AIBU to make DD pay for driving lessons (that are from me)?

[woonnoow]

Hi all,

My daughter is 17. She is just beginning to learn to drive. I'm giving her lessons - I have offered to get her 'proper' ones for Christmas, but she finds it better with me.

I take her everyday, so that's an hour of my time. I don't mind, but I work from home, so my time is obviously really important. AIBU to charge her £5 for an hour?

She seems to roll her eyes when I ask for it, saying that her friends' parents don't make them pay (that typical phrase! ) so AIBU?

[newbiz]

This is a joke thread, it has to be, there's no way the OP can be serious

[Ameliablue]

Is anyone else touring up all the professional fees they could charge their children-
Chauffeur
Launderette
Chef
Housekeeper
Cake decorator
Coach
Tutor
Porter
Ironing service
PA
Nurse
Decorator
Cleaner
...

[RoseGoldHippie]

Neaders I feel the same about my DM she's a mad one but I think that strain runs in my family! Hehehe

OP if your still reading this, please don't charge your DD unless your planning to save it up and give it back to her. You cannot charge her for your 'time'! She didn't ask to be born!

[Neaders]

I know Rose! She's a little legend... don't know what I would ever do without her!

[RoseGoldHippie]

Neaders that's a lovely story!

[Neaders]

Yabvu...
You mentioned earlier that you were going to give it back to her once she passed her test. If that is the case then yanbu.
As a late teen / early 20 my mum charged me 'rent'. I cried about having to hand it over but little did I know she was putting it in a savings account for me! Paid for solicitors fees on my first home, my sofa, wedding and bridesmaids dresses!

She's your dd ffs... not a customer!

[Hayles88]

Yabvvvu. Never read anything quite like this. What a twat you are.

[maldini]

I bet op's daughter (if she's still talking to her) will have a field day sending her mother invoices when she's elderly and needs her daughter's help.

[CatchingBabies]

Op - I'm guessing you won't come back but after 5 pages of people telling you how awful this is please don't carry on defending it by saying you gave her a car or whatever reason you're going to try and justify it with.

Accept that you were wrong, sincerely apologise to your daughter and spend time with her freely because you want to and it's part o parenting her. I would hate you to ruin your relationship with her.

As someone who had a mother that saw her time as more important then me I can guess how she will be feeling. I stopped contact with her the minute I moved out.

[Meadows76]

I don't understand why people choose to have children then treat them like an inconvenience as soon as they hit their teenage years. I see if often on here esp with charging some poor kid rent as soon as he gets his first paper round!

100% THIS.

[llangennith]

Well, I've heard it all now Unbelievable!! YABU and mean.

[shouldwestayorshouldwego]

I guess that the other possibility is that the dd has grown up somewhat entitled. Is used to getting everything her way and finally OP has had enough of always doing as asked/ told. I do see it among some of my dc's classmates (younger) that every need/ want is met or a tantrum ensues. I don't think charging is the way to go, but a more even distribution of the expectation that if the OP gives up 5 hours a week purely for her dd's benefit, that at nearly an adult she gives something back to the family. Probably being somewhat generous though.

[ChickenVindaloo2]

I don't understand why people choose to have children then treat them like an inconvenience as soon as they hit their teenage years.

I see if often on here esp with charging some poor kid rent as soon as he gets his first paper round!

[missymayhemsmum]

Totally unreasonable! Though if you are really pushed for time and she isn't you could trade driving lessons for an hour's housework?

[honeylulu]

Hello Mother, is that you?

[pipsqueak25]

i really hope, although i doubt it. that this is a silly joke post, dd must be so upset with op, it is so sad i really feel for the dd if this is how 'dm' treats her, as if a parents time has to be brought, does anyone else wonder if this is the first time this has occurred in dd's life that mum's time is too valuable ?

[WLF46]

Yes you're being completely unreasonable.

Unless you think that when you are lonely and in a nursing home it would be acceptable for her to charge you an hourly rate (plus travel costs) for her time in coming to visit you on your birthday?

[user1479655572]

You keep say your time is important but no one's time is so important they can't spare an hour of it to spend time with their family.

[FranHastings]

Completely unreasonable. I have never heard of such a thing!

[pinkmagic1]

I think you are perfectly reasonable to charge her for insurance and petrol but it is very wrong to charge your own child for your time.

[Mynestisfullofempty]

pipsqueak25 No need to be sorry, I hope I didn't seem cross with you in my post. As you say it's so mean. I couldn't be like that with my daughter and judging by the replies nor could anyone but the OP. It's sad.

[pipsqueak25]

sorry missed that bit mynes op should jog on then, that is so mean.

[Mynestisfullofempty]

pipsqueak25 The daughter already pays for petrol and insurance, the OP wants to charge her for her time!

[ShowMePotatoSalad]

Asking her to contribute to petrol and insurance costs: fair enough..

Charging her £5 a lesson because it's taking an hour of "your time": wtf...

[Meadows76]

but may be she could buy a bit of petrol instead. OP said she does. And pays the insurance!