does cost me money at times but I do value the time with DS.

Clearly you think fathers aren't as good as mothers as caring for their own children estateagent
That says more about the the person you've partnered and your own view of yourself than anybody else

Oh and btw dh and I have always prioritised our children over work. Every parent I know loves their children more than their work - even those who love their career. We'd all lay down our lives for our children- I wouldn't do that for my job! It's not about priorities- it's that many of us know that we can outsource some aspects of childcare some of the time to enable us to remain in work while carrying out the supremely life long role of being a parent

Well said Munster.

Er, what good is it for DD to have a stressed out, bored parent looking after her? Instead she gets fun time at pre-school, fun time with DH building dens and stuff during the week, then a happy mum reading to her and doing puzzles in the evening, and a happy mum taking her out for fun time together at the weekend (like I did today).

it's that many of us know that we can outsource some aspects of childcare some of the time

I wish I could outsource homework.

And as for the I/my argument... well you could say the same for the women on this thread who've admitted they were desperate to give up work because they were in menial boring jobs. Who are they giving up work for?

The most honest SAHMS I know are the ones who do it because they truly believe it is the right thing for their own Family circumstances but don't assume that it will make their children happier/ cleverer/ more emotionally well adjusted than the children of WOHP. thats probably because they are secure with their choice so don't need to make comparisons.

What depresses me is people bitching about childcare with no understanding of sexism. Men are groomed for work. Women are groomed for family and it starts from birth.

there's no reason "bankers" or "high earning city types" should be men

Very true IAmAmy. What do you do for a living? Do you have children? How much time do you spend with them?

What is your point limitedperiod?

Amy is a teenager still at school. There is no reason why bankers or high earning city types can't be women. I know plenty who are. It really is not necessary to spend every waking minute with your children

Oh and I'd better say before someone accuses me of sock puppetry I have posted on this thread under my usual name of Lass ( I'm just trying out my random elf generated name from another thread)

Thank you Lass and exactly. It's ridiculous people make such insinuations and comments about women who do such jobs and have children.

AraielTelnareil I noticed the post where Amy said she was was a teenager which was one of the reasons I asked her the question I did. I used to be a teenager too.

I have no point. I'm just asking a question. Perhaps she might want to answer it.

Of course there are reasons there aren't an equal amount of women doing those high paid high prestige jobs. Saying there are no reasons suggests it's just laziness and lack of ambition on women's part.

Oh and I'd better say before someone accuses me of sock puppetry I have posted on this thread under my usual name of Lass

There really is no need to panic.

limitedperiodonly well you presumably know the answers? I'm at school and don't have children I spend plenty of time with my parents who both work full time though.

What an odd question to ask Amy if you already knew the answer.

Re name change, I used a different name briefly a couple of weeks ago and almost instantly got a snide comment about it.

well you presumably know the answers

I don't know all the answers Amy. Presumably one day you'll learn that you don't either.

BTW when I was your age I also spent most of my time with my parents who both worked full time.

There's no reason why IT ... should be dominated by men

DD is the only girl in GCSE computing.
There was either 1 or no girls when DS did GCSE computing.

So that's how 14yr olds feel about their options.

I read something about how boys dominate in engineering or IT, not because girls are put off those subjects, but because boys are put off taking textiles (all girls last year!), hair dressing, art, drama, childcare, etc... the stigma for boys to take "Girl" subjects is far stronger than any disincentive girls feel about computing/DT/etc.

limitedperiodonly I'm baffled by your posts and have little idea of what you're getting at.

Also I've never claimed to "have all the answers", quite the opposite. I've just posted my opinions.

I haven't RTFT but I read the article with John Humphrys earlier on, interpreted it differently and think he's getting a hard time...I read it as his first wife (who died of cancer) was a great mother but the fact that she chose to give up work wasn't really related to that and that she would have been a great mother whether she worked or not. It was her choice to give up work and he respected that.

He could also have been reflecting on the fact that his kids had a better childhood than he did - his childhood is described in the article and it sounds awful. Later in the article he comments on sexism and questions why the BBC haven't managed to appoint a female DG or the labour party a female leader so he may not be quite as old fashioned as some are suggesting here!

There is no reason why bankers or high earning city types can't be women. I know plenty who are

I think that you are missing other posters point, they are saying there is a reason and it is sexism, social conditioning. It's why girls apparently don't want to become computer programmers as well.

lljkk

So there's less than in my day over 20 years ago, despite 20 years of quotas, womens networks etc. So what is the answer ? Saying that boys are put off "girls" subjects doesn't explain the difference, because if girls equally wanted to do STEM subjects it would be 50/50 surely ?

I am similarly baffled by you Amy

I have no point.

Well , Limited, I, and I would imagine, Amy , got that part.

I'm just asking a question. Perhaps she might want to answer it

Sorry, still baffled why you were asking whether Amy had children and why she needs to answer (again) a question she has already answered and you already know the answer too.

Re "all the answers" Amy was quite clearly in her first mention of it referring back to the specfic question about her- you have misinterpreted what she said.