To be annoyed when asked to help out at a party that my kids aren't invited...

[Freakindeakin]

So a friend is having a birthday party for her child and her child has chosen the friends they want to invite. This does not include my children which isn't a problem, even though they are close, my kids don't even know it's happening.

But now I've been asked to help out at the party last minute. I'm happy to help as we help each other out a lot, but it means changing our plans of going out for the day and my kids will probably find out about the party and they're too young to understand why they won't be able to go.

Aibu to be slightly annoyed and how can I tactfully let her know?? I don't want to hurt her feelings as she wouldn't do it intentionally but it will really hurt my child's feelings if they find out they weren't invited to the party.

You say you would have to change plans in order to l, so you already have plans, so you truthfully are not able to help. She can ask the mother of one of the invited girls.

Six is young for a girls only party. Dd 8 is veering more that way now. It would be fine if your friend was offering to do something with your ds on a different day which is what we did on dds 8th as the two boys we invite (family friends) didn't want to do the activity dd chose so we took them bowling on her actual birthday instead. I appreciate not everyone has these means but equally it could be a special picnic tea to the park.

You've offered to help so I would. However, I would also expect your ds to be recognised in the process.

She sounds like a shit friend to be honest and you sound like a doormat. I'd hope people would have the presence of mind not to even ask me this. I have an excellent resting bitch deface.

Face, even

My resting bitch deface is pretty impressive

Mine's better than yours.

Ner

Dammit

Does nothing.

She has a whole 'partys' worth' of parents she could ask to stay and help out same as everyone else can do in these situations. No need for you to do it.
Def tell her that you forgot you had plans with your kids that day and wont let them down.

YANBU

She is cheeky

YANBU.
I would explain that you really can't chain your precious DC up in the basement; it's absolutely inhumane, and you don't want to become this week's local street gossip. You've already decided and promised DC that you're going out on said day, on a secret fun day, out with your own precious DC. Tickets have already been purchased and therefore the day cannot be changed.

Cheeky mare, she can go off elsewhere...
.

You have plans with your kids.