to not want my son in just his swimming trunks on stage?

[wwoonn]

It's for a dance show... He is 4. Would you be happy with this?

I can understand your concerns. Chances are there will be a paedophile in the audience if it's open to parents and others. Even though I assume camera equipment is prohibited, there is no guarantee that nobody will be filming it surreptitiously. It will then be shared on the dark web for others' sick enjoyment.

It seems slightly peculiar that the teachers think this is acceptable at all - at best it is a gross misjudgement, at worst... well. Best left unsaid. I am astounded by the naivety shown by posters on this thread and hope that it is the same naivety that has led to this performance being thought up.

Your child may not care but that is largely irrelevant. He is too young to understand the risks involved, and you are correct (indeed, obliged) to protect him from this sort of thing on his behalf.

6 other children. All girls.

It just does seem different tbh.

We are in the U.K.

Not sure if he will be cold, don't know how warm the venue is

I'd tell the teacher he will also wear a t-shirt because you don't think it's appropriate - lots of 4 year olds at the beach would be wearing t-shirts in any case ..... if you're uncomfortable about it, speak to them and tell them you don't want him topless with just trunks on, or indeed you don't want him in trunks and he will wear shorts

Chances are there will be a paedophile in the audience

Are you for real?!

Oh it's not a school performance. He does dance classes.

WouldHave lads take the micky out of each other something awful - this is only going to add to the potential for that. He will be teased for this - especially whe a bit older - kids just do.

school trunks

Could something like this be a compromise if you didn't want to pull him out? Not ideal but have a larger coverage?

OP I can see your concern is more about appearing in pictures etc. I'm not sure I'd be as bothered about that as the embarrassment factor for him!

6 other children. All girls.

It just does seem different tbh.

Why? They will presumably all be in swimming costumes. You don't even know if photography will be allowed.

love don't be ridiculous. 4yr olds wouldn't blink an eye at that and older kids won't bully a 4yr old.

Yes, they'll be in costumes, that cover a lot of their bodies.

How do you know that I don't know if photography will be allowed?

I just had a quick google for "swimming trunks" and everything that came up was in essence long swimming shorts. I don't know why people assume they must be budgie smugglers.

Photography is banned in the theatre , they get to flog a dvd to parents instead all for the sake of 2 minutes (another reason dh won't go).

No, because it's cold.

Does the letter say "wear swimming trunks" Or "wear teeny tiny budgie smuggler speedos"

If I got a letter saying my DS had to wear swimming trunks I would assume they meant any kind of male swimwear and send him in shorts.

If your DS isn't allowed to dress up for shows, what's the point of him being in a dance club? Your reaction to this does sound really odd and over the top tbh. Have you had a bad experience yourself and you are projecting this onto your son?

You sound deeply disturbed, WTL . And from what I've heard of the dark web, it is not full of 4 year olds in swimming trunks.

Girls may well be in bikinis. If they're in full swimming costumes, they'll only cover a bit more of their fronts.

Have you checked whether photography is allowed? In any event you haven't responded to the point that your son will almost inevitably get photographed by strangers when he wears trunks on the beach or at swimming pools.

This is crazy. I'm off!

Op if your so concerned about your ds having paedophiles taking photos of him, I suspect dance classes that include dance shows aren't the best activity choice.

Sorry, didn't see for dance - even still if you're not happy, tell them and get it changed for your peace of mind

It has put dh off attending again even to see Dd

I'd be very concerned why a man felt that uncomfortable with a child's body tbh.

Girls have to wear swimming costumes.

he's got to stand on stage in from of parents and - worse - his mates like that?

He's 4. DD was naked whenever she got the chance at that age.

(As for photos, I do have a full-frontal image of an unknown naked child who leapt into one of our beach shots... Always makes me laugh.)

Bit chilly though, I agree with that.

I'm not a 'peado on every corner' person and there are 101 ways of such people getting their kicks without seeing a barely clothed child.

But this wouldn't sit right with me either. I can't really articulate why but when we are drumming the pants rule into our children at school, why should a dance class want a young child prancing about in, essentially, just their pants.

I would seek clarification on what they mean - they might be fine with longer swim shorts or a rash suit type thing. I assume it's to differentiate between a child pretending to swim in the sea and one dancing on the beach.

Also, if it's for a professional body, or a club involved with them, some do have rules about appropriateness of costume for both freedom of movement and modesty purposes. If nothing else, just wearing trunks might lead to a modesty mishap. In a 4 year old I can well imagine that sort of thing would stay with them for life and stop them from continuing to enjoy themselves.