To be annoyed when asked to help out at a party that my kids aren't invited...

[Freakindeakin]

So a friend is having a birthday party for her child and her child has chosen the friends they want to invite. This does not include my children which isn't a problem, even though they are close, my kids don't even know it's happening.

But now I've been asked to help out at the party last minute. I'm happy to help as we help each other out a lot, but it means changing our plans of going out for the day and my kids will probably find out about the party and they're too young to understand why they won't be able to go.

Aibu to be slightly annoyed and how can I tactfully let her know?? I don't want to hurt her feelings as she wouldn't do it intentionally but it will really hurt my child's feelings if they find out they weren't invited to the party.

Say no! You know you want to.

Do you think she's got confused and forgotten that your kids haven't been invited?

How old are the DC?
What sort of party is it?
How much help are you being asked for?

Madnesa. I can't imagine doing that!

What ?!! Erm tell her to feck off

My answer would be a big fat No

Perfect time for the phrase 'You're 'aving a larf' tbh....

I'd tell her that you've already made plans with your children for that day, and as they aren't invited to the party you'll be looking after them.

What does your friend expect you to do with your children? Leave them at home alone?

Seriously?

Tell her you have no childcare.

I'd tell her to bog off even if she now graciously invites yor children because it is convenient to get you there. Horrid rubbish usery friend.

Pleeeeease don't help out at this woman's party when you've made plans with your own family. Go ahead with your plans and just say you're busy. YANBU at all.

Eh? Bloody cheek! Wouldn't be overly bothered about the invite, but being asked to help anyway .
No.

Nope. Don't do it.

Seriously??

Eh? "Sorry, we have plans" will do nicely.

If you go, what message are you sending your children?

I think being nice to our friends is a good thing. But I also think friendship requires us to be honest and not be utter doormats.

It is staggering that she thought it appropriate to ask and I'm a bit thrown at the idea that any reasonable person would say yes.

Of course you should just say 'no, of course I can't help because I will be looking after my children'

It's one of those situations where your worrying about her feelings tips from being nice into being a little bit ridiculous.

That's weird. To answer your question, of course you shouldn't help.

Has she definitely not invited your kids, could there be a mix up and they are actually invited? Very odd if they are not!

'Sorry, we've already made plans.'

Of course not. Just tell her you already have plans.

Then distance yourself from her.

This is bizarre.

What world does she live in, where she thinks this is remotely acceptable.

YANBU to be extremely annoyed and obviously decline helping at the party because you are spending time with your own children.

Why would you rearrange your family's plans to help out at a children's party to which your own children are not invited?

I think you really need to think about why you're willing to do this... this is beyond 'helping each other out'.