to not want my son in just his swimming trunks on stage?

[wwoonn]

It's for a dance show... He is 4. Would you be happy with this?

Shopping, I come back to the question no-one seems able to answer: why is a 4 year old child wearing swimming trunks on a stage surrounded by friends wearing similar costumes going to be embarrassed, and why would he be any more embarrassed than he would be wearing them at a swimming pool or beach where there may well be loads of fully clothed adults watching.

Do all you people squirm at the thought of adults watching children at swimming galas?

Shopping the OP hasn't said anything about her ds feeling embarrassed.

My ds is 9yo, regularly performs. If school asks him to wear red for red nose day (or similar) he is a cringe of embarrassment and dreads it for days beforehand. Even if I let him choose whatever he wants to.
He'll go on stage wearing tights, or a pink dress and heels or a Lord Fauntleroy suit - or swimming trunks, without a blink.

I wouldn't have a problem with it. What are the girls wearing? Leotards? Swimming costumes? Dance costuimes are usually pretty tiny.

I'd ask the dance school to ask parents not to put photos up on social media of other kids - but I'd ask that anyway; doesn't make a difference what they're wearing.

Well I only mentioned the word "embarrassing" once, which was when I said potentially embarrassing.

9 is a lot older than 4 - they can still express their own informed opinion.

Wouldhave - I suppose the difference is that they would be wearing swimming trunks at a gala as that is the appropriate attire for the event, especially with regard to it being in the water.

As opposed to somebody just deciding "I think you should dance on stage wearing a pair of speedos" for no apparent reason other than their choice.

Sorry I don't see the issue..Your DC isn't been singled out. All children are wearing swimwear...

Wouldhave- it's the performance aspect that makes it different. Logically it may not make sense but it feels different to me.

Also, there's no need for this. Swimming requires swimming costumes. It's appropriate for the setting.

Perhaps he could wear a wetsuit and full mask and snorkel (that way even if some pervert takes a photo he won't be identifiable).
Op if your so concerned about your ds having paedophiles taking photos of him, I suspect dance classes that include dance shows aren't the best activity choice. This.

I am a bit aghast at this thread. And at 4 I would be happy for a girl to have a bare top, as long as she was happy about it.
But OP, I think you should just withdraw your DS from dance classes. Find an activity that doesn't require shows.

I think it's fine for you to say you want him to have a t shirt or rash vest on too. I'd be v surprised if the dance school cares if he's in speedos or bermuda shorts - in my experience they are really not bothered what the boys wear when there's only one of them in the class. "Trunks" could well be just an old fashioned word for "boys' swimwear".

If they do have an issue, rash suits are very common at swimming lessons round here (high asian population)

i think that they wont mind if your son wears bermuda shorts. I really wouldnt worry about it

Shopping he's 9yo now. His opinion hasn't changed since he was 3yo and met his first red nose day.

This thread is frankly bizarre. A group of tiny children have been asked to dress as though on a beach for a 2 minute bit in a dance show. Girls in swimming costumes, boys in trunks.
There are 6 or 7 of them in the group. Swimming costumes are no more revealing than leotards, so it saves money and effort on costumes.
OP: just stick a rash vest on him if he shares your frankly odd embarrassment about his nipples. He's a small child!

Dignity? He's a four year old in a 2 min skit about the beach!

No matter what age, everyone is entitled to a bit of dignity

Of course a 4yo should have dignity, and it's the parents' place to ensure they have it.

I agree.

When my DC go to the beach they are dress in UV one piece which covers them as much as possible, not because of pedo emergency but because it keeps them safer in the sun.

The NHS quidelines even say to keep children covered on the beach.

www.nhs.uk/livewell/skin/pages/sunsafe.aspx

At least the school will be following this, even if it is a play in the middle of winter

I'm stunned at all these parents who are so obsessed about their child's dignity when appearing on stage. Take that to its logical conclusion and we would none of us let our children be sheep in the school nativity play, or ugly sisters in the pantomime, or play the recorder appallingly in school concerts. Yet we do.

Can he wear a two piece. That's what most boys wear at our local swim club and on the beach. Times have changed and whether right or wrong a lot of parents feel more comfortable with less skin on show

My 4yo always wears a uv suit, even to the pool, as he finds them comfy and is used to them. My ds might be a bit shy to go on stage with no top though I have a hard time taking him into shirts and t shirts in the summer

OP if you are not happy with DS wearing swimming trunks for a dance show then tell the teacher you are not happy with it. The worst she can do is remove your DS from the dance. Would you be happier with that?

Just tell the teacher he will be cold in just swimming trunks. Is he the only boy in it?
I saw a dance show a few years ago with a seaside themed dance in it - the two boys wore bermuda shorts and bright summer t-shirts. They were about 7.

A 4-year-old boy's nipples are about as important to his 'dignity' as his bloody ankles.

Stop making a drama out of nothing and just send him in normal swim shorts.

Haha Koala! Exactly.

If you google 'buys swimming trucks' you get a whole range of images from shorts to more pants style swimming costumes. I don't know why the OP has assumed her ds needs to wear something skimpy. My children didn't have skimpy swimsuits at that age (or since for that matter), I would have sent in ds with his normal trunks, which were probably knee length. At four he still stripped naked given half the chance anyway!