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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

**to cut this "friend" out of my life** thread title changed by MNHQ

218 replies

jayisforjessica · 20/11/2016 21:14

Okay. Long and complicated backstory, but I'll simplify as much as possible. Some weeks ago I posted a thread on here about my "friend", C, who was persisting in touching/rubbing my belly (I'm pregnant) despite my repeated requests that she not. I finally lost my patience with her and swatted her hand away, which started a hoo-hah of epic proportions. She tried to turn mutual friends against me by playing the victim ("I don't know why Jay hates me so much, all I was doing was showing her love"). I nipped that in the bud pretty quickly by making sure all of our mutual friends had all of the information.

Since then, things have more or less gone back to normal, with a few differences. I have taken my turn hosting the group, and made it clear that C was not welcome in my house after too many boundary-crossings (mine and my DS's) and the mess that ensued when I enforced my boundaries about my body, etc. She has been invited when we've met up at other people's houses, but that's none of my business. I was never looking to kick her out of the group, just to make it clear she wasn't welcome in my house. When we've both turned up to someone else's house for the weekly gathering, I've been careful to stay on the other side of the room as her and I just don't talk to her.

I really wasn't looking for more drama. I just wanted to get on with life, with this one unpleasant aspect (having her in my personal space) surgically removed.

Here comes the tricky part.

A short while after the events of THAT post, my DP and I separated, largely due to the fact that I fell for another of our mutual friends, S, and she returned my feelings. I was honest with DP, everything was above board and open, and our friends are aware of the situation. I am so incredibly lucky because despite the fact that the separation was entirely my fault (I can and do own that fact), DP volunteered to be the one to move out. It was largely based on not wanting to disrupt the children (12yo DS and impending twins), but I'm so very grateful to him, and we're doing our best to retain some sort of friendship. It'll take time obviously but I think we might just get there.

Enter C.

I have heard from multiple people that she has a new, fun story about me. After she found out about me falling for S, I guess this was inevitable. Her latest story is that "Jay and I don't talk because she's in love with me, and she's mad that I don't return the feelings."

AIBU to want to confront her over yet another lie which is a deliberate attempt to make me look like the bad guy and absolve her of any wrongdoing that created the situation?

OP posts:
Rachel0Greep · 20/11/2016 22:23

Have you considered mediation from Jeremy Kyle?

Grin
bloodymaria · 20/11/2016 22:28

Agree that your focus should be your DS and DTs here, and getting the hang of co-parenting. This must be a fairly massive upheaval for your son.

ElspethFlashman · 20/11/2016 22:29

Your last thread was only last month and you were 20 weeks pregnant. With twins.

And since then you've started a new relationship and your husband has moved out?

Christ when I was 20 weeks pregnant I could barely cope with doing A Big Shop.

woowoowoo · 20/11/2016 22:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

babychamcherryb · 20/11/2016 22:35

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Only1scoop · 20/11/2016 22:35
Grin
Cherrysoup · 20/11/2016 22:36

I think your 'friend' is a massive drama queen and ignoring her as pp have said would be the worst punishment rather than feeding her silliness by banging on about it.

Only1scoop · 20/11/2016 22:36

'I fell for another of our mutual friends' ....
GrinGrin

Sptownmama · 20/11/2016 22:37

You're pregnant with twins, have a 12 year old and you have dumped your dp for one of your mutual friends? Jesus fucking christ I've heard it all now. Stop worrying about what this woman is saying about you and go look after your child who must be fucking devastated.

BlossomHillOne · 20/11/2016 22:38

So much going on...

OrangeKitchen · 20/11/2016 22:38

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

CurriedEggs · 20/11/2016 22:39

Elspeth Grin me too.

Bogeyface · 20/11/2016 22:40

You know what did it for me?

How amazingly understanding the ex has been despite his whole world being pulled out from under him, with his new twins presumably being mainly parented by his ex and her new girlfriend. He just happily moved out and buggered off...right.

Is his name Ross?

Grilledaubergines · 20/11/2016 22:43

I think 'c' really is the least of your worries.

scrivette · 20/11/2016 22:43

*'Is his name Ross'
*
GrinGrin

loobyloo1234 · 20/11/2016 22:45

Took me a second Bogeyface but Smile Grin

CoolCarrie · 20/11/2016 22:46

I notice op hasn't come back to us... That is telling!

Chairmanmeow1 · 20/11/2016 22:46

So you are pregnant with twins, have an older child on the brink of adolescence, and recently dumped your boyfriend (father of the twins I assume) for a female friend....I'm surprised you have the energy for this. Your friendship group probably doesn't know what hit it

DearMrDilkington · 20/11/2016 22:47

Is his name Ross?

BrilliantGrinGrinGrin.

Quintessing · 20/11/2016 22:50

I just came in here to look for the loo detergent troll.

Hmm

wrong room.

ToucheEclair · 20/11/2016 22:51

I'm sure what "C" has or hasn't said is the least of the gossip going around about you in your supposed "friendship" circle Hmm

hotdiggedy · 20/11/2016 22:52

Riiiiight.

Your poor 12 year old. Get a grip. Really. What an awful situation for him to have to deal with.

NicknameUsed · 20/11/2016 22:53

I must be very naive because I am not familiar with the expression and didn't know why so many posters were disgusted with it.

However, I am struggling to believe the rest of the OP's post because it is too ridiculous for words - more like an episode of Eastenders.

I wonder if it she is trying to get her story in the DM?

BakeOffBiscuits · 20/11/2016 22:55

Gosh things have moved quickly for you OP.Hmm

maldini · 20/11/2016 22:57

This is hilarious. Stop trying to make everything so dramatic, and try to remember you have children and other things like that to worry about Hmm

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