to not want my son in just his swimming trunks on stage?

[wwoonn]

It's for a dance show... He is 4. Would you be happy with this?

He is a little boy, OP. Don't get carried away.

When I was 4 we did PE in pants and vests.

I wouldn't worry about it if I were you. Can't see the problem.

The teacher in the top class at one of my DD's primary school always seemed to get the girls into rather odd costumes for the Christmas show - hula hula girls or mermaids for example - that involved them being half dressed - hmm.

I think there are quite a lot of body issues being projected on to small children here.

4 year old son shouldn't be aware there is anything "imperfect" about their bodies. Because there isn't. There are just different body types.

Lol diemme. No one laughs at children's body shapes or colours at a dance show. The kids are bouncing around in a stage for two minutes waving their arms about. They aren't taking it in turns to come centre stage and say how they want to save the world. We have all shapes and sizes in our dance classes, and some of our biggest kids are by far and away the best dancers. Dance is fabulous as it is about what your body can do, and how fabulous it is, not what it looks like. It's enormously empowering and is about being part of a team. Not an individual. Hence the, y'know, costumes.

And if my skinny bony awkward white kid with cerebral palsy can get up on a stage with all her limitations alongside able bodies peers, and take part, I have no fears for the op's average 4 yo, or any other kid who takes part in dance lessons. People are watching what they are doing at 4, and cooing about how cute they are, not looking to see if they can see their ribs.

why though does it have to be trunks and not board shorts??? Why would a teacher object to board shorts, there are plenty that are a bit shorter too, not knee-length. Can anyone answer that? If he's only 4, for a 2 min performance, then it should be usually what's in his wardrobe already that fits the part.

I wouldn't want to put a 4 yr old in the position of being the only child in the whole show (as far as OP knows) who doesn't have something on their top half. Some might be fine, some might look fine and be squirming inside, some might chicken out on the day, some might be put off dance.

It's not a context where everyone is topless. It's a context where half the people in the room are fully dressed, and the other half are wearing at least a leotard or something of similar shape (swimming cossie). I think that could feel a bit weird to a small child who's presumably quite new to the world of shows and costumes.

Al the op has said is 'it's trunks'. For most dance shows, the costumes are ordered months before. The dance school will be providing the trunks, having ordered them in the correct size for the child, to match/ complement the little skinny cossies the girls are wearing. That the dance school also ordered. In 13 years of dance school costumes, I have never seen a parent be given a choice - the choreo and the costume is decided by the teacher. Occasionally there is a follow up discussion (sometimes in the girl's costumes it is not possible to wear a bra, and some of these gals need bras) so there is a last minute adjustment of straps or similar. Usually they all whine because the sequins scratch or whatever.
I have never seen a parent complain about a costume on the basis that the child's nipples will show. And in ten years of ds dancing, it would never have occurred to me to worry about it. As a performer, even a four year old, they just get their costume on and do their routine, then pull on their sweats and go home. It's no big deal.
Like someone else said - it may be that this family are not cut out for performing. That's fine. It's a shame to let a kid miss out on a confidence building and empowering activity because you want to teach him he should be ashamed of his body, but your son, your roolz, hun.
it's all a bit militantly pointless, tbh. I just can't get that excited about it.