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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

**to cut this "friend" out of my life** thread title changed by MNHQ

218 replies

jayisforjessica · 20/11/2016 21:14

Okay. Long and complicated backstory, but I'll simplify as much as possible. Some weeks ago I posted a thread on here about my "friend", C, who was persisting in touching/rubbing my belly (I'm pregnant) despite my repeated requests that she not. I finally lost my patience with her and swatted her hand away, which started a hoo-hah of epic proportions. She tried to turn mutual friends against me by playing the victim ("I don't know why Jay hates me so much, all I was doing was showing her love"). I nipped that in the bud pretty quickly by making sure all of our mutual friends had all of the information.

Since then, things have more or less gone back to normal, with a few differences. I have taken my turn hosting the group, and made it clear that C was not welcome in my house after too many boundary-crossings (mine and my DS's) and the mess that ensued when I enforced my boundaries about my body, etc. She has been invited when we've met up at other people's houses, but that's none of my business. I was never looking to kick her out of the group, just to make it clear she wasn't welcome in my house. When we've both turned up to someone else's house for the weekly gathering, I've been careful to stay on the other side of the room as her and I just don't talk to her.

I really wasn't looking for more drama. I just wanted to get on with life, with this one unpleasant aspect (having her in my personal space) surgically removed.

Here comes the tricky part.

A short while after the events of THAT post, my DP and I separated, largely due to the fact that I fell for another of our mutual friends, S, and she returned my feelings. I was honest with DP, everything was above board and open, and our friends are aware of the situation. I am so incredibly lucky because despite the fact that the separation was entirely my fault (I can and do own that fact), DP volunteered to be the one to move out. It was largely based on not wanting to disrupt the children (12yo DS and impending twins), but I'm so very grateful to him, and we're doing our best to retain some sort of friendship. It'll take time obviously but I think we might just get there.

Enter C.

I have heard from multiple people that she has a new, fun story about me. After she found out about me falling for S, I guess this was inevitable. Her latest story is that "Jay and I don't talk because she's in love with me, and she's mad that I don't return the feelings."

AIBU to want to confront her over yet another lie which is a deliberate attempt to make me look like the bad guy and absolve her of any wrongdoing that created the situation?

OP posts:
Msqueen33 · 20/11/2016 21:30

Don't invite the drama! If your friends present you with the stories shut them down and say you're not interest. Your life sounds complicated with entering a relationship with a woman, leaving your dp what with twins and a son. I'd concentrate on home at the moment.

Ohyesiam · 20/11/2016 21:34

bratfarras the whole phrase is " tear them a new arsehole" delightful huh?I enjoy a "dull" drama free life too.....

KERALA1 · 20/11/2016 21:34

Awful phase wish people wouldn't use it. Didn't read whole thing

Silvercatowner · 20/11/2016 21:34

"Tear then a new one" is such a disgusting expression. I really wish people wouldn't use it..

This. It's vile.

Lumpylumperson · 20/11/2016 21:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BratFarrarsPony · 20/11/2016 21:39

tear her a new arsehole Confused and how would you do that exactly? totally disgusting phrase.

honestly it sounds like you lot deserve each other.

MadHattersWineParty · 20/11/2016 21:39

You've left your partner....for a new relationship with a woman... and you're pregnant with twins?

Really? If this is the case then you've really got enough drama without looking for more, surely.

JaniceBattersby · 20/11/2016 21:39

Is this an episode of Eldorado?

Carrados · 20/11/2016 21:40

Perspective.

That's what's needed here.

Your children, partner and ex dp should come first right now. Everything else should be white noise.

Halloweensnake · 20/11/2016 21:40

Seriously,you have much MUCH bigger things to worry about than some silly cow

EnidColeslaw771 · 20/11/2016 21:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Whocansay · 20/11/2016 21:43

Well, people witnessed the swatting incident, so will know the truth. She is clearly an attention seeking person with no boundaries. Just ignore her. You have more important things to worry about.
Flowers

MsJudgemental · 20/11/2016 21:43

Have you considered mediation from Jeremy Kyle?

UnoriginalNN · 20/11/2016 21:44

You think you've read it all then, bam!

Just ignore, ignore, ignore. Things sound a bit crazy atm and I'd wager you're focusing on this rather than the massive relationship upheavals that are going on.

Amandahugandkisses · 20/11/2016 21:45

You're PG with twins, just left your DP for a woman and a friend who touched your tummy is spreading rumours that you love her and you want to tear her a new one? Confused
is this for real?

Finola1step · 20/11/2016 21:45

I remember your original thread. You have absolutely every right to not want to be touched and make that clear.

But all this staying over the other side of the room, not talking to her is all very teenage. It must make others in the group very uncomfortable.

And surely you must have much, much important things to be dealing with right now.

HuckfromScandal · 20/11/2016 21:45

Think that you need to concentrate on your own car crash of a life, than what other people are saying about you!

hobnobsaremyfavourite · 20/11/2016 21:46

Ah a twin pregnancy.... How surprising

StillStayingClassySanDiego · 20/11/2016 21:48

What a barrel of bollocks GrinGrin.

If this is true , your children are in for a shower of shite until you reign in your neighbours.

StillStayingClassySanDiego · 20/11/2016 21:49

*rein

GeillisTheWitch · 20/11/2016 21:49

It does seem very self indulgent to be fretting about this when you have just blown your family apart

Yeah, this. I'd forget C and concentrate on your own problems for now. She isn't important.

hobnobsaremyfavourite · 20/11/2016 21:50

Grin at "barrell of bollocks"

user1440853712 · 20/11/2016 21:50

Why is everyone being so bitchy about the title of the post? It's not like she's said it to any of you jeez get over it, all she wanted was advice not for people to gang up on her about the title of her post?!!!

Waffles80 · 20/11/2016 21:51

Er...because it normalises sexually aggressive language?

MadHattersWineParty · 20/11/2016 21:51

I don't think the title of the post is the only issue here.

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