to not want my son in just his swimming trunks on stage?

[wwoonn]

It's for a dance show... He is 4. Would you be happy with this?

It's coming up to Christmas, it gets seriously mad around here, so I have a HUGE bag of grips, please feel free to help yourselves.

Beyond, 'I hope they aren't cold', not another thought needs to be given.

Children in swimsuits. So. What!?

Honestly, it's just getting bloody ridiculous.

And if you are going to put your child in a DANCE class, get used to the concept of costumes or you're going to be 'that mother' before he's barely sorted poor kid. If you want him fully covered at all times, consider karate instead,

Put him in some bermuda type shorts and a beachy t shirt....tell the teacher that's what he wants to wear and that's what he's wearing.

LIZS. Seriously? I'd be very worried about a man who thinks INFANT girls in bikinis is a problem, so much of a problems he's been put off going to watch his daughter.

OP, pedophiles are pedophiles whether your son is in swimming trunks or something reminiscent of a mumu. They don't discriminate, and I can guarantee you that having worked extensively with them.

Put him in some bermuda type shorts and a beachy t shirt....tell the teacher that's what he wants to wear and that's what he's wearing

Do you get that this is a dance group? That there's a teacher/class/company putting on a show? THEY get to choose the costumes, you can ASK if they can wear xyz instead/as well, but NO, you cannot DICTATE what the child will wear. It's NOT even slightly relevant what the child wants to wear. If you don't like the costumes it's tough luck, the ONLY thing you can do is not have your child participate and frankly, if swimming trunks are going to be a problem, finding another hobby pronto is my suggestion.

Talk about a bloody entitled, snowflake attitude.

Definitely Pluto.

Every single day on MN I'm thankful for having grown up in the 70's/80's before such ridiculous levels of paranoia, about every little bloody thing, we're the norm.

We did PE in our pants. We did handstands, cartwheels & climbed trees without 'modesty shorts' underneath. Half the street was in our paddling pool, some in bottoms, some completely starkers. God help us, we even had a biscuit and juice and 'played out.

I wouldn't like it OP. I can't see a reason why the organisers wouldn't allow Bermuda style shorts. In your positions I would say swimming shorts or id be withdrawing him from the performance.

Could yes I GET that it's a DANCE GROUP. And I GET that THEY are expected to wear a particular costume.

I've been involved in plenty of theatrical groups and productions...however. He is FOUR and it's not the frigging Theatre Royal.

She's also paying for the classes I assume. If the teacher is so precious that she wants her entire group of boys in the swimming trunks, she needs a lesson in what looks interesting on stage in addition to chilling out about things like this.

OP is not comfortable with it. If the teacher won't budge I suppose OP can take her money to another group.

[OP is not comfortable with it. If the teacher won't budge I suppose OP can take her money to another group]

If OP cannot conform to stage costumes for her ds I am sure the dance teacher won't mind her perfect snowflake deflecting to another dance group. In fact I am positive she will encourage it. No teacher wants a parent of a chid in their group who whinges about dance costumes.

My youngest dd's are 14 and 12. They are involved in dance/drama groups. They have often been required to dress in skimpy costumes (Dancers are usually in skimpy costumes). If I didn't agree to it, for whatever reason, I would pull them out of their class. Is that unreasonable?

When I was a child (early 80s), albeit a female one, there was a schools production that required the children to be topless M & F as they were depicting a tribe in the Amazon. These were children from 4 to 10 years old. I was at the younger end of this but was very unhappy at the idea and refused and I don't think it would have made a difference being a boy at that age. Mum wholeheartedly supported me in this and looking back I think she was right.
We started a revolution and more parents came to their senses and saw that there was no justifiable reason to have a load of kids cavorting half naked - it wasn't the West End FFS!
In the end they came up with kind of hemp vests for us to wear.
I can see no reason why the OPs child can't wear a light t shirt.

OP I was a dancer for about 15 years (ballet, jazz, tap, funk, cheerleading) if you decide to put your child in dance classes then you need to accept there will be dance costumes. I was very young (3 or 4 years old) when I started and at the dance concerts I had the full hair and stage make up. There is a difference in wearing things like that on stage and just out in everyday life.

If you don't like it then change him to a different dance class or take him out of dance completely.
It seems like you are making a drama out of nothing

Swimming trunks isn't a dance costume though is it? It's not a leotard or even a sparkly dress.

what about getting him swimming short style trunks, would that be allowed?

CouldHaveIt - I also grew up in the 1970s. The naivety charming innocence you hark back to was a godsend for pervs and dirty old men. And worse.

Same here "Bob" but on Mumsnet, if anyone ever suggests that there MIGHT be people in the vicinity with less than pure intentions, they're called "hysterical" and "pearl clutcher"

When my DD was 5 the school end-of-year show was an African themed dance thing with DC in skimpy costumes. It came as a complete shock surprise to the audience of parents and grandparents and there were a lot of complaints. It was totally unPC - of another era entirely.

When I read the OP I replied saying that my only concern was that he'd be cold. But I thought that by swimming trunks she meant the sort of long-ish shorts that most males wear to the beach or swimming pool.

If it's a pair of skimpy speedos and he's meant to dance round in them, I don't think I'd fancy it either. And if I'm honest I can't really explain why.

Although it's not really anything to do with a fear that a paedophile will be secretly videoing, he's far more at risk from people he knows than a random in the audience.

I think I just find those skimpy things a bit odd looking.

nope. i wouldn't allow it.
the photography thing would do it for me.
i don't even let my sons wear trunks swimming at the beach, they always wear shorts.
i would say to the teacher 'i am not comfortable with x being on stage in what, essentially, covers less of his body than his underwear. he can either wear beach uv swim wear (the all in one type) that will not restrict his movement, or he can sit this one out.'
maybe in writing if you feel it would be a difficult conversation.
your son is 4, he cannot make decisions about the bigger implications of this decision, so you have to make it for him. if you're not comfortable, go with you're gut.

This is totally bonkers. I've seen about twenty of these 'at the seaside' dances courtesy of attending billions of dance shows and competitions with my now 16yo dd. In every single one of them, the girls have been in two pieces and the boys in trunks. They are on stage for about two minutes, bounce up and down, pretend to throw beach balls, and do that shimmy thing to pretend to go underwater. The more avant harder dance schools will have the teacher holding blue chiffon and wafting it about from the wings to simulate the sea,

They are all bog standard little kid dance routines, in dance inspired swimming costumes (yes, unfortunately if your ds continues in dance, he is going to have to get used to wearing a leotard - will you ban that as well?)

Ds danced for years. He was also the only boy on his dance school. On one occasion at four he had to wear a silver sequinned vest top and mermaid skirt. It was freaking hilarious.

I promise you, swimming trunks is entirely normal in this scenario. Big ol' skate shorts would not be appropriate - not unless the teacher has envisaged a comedy character for a solo part at some point during th routine - the idea at 4 is that he will blend/ match the girls in their skimpy cossies.

At our dance school they get given their costumes. There is no 'oh just send him in something else'. There is a vision, darling. You can't just decide to do something different.

Still lol at the pearl clutching. At 6 ds was a farmer with a herd of dancing sheep. At 7 he was Austin Powers with a troupe of girls in mini dresses and feather boas. Last year at 14 he was in a tux with a tap dancing group of brides ('my future husband')

If he wants to dance, get him in those trunks and stop being a Nellie. They all have to go through the 'at the seaside' year. it's a rite of passage.

In the middle of winter I would be concerned about him getting cold. I remember my sister being in an outdoor dance performance with standard ballet wear and a lot of the younger troupe members crying because of being cold.

Oh, and no dance show I have ever been to allows audience photography. It puts the performers off and is strictly banned. You aren't even allowed to move in and out of the auditorium during performances, let alone have your camera out.

it's dance. By its very nature you need to be able to see their bodies move. That's what dance is....