AIBU to make DD pay for driving lessons (that are from me)?

[woonnoow]

Hi all,

My daughter is 17. She is just beginning to learn to drive. I'm giving her lessons - I have offered to get her 'proper' ones for Christmas, but she finds it better with me.

I take her everyday, so that's an hour of my time. I don't mind, but I work from home, so my time is obviously really important. AIBU to charge her £5 for an hour?

She seems to roll her eyes when I ask for it, saying that her friends' parents don't make them pay (that typical phrase! ) so AIBU?

that is all.

Oh and the Daily Mail isn't fit to wipe shit ridden arse holes.

I don't think it's harsh. Charging your child for actually parenting them is shit parenting.

Clearly I am horrible then.

Yes, you are.

I can't believe I'm reading this!
I obviously missed a trick at half term. I spent hours with my son helping him with his maths and English homework and I didn't charge him anything. As for all the hours I've spent over the last 15 months writing reports, sending emails and fighting the local authority on his behalf for an EHCP and the right placement...I am clearly owed thousands.

No parent ever does this, surely. Only a tightwad.

My Dad spent several months teaching me to drive. He didn't charge.

If I were your DD I would resent you big time for this.

Oh and yes, being a tightwad IS pretty shitty.

Apart from the fact that you're not allowed to charge her for the lessons, I think your £5 am hour isn't really a good deal. She is very unlikely to pass the test only with your lessons (unless you did pass the test quite recently yourself). You might also be teaching her your bad habits.
Sooner or later she will end up paying an instructor as well.

I actually feel really sad for your daughter. Imagine having to pay for your mum's time :-(

Dear Lord; you think you've heard it all on MN and then...

How terribly sad. It should be a joy to transfer our knowledge and skills to others especially our children to prepare them for the world - it's the least we can do.
Last year I tutored my son and some of his friends through English GCSE for absolutely no charge. They did well - my son got an A - no charge for any of them.
My father was a Geography teacher and back in 1970s when we all were about to take our O'levels he gave private Geog tuition in the evenings to friends of mine in prep for their exams - even though offered he refused to take payment for it. He believed there should be no cost for the transference of knowledge to others. The friends he tutored are in their 50s now and have never forgotten his generosity.
My eldest son is about to start driving - as a former ADI I can't wait to take him out driving and transfer my knowledge and skills to him - it's what all species of animals do the world over - prepare our offspring for the big wide world out there.

This is a joke right?

Some of my best memories are of
My dearly departed dad patiently teaching me to drive

This is YABVVVU! Most people I know pay for the insurance too at that age so I think she is doing really well. I am a bit stunned TBH. How sad.

You're being petty, IMO. If you don't want to do it then don't, it's unreasonable to charge her

OP, I also run a business from home, so I do get the concern over losing an hour every day. However, charging your DD for your time is BU, as is charging her for a "service" (driving tuition) that you're not qualified to do professionally.

Would your DD perhaps take on some extra chores each week? Not a full five hours worth, but part of it. Freeing up some of your other time so you can catch up on your work. That way the hour you "lose" won't be all from work hours.

You ass. Making your daughter pay you for helping her?

Feel sorry for her!

If you haven't got time for her then tell her that instead of charging her! Sadly I would imagine if that's your attitude by 17 she is already aware how "busy" you are.

What about when she has needed help with homework? Or just general life advice/chat have you charged her for that?

Charging would set a precedent - once she has her license do you want this to happen

Could you pop down the shops for me DD
Yes that'll be £10

Not only should you not be charging her, but I don't think you should be teaching her either. Practice alongside professional lessons, fabulous, but starting the lessons yourself no. The way you are teaching her will probably be missing lots of the things instructors enforce these days, I know when my DD learnt (passed this year age 18) and I did practice she kept doing things different to how I was taught 30 years ago, such as indicating round parked cars, we did that, they don't now.

You need to look ahead. If you charge her for lessons and she passes, but there comes a time when you can't drive for any reason - e.g. you break your leg - for sure you will find her charging you for driving you around. You could find yourself out of pocket here.

Stop me too. My lovely & very patient dad taught me to drive, I miss him each day and think back to the time we spent together with nothing but happiness.

This thread has made me feel quite sad and reminded me of how lucky I am to still have my DM, who is also a fantastic GM and gives her time willingly (and for free!).

If you're not a troll, you're a twat@

Why does working from home mean your time is more valuable than those of us who work outside the home?

No you shouldn't charge but you should also get her professional lessons. Instructors have dual control cars and a lot of training for a reason. I personally think it's a good idea to get lessons to learn the basics so you don't pick up bad habits. You then need mostly practice (where parents come in) and infrequent lessons just to ensure you are on track. Finally a block of proper lessons help you learn how to pass the test, what the test routes are etc.

I had about 6 lessons over a month or so to get the basics. Then my mum took me out around my lessons. Often we combined it with a trip to the supermarket or I drove to uni and she drove home afterwards. I loved that time with her. I would have been really upset if she charged me for it.

For context she was self employed and worked from home. Any time spent with us was money lost but guess what WE ARE HER KIDS. We were are charged 20% of our income as board from 11 years of age (no pocket money at this stage, we earnt it all working for the family at crazy low wages because who takes on 11 year olds) Even They didn't suggest mum charged me (or my brothers) for her time. Although if my ate dad read this he would probably be kicking himself that he didn't think of it...