to not want my son in just his swimming trunks on stage?

[wwoonn]

It's for a dance show... He is 4. Would you be happy with this?

I wouldn't be happy with my 3yr old son dressed like this on stage! It's not about the swimming trunks for me but the the context I.e. Not a beach or the seaside!! Could he wear a rash vest with swim shorts?

WTL, if people on the dark web are desperate for pictures of boys in swimming trunks, they only have to put that phrase into Google to get hundreds of them. They don't have to sneak themselves into children's dance shows on the offchance that they might just find a beach themed performance.

the obvious answer would be to speak to the dance school and say the only swimming costume you have for him is one of those all in one sunsuit types. at which point they'll say 'ok' and then you can chill the fuck out.

So why is it OK for girls to wear swimming costumes but not your son? A girl's costume only covers a few more inches on the front and is skin tight on the top half, so essentially is more revealing than a pair of baggy shorts covering a boy from waist to knees.

No, I wouldn't be comfortable with this either.
A boy in my oldest dd's class had to wear something similar for a okay at the age of about 10 and it made me uncomfortable. As did attending a class assembly on a Children in Need day when kids were told to come in their pyjamas. Mine wore track suits.
Being one of many kids wearing swimwear on a beach is very different to being the only one wearing it in a dance show. I would be insisting he wears shorts and tshirt.

Agree, a sunsuit would be fine, and warmer.

It's a strange time of year to put on an "At the Seaside" show in the UK.

Would, he can't wear baggy shorts I've said that about 10 times. I'd be happy if he could be in a top too, I suppose. Personally, the girls absolutely have it better in this scinario. He is also the only boy so he'll be the only one dressed like if

I'm with you OP. It's not the same as being on the beach because it's not the beach. It's him on a stage surrounded by clothed adults. The children are there to be looked at! Would you let your child go on stage in underwear?

It's not about sexualising etc, it's about his dignity. He's too young to consent, so his parents are obligated to consent on his behalf. OP, if you as his mother feel that it's not in his best interest then it's out of the question.

I would tell the dance teacher that you don't feel it's appropriate, that you'll dress him in board shorts & a UV top or a T-shirt...

Second line should read for a show not an okay!

YABU and giving your child shame about their body. The pants rule is irrelevant. The boy is wearing pants.

Have we had another Nethuns influx?

His class is the only class doing an at the seaside theme, classes are ranging from Mary Poppins - Penguins.

I wouldn't even consider it to be a problem If it were one of mine, has the word really gone so wrong that a 4 year old can't wear trunks in public without everyone's thoughts turning to who may or may not be taking pictures for sister reasons!

How about one of those striped Victorian bathing costumes?

Just to note that swimming clubs don't allow photographs to be taken of swimmers in just swimwear unless they are actually in the water swimming or they are staged shots.

Would, he can't wear baggy shorts I've said that about 10 times.

No, you haven't. You've said he has to wear "swimming trunks". That includes the trunks that are like long baggy shorts.

Are you sure it's not just a clumsily worded note? Someone has written "trunks" when they meant "shorts". At that age, DS's swim 'trunks' would have been loose, short-type things which went from waist to knees and weren't in the slightest bit baggy. I'd be asking the teachers about a rash vest too not for modesty reasons but for warmth.

It's not the same as being on the beach because it's not the beach. It's him on a stage surrounded by clothed adults

Where do you get that from, N0tfinished? It's a children's dance show. OP says he'll be on the stage with other children in swimwear.

I think that you are uncomfortable with him wearing them you should follow your gut.

There will be adults in the wings, dressing rooms and watching. Op I'd just play ignorant and provide swimwear you feel is appropriate. If the others are girls it isn't as if he won't match.

It's not about sexualising etc, it's about his dignity. He's too young to consent - this. Articulates perfectly what I mean.

And whilst you may say the girls are only in swim suits so how is that different, in gymnastics girls wear leotards which are not dissimilar. But boys wear long trousers and a vest top. You don't see them tumbling around in just pants...

In ballet the outfits are similar.

Op, maybe something like thiss* would be acceptable. To demonstrate, this is a young boy wearing speedo jammers.

Wwoon - what about the swim shorts that aren't baggy trunks but aren't skimpy budgie smugglers?

Something like this.

It would be about dignity, mainly, for me and then secondarily the chance of someone in the audience getting kicks out of it.

Not to say "paedo round every corner" but it's also not to say that parent (or extended family) of children attending primary school cannot be paedos under any circumstances. Of course they can.

OP I don't believe you've confirmed if it can be board shorts instead of small lycra speedo types. I would personally say you think it's too cold to be on stage in just trunks, also you don't actually want him performing in just a pair of trunks, and so you want to send him in vest and swim shorts type thing.

tries again apologies for link fail

third time lucky